From Elysium

What Now?

2011-10-10T01:15:00.000-07:00

It seems like time flies by. So mainly, I wanted to talk about how I wanted to do NaNoWriMo again this year (I did it in 2009), but I don't know if this is such a hot idea, considering how bad my procrastination has become. Since I am finally a senior in college, I'm trying hard to do everything so I don't berate myself for missing out later. Therefore, I am still doing the whole being an editor of a daily newspaper thing, fashion show, a senior thesis, regular schoolwork, and putting 50,000 words on top of that could be the death of me or my grades.

In fact, my grades are going pretty badly by my standards this semester, so luckily I have picked the year where my transcript is already finalized for law school to slack off. My senior thesis seems to suck up a lot of research time without having that much to show for it, and this is sort of irritating. Going to Stanford for research this summer was fun, though, and I am thinking very seriously about pursuing a career on the west coast.

ALSO, ALSO I finished Son of Neptune. It was glorious. No spoilers, but I can say that this one hugely benefited from Percy's return as a narrator. He just shines whenever he gets page time, and you know, I don't want to sound like an angry fan girl, but the other characters don't have the kind of charisma he does to hold up a story. Just to compare, it took me six months to get through The Lost Hero. It took me less than ten hours to get through Son of Neptune. ~~Review~~ reactions later? Everyone knows I am actually incapable of giving a review; it is really just me saying whatever comes to mind about a book I've read. Fan fiction galore after the book, also. That is nice, though; it's a good feeling getting back to writing.

But I suppose it's early yet to figure out whether it would be a good idea to do NaNo, but I figured I should think about it and toss around some ideas. Good lord, someone give me some organization in my life, please. Someone tell me they are also doing NaNo. I certainly need a buddy if this is going to happen.

Guess What

2011-10-04T16:28:00.000-07:00

SON OF NEPTUNE RELEASE DAY!!

Look at that picture. I just swooned. Hey, Percy.

Yeah, yeah, okay, I'll do a catchup post tomorrow. 1) I am finally done with law school applications. So I can take a breather, sit back, and wait for the letters to roll in. 2) I'm thinking about doing NaNoWriMo this year again? Is anyone with me? This may be a bad idea at this time, as I will explain later. 3) I am really bad at maintaining a blog.

Somehow, I am returning to 60 followers after my absence. Don't know how that happened. Hope I have substantive things to say from now on. Happy reading!

Goodbye, Borders

2011-07-18T16:32:00.000-07:00

In February, I blogged that the Borders in my hometown was closing. Well, now it looks like we're saying goodbye forever, because today, Borders has announced it will be closing all of its remaining stores. My sadness then is nothing compared to now. This is terrible news for the industry, and I think it marks a moment when we have to realize the effects of e-readers, for better and for worse. I was really hoping Borders would be able to pull through. Unfortunately, this leaves Barnes & Noble as the only major bookstore chain in the country.

Not only is this sort of creepy in a B&N OWNS THE WORLD NOW way, it's drastically cutting down on the number of places people can physically browse books. I don't know about you, but one of the best things about buying books for me is stumbling on new titles by accident. How are you supposed to stumble on new titles on Amazon? They suggest things for you, but none of the suggestions are random.

Also, plenty of bad news for new writers, who depend a lot of random stumbling, since without a fan base, nobody's technically looking for them. This will definitely make marketing even more important before the release date. You could've written a jewel of a book, but if nobody reads it, benefit from word-of-mouth will be minimal. Those books that don't get a lot of promotion from their publishers — you were shit out of luck before, and it's going to be even worse now. No matter what is said about its failing state, Borders was a major chain. The complete eradication of its units is going to have a pretty substantial effect. Apparently, B&N is considering buying some of Borders' old locations, which I guess is the best news we can conceivably expect from this situation.

It's being tossed around that books are going the way of records, in that eventually, they're just going to go away. I hope that isn't true, but how can we say for sure? I will always prefer physical copies, but that doesn't mean the next generation will.

I have a lot of wonderful memories from Borders; it was where all the high school kids hung out and did their homework. There are definitely some sentimental feelings toward the stores on my part, not purely practical ones. I usually avoided giving my business to B&N, just because I liked Borders better. And for the first time, I won't be able to buy a Percy Jackson book from Borders. I'll have to get SON OF NEPTUNE from B&N in October.

Sad day for authors, readers, and the industry in general. But especially for me.

You'll be missed, Borders.

Lookie Here

2011-07-17T15:31:00.000-07:00

Things that happened while I was gone:

1) I got my LSAT scores back. They were great, by pretty much every objective standpoint. I sort of overreacted because I felt like I bombed it walking out, as I'm sure many people would tell you. I ended that day crying in the Olive Garden bathroom, which is the lowest of all low things, maybe with the exception of crying in a bathroom at McDonald's. I basically became a self-pitying hermit and had to be talked out of alcoholism and writing terrible poetry. So I moped for a couple of days. I'm going to a good law school and I'm going to be a real person who has employment prospects and stuff! I am retaking the test in October, but that's mainly because I'm the perfectionist freak everyone hates in life, and I have this unhealthy desire to emulate Elle Woods plus, more scholarships would be nice, yeah. But now the pressure's off, and studying has no longer become this Life-Or-Death situation. I am very, very happy about this. And looking forward to getting acceptances so I can momentarily stop worrying about my future.

2) Harry Potter 7 (Part 2) came out. Which was, all in all, a fairly good send-off. I am no giant fan of the movies, but I think the quality improved as the movies went on. The epilogue is still, as always, the most awkward part of anything, and I still hate Ginny as a character. Nevertheless, the midnight showing was fun, especially since we moved up night production in order to make it. I feel like I said goodbye when the last book came out, but even then, it was sort of sad. I am making this sound so meh, when really, I was the girl who was weeping for the second half of the movie. My friend Kevin who was sitting next to me actually turned to me halfway through and was like, "ARE YOU CRYING?"

3) My family got an orange tabby kitten! I named him Frodo, who is my favorite in LOTR. I think this is pretty much a sign that I'm going to die alone and unloved. I officially "own" a cat, and I named him after a fantasy character. Also, fun story. My roommate and I created an incredibly effective drinking game to ROTK that you should try. Drink every time:

Gandalf does magic
Merry or Pippin does something stupid
Aragorn flirts with Eowyn or vice versa
Frodo falls over
Fake ending/fade out happens
Legolas says something mysterious/looks into the distance devolved into every time Legolas is onscreen
Someone smokes a pipe
Elves versus dwarves rivalry is revealed
Aragorn's future/lineage is mentioned
Denethor compares Faramir unfavorably to Boromir

Have fun. Oh, and I missed the blogosphere. Will have more posts up soon!

Where Did I Go?

2011-06-13T09:34:00.000-07:00

Really sorry for disappearing without explanation. As you know, I had to take the LSAT, and the stress was getting to me, so I just didn't have time or desire to continue blogging for a while. The test is over, and yeah, it's been a rough couple of days after. It may be that the studying is not over yet. We will see. I don't like unsaddling personal issues in public, so I think I will take a hiatus for a little bit, to get everything in order and figure out where I'm going from here (with my studying and career-planning and all that — I still plan on continuing to blog and write).

Hopefully, things settle down soon and turn out for the best.

See you soon.

Book Review: Shizuko's Daughter

2011-05-19T21:50:00.000-07:00

Blurb — Shizuko kills herself, escaping a soured marriage, leaving her husband free to marry his mistress of eight years, and having vague ideas about making her daughter's life better. Yuki, 12, now faces a bleak world with a stepmother who tries to eradicate all traces of her predecessor and curtail the girl's visits to her mother's family. Her father is distant, taciturn, and guilt ridden, providing neither the support Yuki needs nor the discipline the stepmother wants him to exercise over the girl. Most of all, Yuki must cope with the loss of her mother and piece together some meaning for her death and ultimately for her life. Through strength and independence, Yuki comes to grips with her mother's memory, deals with her own current plight, and makes plans for the future.

Review — While not technically a novel about Asian-Americans, I felt this book deserved a mention, because it was one of the first books featuring an Asian main character that I read. I don't know what necessarily drew me to this book, but I do remember that after the first page, I was hooked. It is not often you come across a book with that kind of power.

The title was an apt choice, because Yuki spends the duration of the book struggling with the concept of being Shizuko's daughter, the daughter of a woman who committed suicide, a label she both wants to escape and doesn't. The range of emotions depicted is vast, as you might expect. There's a lot of grief and anger, but in spite of it all, this is a book that manages to be hopeful. So while what drew me in to the story was a horrified fascination with the actual suicide that is described in the opening pages, I stayed with it because the message was an uplifting one.

Maybe I am not looking hard enough, but I see a lot of recycled premises in YA, like having to cope with a lie you've been told your whole life, having to move somewhere else, being the ugly duckling of school, and I'm certainly not saying here that recycled premises can't be good ones. It is pretty rare, though, to see a book that deals with successfully with suicide, and maybe that's why this book stands out to me. The point of the book is not really to try to understand the suicide (because how can anyone, much less a 12-year-old girl make sense of her mother deciding to end her own life?), but to realize that somehow, you have to pick up the pieces and move on. The addition of having to deal with a not-so-attentive father and the sudden presence of a stepmother was also exceptionally handled.

As you may be able to tell by now, I clearly have a preference for "quiet" books; not that I don't enjoy a great rabble-rousing, fast-paced action/adventure, but I tend to gravitate with my own picks toward books that lie on the literary side of the line. The parts that shine in SHIZUKO'S DAUGHTER are the scenes of contemplation, and there is some really exquisite description here. While technically a young adult novel, I would recommend this to people who are of high school age and over. Not because it's graphic or inappropriate, but because I feel like I didn't really appreciate it until later, since I read it rather early on. A real jewel of a book. Check it out if you can.

Book Review: Where She Went

2011-05-17T14:55:00.000-07:00

Okay, another departure from AAPI Heritage Month. No worries, the next post will be another book rec, and it'll be here Friday, oh yes. Don't miss out. I fucking love this book. It's a surprise!

Just finished WHERE SHE WENT. First of all, just look at that goddamn cover. How freaking gorgeous is it? I'm so happy I went out and bought this book. IF I STAY blew my mind, but WHERE SHE WENT is forever on my list of favorites.

Blurb — It's been three years since the devastating accident . . . three years since Mia walked out of Adam's life forever. Now living on opposite coasts, Mia is Juilliard's rising star and Adam is LA tabloid fodder, thanks to his new rock star status and celebrity girlfriend. When Adam gets stuck in New York by himself, chance brings the couple together again, for one last night. As they explore the city that has become Mia's home, Adam and Mia revisit the past and open their hearts to the future - and each other. Told from Adam's point of view in the spare, lyrical prose that defined If I Stay, Where She Went explores the devastation of grief, the promise of new hope, and the flame of rekindled romance.

~~I should stop calling these book reviews. They're clearly just me, going on disjointed rants.~~

Review — All right, it sounds counterintuitive, wrong even, to say that WHERE SHE WENT was more emotional for me than IF I STAY. I mean, the first book was the trauma of losing your whole family and lying there on the verge of death in a hospital, choosing whether it's worth it or not to live, and this. What is this? This is about some emo kid's broken heart, and I'm sitting here like it's the saddest thing ever. Really wrong. This is not correct, I'm sure. Maybe, though, it's like real life, where you don't get the full impact of grief until after the fact. When Mia was dying, I was on the edge of my seat, hoping she would live, fearing she would die. I didn't have time to be sad. But if WHERE SHE WENT does anything well, it's illustrating that grief doesn't go away after it happens. It's all about that raw, emotional impact, and yeah, it packs a punch.

This book sure doesn't suffer from sequel-itis. In fact, it uses its status as a sequel to its advantage. The characters in the original were superbly drawn, and that's what made it so relatable, because you felt like you knew the family, you knew Mia and Adam. It's what made you care. But you go a step further here. The choice to switch the POV to Adam in the sequel was one of the most masterful decisions that went into this book. The adjusted lens allowed you as a reader to experience another facet of each of the characters. I came out of this book knowing Adam a lot better and actually loving Mia. Because I wasn't seeing the family scenes from her perspective, I finally witnessed her shyness, her perpetual sense of not-belonging. It was like IF I STAY was my first impression of Mia, a girl who, yeah, lay on the better side of average and I could probably come to like. I got to know her in the sequel, and I will forever be grateful that Gayle Forman gave me that chance.

No equivocation here: I liked this book better than the first, by a long shot. I'm cheap, so I'm so happy to be able to tell you, the hardcover was worth it.

I am always reading while I'm writing, so there are many, many books that go into my own. It's like a secret that I have, which books shine through which passages of my manuscript. There are a lot; completely unrelated genres, voices that are miles apart. But I stopped writing to finish reading this book. I'm definitely hoping that if I can get one thing out of it, it's this incandescent ability to convey grief.

Both books are highly recommended, so if you haven't read them already, what are you waiting for?

Asian-American Self Image

2011-05-16T20:32:00.000-07:00

(Sorry all of these posts are going to be so ME-centered, but I'm not an expert on Asian-American studies, and I like to talk about myself. So there. Not implying everyone's experience is identical to my own.)

I have probably told this story many times before, and mostly for comedic effect, but I had a problem when I was little (dead serious):

I wanted to be a mother, and I wanted blonde-haired, blue-eyed children. Super Aryan babies. This delusion persisted through my elementary school years. It maybe, possibly had something to do with the fact that I was the only Chinese girl in my class. To this day, I still tend to befriend white people; I even feel kind of uncomfortable being in large groups of Asians, which is pretty ironic. But back to the point, I was really setting myself up for disappointment, because when I got to junior high and began to crush on a half-Asian boy, I realized that I was never going to have blue-eyed children. I mean, I'm not a genetic specialist or anything, but I'm fairly certain that even if I procreate with a hot Scandinavian man, my children are still going to have that particular shade of flat brown hair all half-Asians have and brown eyes.

That story might not be totally relevant to this post, but it still illustrates that sometimes, Asian-Americans have problems and inner conflicts with self image. It's difficult for everyone in this day and age, being bombarded from all sides with images of what you're supposed to look like, what you're supposed to do, that stereotypes often become models to emulate. Even if the model minority thing is nurture instead of nature, the very effect of having all of your friends, classmates, and even teachers assume you must be smart because you are Asian forces you to do better, if like me, you're an inborn perfectionist.

When I got my first and only B (88.6, dammit) in high school, I literally caterwauled like a dying cat on my knees in the hallway in front of my math teacher who, for the record, looked extremely uncomfortable, but was unwilling to change my grade. "You don't understand," I said, sobbing, "This is going to ruin my chances of going to an Ivy League school. The entire community is going to disown me. My parents will kill me." This is terrible logic, by the way; don't ever go to your teachers with this excuse. Obviously, my personal problems and stature within the Chinese community do not cancel out my inability to do math at an A-level.

In retrospect, this was not one of my more shining moments. I'm competitive, and I like to be better than everybody else, there's no doubt about that. But your grades are not your life. Not going to an Ivy League school will not kill you; I am still alive, after all. Still, I believed it was my job to get A's. It was part of my identity. I was going to be a stupid, failure Asian if I did not get A's. I was an A-SIAN, NOT A B-SIAN. There is some element of cultural expectation upon this need to take standardized tests like a boss (not important life skill), but it works like a positive feedback loop. Asians feel like they need to excel, others see a monolithic group of yellow people who tend to do well, so therefore must do well without exception, and on and on.

I guess it's not one of the worst stereotypes to suffer; oh, people think you are smart even if you're not, how sad, you baby. But think about all of the people who fall by the wayside. Think about all of the people who are good at music or art, who don't really care to be a doctor or a high-powered, six-figured businessperson on Wall Street. Think about the writers like us. Or think about athletes. Think about people who just want to be C-students. I'm not saying you should be less good than you can be, but I am of the firm belief that college is not for everyone. Probably not a popular idea, but it's not. How though, as an Asian person, can you say, I don't think college is for me. There is a lot of inner torment with not being able to live up to the standard. And it sucks when people expect you to be smarter than it's actually possible for you to be. Even subconsciously, there are teachers and employers who may want you to be better, faster, smarter than Sally Smith who sits at the desk or in the cubicle next to you. It's not fair.

It's sort of a weird social experiment I do when people meet me. I always make them guess my major instead of telling them outright. And reliably like clockwork, how do the choices go? 1) You're in business, right? 2) No wait, let me think. Molecular and cellular biology (pre-med). 3) Not that either? Okay, engineering. (HAHA, this is truly funny; I am a disaster with all things practical science.)

After that, they stop guessing, because they don't know where to go from there. I'm not offended. I'm not telling you this because I'm angry about it. It's just a funny observation. It's kind of an accident that I'm going into law, and I'm in history because I fiercely love it, not because I think of it as a stepping stone. When you're not in one of the three majors I listed above, there's a strange sense of not-belonging, like you're an outcast, like you're doing something you're not supposed to. You feel like a constant rebel, which is cool sometimes, and other times, not so much. Why do we feel like we have to fit a mold?

On a more superficial level, it sounds stupid, but feeling beautiful is an important thing for women. I don't know, maybe some girls are less shallow than I am, but I am pretty damn shallow; I mean, my vanity is approaching the level of Snow White's evil stepmother at times. I like to dress up. I like to look nice and for people to notice. Confession: I even fish for compliments, more than occasionally. I am one of those girls who reads every fashion magazine every month and is horrified at the idea of going to work in sweat pants, and people know it. This is, I guess, a recent phenomenon, because I had a hard time feeling beautiful when I was younger. I didn't know how to dress or put on makeup. I was skinny and short and I had glasses, and I tried to make up for it by being funny and smart. I am still skinny and short, but in a okay-I-can-tell-she's-a-girl way. Yeah, obesity may be a problem in America, but it's just as difficult being a stick and seeing curves be celebrated everywhere.

Bigger problem: Apparently some white people aren't aware of this or don't notice (which is great!), but Asians are divided into monolids and double lids. Double lids are what Caucasians have. Monolids are what I have. If you scroll down to the picture from my last post, you can see. My eyes are like two slits in my face; the lids don't fold into themselves when my eyes are open. Or for reference, look at the cover of THE FOLD by An Na, which I am promoting as a great book for understanding Asian-American self image. Yes, people get surgery over their eyes. Maybe not because they want to look like white people, like Tyra Banks so callously and simplistically suggested on her show a few years ago, but because, guys — it is really hard to put on makeup and both look like you put anything on and also avoid looking like a mixture between a clown and a streetwalker. I worked past it, but not without some measure of self-hatred. For a while, I even convinced myself that I was unattractive solely because of my eyes. This is utterly idiotic, even for me. I think most people don't notice I am monolidded until I point it out. People blow up their own imperfections and one day, it's the only thing they can see.

Especially since there are so few Asians in the media, it's hard to be like, oh yes, she is beautiful and she looks like me. All I could think was, why don't I look like that busty blonde? She is beautiful and I don't look like her, and therefore, I must be ugly, since there are clearly only two alternatives. So we're back to square one with why I thought my future children would be Aryan. This works the other way around too; when you ask me to think of attractive Asian guys, I have a hard time. I list actors; they're all white or even African-American. I don't think of any Asian actors who I would — excuse me — like to bang.

And this is the crux of it. How can you be confident or feel like you're good at anything, wanted by anyone, if you don't at least believe you're beautiful? I'm lucky. I've never had an eating disorder, never tried to kill myself, never seriously cried over this, but there are still good days and bad days. There are days when I do like looking in the mirror, and there are days when I don't, sad to say. Cultivating a healthy self-image is what makes a happy person. And I think everyone deserves to be happy. I don't have a solution to creating these good self images for Asian-Americans everywhere, but this was cathartic for me,* so maybe all it takes is someone to talk to about it, a role model for younger kids, and a confidant for older ones.

I don't want to end this post on a boo-hoo, look at my #whitegirlproblems (so sad, wrong, and ironic that I use this in daily conversation), so HAVE SOME KEVJUMBA, who manages to address this issue more concisely and in a less depressing way. Go Dragonball Zeeeeeee! Okay, so I lied. Fictional character, but I totally had a crush on Goku when I was kid. Look at those arms that are completely attainable ~~so not 'roid rage~~. He's full on Asian. He counts.

*Okay, but really I am fine and happy, so don't leave me any numbers for rehab or anything.

I realize I didn't cover a lot of the problems Asian-American men face. Further reading if you are interested:

Playing the (Asian) Dating Game (article from HerCampus)
Asian Pre-Teens (RainbowKids.com)

Thanks, Tere!

2011-05-13T23:08:00.000-07:00

I interrupt AAPI Heritage Month for this important public service announcement.

Awhile back, I won a Mardi Gras gift package from Tere Kirkland and through a bunch of crazy mishaps, mainly the fact that my college apartment address is dysfunctional and wants me to never receive packages/feel loved, the package was returned. Luckily for me, she is amazingly persistent and sent it to my home address, so now that I'm home temporarily for the summer, I finally get to see what I got!

I'm so excited! This is the greatest beginning of summer surprise ever. In this lovely box of goodies was cards, hot sauce, coffee, Mardi Gras trinkets, this awesome light-up key chain (I love light up things and I love key chains), and a signed copy of XVI! Which is incredible, because I absolutely adore dystopian novels, and this is only my second signed copy of anything (the first being BATTLE OF THE LABYRINTH duh prized possession, and unless you count this signed copy of an illustrated biblical book I got when I was 10 ~~totally doesn't count~~). What a fantastic way to kick off my summer reading.

PS Umm, thanks for freaking out yesterday, Blogger, and pseudo-deleting my posts and comments on everyone's blogs. Some advance notice would be cool, thanks, bro.

Coffee. My one true love. Plus everything else I could hold at one time.

OMG BOOK. LOOK AT MY HAPPY SQUINTY EYES.

Thank you so much! I am a bottomless pit of joy.

Book Review: Seeing Emily

2011-05-11T21:09:00.000-07:00

Throughout AAPI Heritage Month, I'd like to highlight a few of my favorite YA novels that feature Asian-Americans. Some of them you probably will have heard of, but I hope I can at least introduce several books you might not know about. This is the first in a series of book recommendations.

Seeing Emily — Joyce Lee Wong

Blurb — This free verse novel introduces readers to sixteen-year-old Emily, one of three Asian students at her high school in Richmond, Va., and the only child of protective, ambitious parents. She loves her parents and has always strived to please them, but her interest in a sexy new student, her growing passion for art, and her need to break away without breaking her tightly-knit family apart, force Emily to create a web of lies that ultimately traps her just as tightly as her circumstances. Through her art she finds a key to freedom and a new understanding of her place in the world.

Review — Did you catch that? SEEING EMILY is a novel in free verse. Before you turn away, I'm going to disclaimer this review by saying I am the first person to disregard books in free verse. I just haven't had great experiences with it. The biggest problem I have with free verse is that it often is so obvious and pervasive that it distracts from the actual story by being so visibly and obnoxiously there; it's constantly shoving itself in your face. No such issue here. By the time you're in the second chapter, you'll practically have forgotten that this is written in nontraditional form.

Like many books about Asian Americans, this one is primarily about Emily finding what it means to be Chinese-American; specifically, how to balance being Chinese with being American. And it's a great thing when you finally realize that those two terms are not mutually exclusive. The uncertainty of being a teenager is deftly combined with the struggle to reconcile your traditional home life with being immersed in a very different culture at school with your friends. One of the best characteristics of this book is how strong Emily is as a standalone character. The way the book is written, she really shines as the focus.

Lee Wong should be commended for the sensitive, realistic way she portrays Chinese parents. With all of the hullabaloo about Tiger Mothers and the best parenting techniques, it is really easy these days, especially for teenagers, to see their parents as the villains. There's no way around it: Asian parents are controlling and hard to please. In the book, Baba and Mama are like any parents; they're deeply involved in their daughter's life, watching her pull away from them, and they're anxious about it. They are bossy, determined, protective, and concerned. And man, do they work hard. Because if there's one defining factor I can say about Chinese parents, it's that they are the hardest workers in the world. Emily's wavering identity puts a strain on her relationship with her parents.

Her internal debate is manifested through her perceived need to choose between her American boyfriend and her Chinese parents. For Chinese-Americans, there's sort of a weird dichotomy of feeling ashamed of your "backward" upbringing and also feeling the need to defend it when people misunderstand it. The truth is, Chinese culture is complex, neither better nor worse than American culture, but it is really hard for young people who are finding themselves to realize that.

The book does a great job of giving the reader a true sense of Emily's personality and attitude by intermingling a series of childhood memories to show how they have shaped her present self. The great thing is many of the stories are probably universally relatable to Chinese-Americans growing up. My mom packs my dad's lunch every day for work, and I remember how he used to say people would twist their noses at the food in his lunchbox because they hadn't seen it before and therefore thought it must be disgusting. I never packed lunches to school for that reason; I don't like having to defend my food. My mom used to sew my clothes in junior high, and people would poke fun of the way I dressed. Emily experiences a similar moment and how the feeling of pride in her mother's needlework was overshadowed by the shame that came from her classmates' teasing. The pain of walking home from the bus stop and having stupid, young boys pull at the corners of their eyes and say things like "flat-face" and "yellow" is not something a child can easily forget, and unfortunately, it is reasonably common, even now. The pressure of fitting in can drive young Chinese-Americans to want to reject part of their identity, and I think that's an incredibly sad thing that becomes something those people come to regret later in life.

I hope there are more books that show the Asian-American teenage experience, because it is a difficult and confusing time, especially when navigated alone. Even if you are not Asian, at its core, the book is about the desire to be "normal" and the fear of standing out. Everyone, at some point in their lives, wants to fit in. For some people it is easier than for others. If you have ever been torn between two groups, whether they are social cliques, cultures, or something else, this is a book you will feel for and enjoy.

Next time — Asian-American self image

Funny Asians On The Interwebs

2011-05-09T22:29:00.000-07:00

I am fashionably late to the Asian party in May. Sidenote: Today is my mother's birthday, so the best of wishes to her, a truly wonderful woman, who I love, even though we disagree on virtually everything and get in really loud fights. 世上只有妈妈好. I am a very lucky girl. Happy birthday, Mama.

I thought I would start off with something a little light-hearted and fun before we get into the DEEP ANGST of my ASIAN PSYCHE. Okay, really, I thought I would intersperse my srs bsns posts with happy things. And book recs! Because everybody likes book recs, right? I will have around two book recs a week and one srs bsns post about AAPI (Asian American Pacific Islander) issues. Good? So that means lots of posts this fine month of May. If you miss any and want to go back, I'm going to tag all of these posts with AAPI Heritage Month for your convenience. Enjoy!

1) Engrish.com — If you have never been to this website, please click on this link right now. I guarantee you won't leave for at least half an hour. It's a collection of the funniest signs, ads, products, etc. from Asian countries that have English on them. Nobody uses English as a second language better than Asians! Somebody bought my family a book of Engrish as a Christmas present last year, and lemme tell you, my dad thought it was The Greatest Thing Ever.

2) Asians Sleeping In The Library — This may actually only be funny to college students, and it is funnier because now every time I'm in any public place and I see an Asian sleeping, I have this crazy ridiculous urge to snap a picture and submit it to this website. Idk, Asians are funny when they sleep, I guess. So, secret between you and me ~~and anyone who knows my name and Google~~ I fell asleep in the middle of my poli sci final and I totally drooled over the test. Don't worry. I finished, and the wet spot dried before I turned it in. I know, I'm gross. That's why you should only know me over the Internet, because I seem much more charming that way. Although I'm sure I'm ruining the facade of my sparkling personality with every post.

3) KevJumba — My favorite male Asian ever. I mean, seriously, this kid one ups my brother. He's an Asian comedian on Youtube, proving that we Asians are indeed very funny. I will probably be using his videos in several of my posts throughout the month. Because he's awesome. Everyone needs some KevJumba in their lives. One of my favorites, partly because this was back when he still danced and lip-synched at the beginning of his videos:

4) HappySlip — She's Filipino, and she's super talented! Many of her videos are riffs on cultural humor, and she plays members of her family, all by herself! Yup, she dresses up as members of her family, and she does fantastic accents. Check it out:

Tune in for a book rec on Thursday.

PS!! Krispy and Alz are also participating in posts for AAPI Heritage Month, so please celebrate over at A Nudge In The Right Direction too!

Updates and Get Ready For May

2011-05-02T14:01:00.000-07:00

Random mishmash of things that happened while I was away/things I care about:

1) I decided to stay in my college town for the summer. I'm going home for about a month after finals to do some intensive boot camp training in the last weeks before the LSAT, but after the test is over, I'm heading back to my beloved apartment to work at the newspaper for the summer. I get to be managing editor, which is pretty neat with the opportunity to learn some new skills.

2) I set a finish-by date for THE FOREVER CITY. August 5. That's the end of summer term at the newspaper and when I must have a completed draft of this novel. I'm really excited to finally get back to it, after my exam/school obligations are over. I'm going to resume my original schedule of writing 4-5 days a week. Sounds tough to hit the ground running, but I've no time to ease myself back in. Better rip off the band-aid as quickly as I can. Also, time to read! I planned on reading at least 35 books this year, so I definitely need to start catching up. Lots and lots of library time planned.

3) I got TWO scholarships! One is a merit scholarship based on GPA with $$$ (yay!). And the other, which I am infinitely more excited about, is a history department specific scholarship for one student per year (me!!) that provides the funds to send me to Stanford University this summer to peruse primary sources for my senior honors thesis. Plus, I get a cool title. That's nice too. My thesis is on the political influence of Chinese immigrants on the Shandong problem in the Paris Peace Conference 1919 - 1922. I feel unbelievably lucky and only hope my luck can carry through June 6 (lolbutseriously).

4) This is Asian-Pacific-American Heritage Month, so as I said way back in February, I will be doing a series of posts on APA issues in society and literature throughout the month. (So come visit from time to time!) The first will either be at the end of this week or beginning of the next. I'll try my best, but this is the week before finals, so I'm trying desperately not to fail at the moment.

5) Osama Bin Laden has been killed. I am going to leave you with a video that I remember at my darkest episodes and the best of times. It's a testament to the power and relevancy of literature and film to our every day lives and real situations. I don't mean to use it in a corny way or cheapen the gravity and importance of this moment in history with a blasé movie reference. Truly, I think these are incredible words taken alone, respectfully, and in seriousness. I'm sure you know them, but I hope you enjoy them as I always do. God bless America.

Youtube video (embedding disabled)

Summer Days

2011-04-10T22:18:00.001-07:00

I'm sorry for being a bit MIA recently. As you must know by now because I'm always whining about it, the LSAT is coming up on June 6. My spring break literally consisted of taking a practice test every day. And I'm not going to lie, it sucks serious balls right now. It's just frustrating because I'm stalled in the same range and I really, really want to be Elle Woods. I'm not super far off, but just far off enough to where I just might miss my dream school AGAIN. This time, however, it is not about finding "the school that fits me," it is about getting a job after I graduate so I can be a functioning member of society who pays the bills and doesn't live in her parents' basement (because the school I go to now fits me just fine). Also, it would be somewhat cool to hold a party where I get drunk and in my more sloppy, blunt moments tell all of those other snooty Chinese parents who looked down on me for all of my undergrad years to kiss my ass, because I am more successful than all of their children. But that would be mean and shallow to list even as a minor reason. So yeah. I'm kind of panicking. A little.

This is why I might be peace-ing out for a while, maybe with sporadic posts if anything particularly inspirational strikes me. In the meantime, I'm looking ahead to Life After June 6, which consists of staying on campus for the summer, spending whole days at the library, swimming, stargazing, exploring downtown, roadtrips, watching movies, not rationing the amount of time I spend with friends, sitting on my under-used balcony at night, finishing my novel, shopping, turning 21, and all manner of things that do not include responsibility or studying for things. Summer is the best season. Not just because my birthday is then, but because you can wear minimal clothes (in a non-skanky way), sleep in every day (even though I do that anyway basically; afternoon classes rock), and because green things and sun make me happy.

Here, have a collage.

Why yes, that corn is in fact Illinoisan.

Also, this song, which always makes me think of lazy summer afternoons. And it reminds me of Percy Jackson too, which is the ultimate summer read, it's so great.

That's it before my blog starts becoming a tumblr. Summer reads? Is anyone even thinking that far ahead? It's thunderstorming outside and Midwestern summer storms at night are the best.

V-Cards, Booze, and Other Teenage Unmentionables

2011-03-23T21:24:00.000-07:00

I'm currently reading TWENTY BOY SUMMER by Sarah Ockler, and before I go into what's next, I want to say I'm recommending this book fully, unequivocally, 100 percent and all that. I think it's great. You should absolutely go read it. It's very comparable to Sarah Dessen and THE SKY IS EVERYWHERE by Jandy Nelson in that it's YA chick lit with a more mature emotional edge. This book makes me feel like it's summer in California, which is exactly everyone needs at all times.

A particular premise of the book is that Anna, the main character, who is vacationing in California, has this prime opportunity to lose her virginity, which everyone refers to as her "albatross." So before you decide to agree or disagree.

Let's get one thing straight. All fiction has some semblance of reality. Even fantasy. There has to be something that people can relate to or else there's no reason to keep reading. And while real teenagers don't engage in fights with cyclopes or fall in love with vampires, they do have sex, smoke weed, and drink beer. Maybe not all three, all at the same time, or in that order, but these things happen.

Lately, I have seen a lot of complaints about how YA fiction portrays things that could be construed as sending the wrong message to readers about what is acceptable behavior. I suppose this depends on what you consider acceptable behavior. In my opinion, love interests watching you without your consent from your bedroom window is unromantic and borderline illegal. But the real question is do we actually believe people take social cues from what happens in a book? You could apply this to the multiple instances of underage drinking in YA novels. Does that make underage drinking seem less taboo or are these books just showing it like it is? I tend to think the latter, but maybe it's somewhat of a self-perpetuating cycle. Also, the whole virginity thing in TWENTY BOY SUMMER. People have wildly different views on how you should approach this issue, but the fact of the matter is, average age for first-time sex is 17 in the US. To me, it's just a number, no positive or negative conclusions about the moral state of America. I don't really care about whether you should "save it" or "get rid of it" or whatever, because obviously, everyone believes something different. My opinion: I think virginity is an antiquated social construct, and I've never really understood why it's so objectified. As long as you're safe and smart and you know what you want, then go ahead and do what you want.

I'm not saying these things because I want you to agree with me, but I'm just wondering whether YA books should be construed as life lessons or simply representations of what happens in the life of the average teenager. For example, if a character decides it is imperative to her social life to ditch her virginity ASAP, is this a message telling girls to go do stupid things like not use protection, form pregnancy pacts with their friends, and bonk any random hobo on the street, sobriety optional? omg, please do not do any of these things if you value your health/dignity/sanity/life at all. Or is this just reflecting what girls basically think today anyway?

What is our primary obligation as authors? Is it to entertain, to influence, or to truthfully portray? Or can we do all three? I think it depends, but I want to know what you think.

*So here was where I was going to put a picture of a typical college party with the caption "this happens," but then I googled "college party" and nothing that came up was even remotely appropriate. So yeah. Just imagine that picture. And that caption.*

Stuck and Handling It Poorly

2011-03-20T22:02:00.000-07:00

It's spring break, and Central Illinois never fails in surprising me with how completely, utterly, unsalvageably boring it is. I guess this doesn't matter a whole lot, because the point of my spring break was to study for the LSAT and I'm doing that. It's probably better that I'm not distracted.

Unfortunately, it is nobody else's spring break. Therefore, the only person I am spending time with is myself, and I have reached the somewhat alarming conclusion that I am not that interesting of a person to spend time with. How sad is that; I mean, it's not like I can get rid of myself. I should probably learn to be more entertaining. This is what I have done in two days:

1) Taken 2 full-length LSAT practice tests.
2) Eaten all of the girl scout cookies and chocolate left in the snack cabinet.
3) Driven around town 5 times to kill time.
4) Renewed my scholarship money.
5) Went to the library.
6) Read. A lot.
7) Painted my nails. Twice. I now own Justin Bieber nail polish. Didn't know Justin Bieber has a nail polish collection? SURPRISE. Okay, seriously though, why would he market a product that he CAN'T USE? Unless manly nail polish is a new thing, idk. maybe I'm just not "with it" these days. Don't worry; I'm judging myself harder than you're judging me.
8) Overheard at least 3 groups of people initiate conversation with the question, "Have you heard that song Friday by Rebecca Black?"
9) Prevented myself from strangling said people, strangling myself, and bursting into laughter and/or tears.
10) I have actually watched this video over 15 times, just from being around people who are playing it, or being incredibly bored at 2 am.
11) Had a super awkward conversation with my mom about not becoming an alcoholic because "I have alcoholic tendencies in my genes." I don't know why this even came up. And sex. All my favorite things to converse about with my mother.*

What I haven't done is move forward with my manuscript because I'm stuck on this one scene, and I don't know how to move past it. I've re-plotted, re-written, and now I'm thinking about doing The One Thing I Never Do. Write out of order. Ugh, it grosses me out even considering it. I hate the idea of writing some scenes before others. I feel like the emotional continuity and character development won't be the same if I jump around. But I might never move on if I sit here and overanalyze the same moment over and over again.

Do you write out of order? If so, how do you go about doing it?

*"Did you see in the news that Obama went to Brazil? They like him in Brazil. That's where his father is from, right? Wait, you mean Brazil isn't in Africa?" -- MY MOTHER. God bless her soul.

GTFO, JBiebs. My fingernails feel violated.

Ooh La La: Anna and the French Kiss

2011-03-08T16:19:00.000-08:00

There are two kinds of great books in this world. There are books you think about for a long time after they're over. Then, there are books that take you on a wild ride and you walk away at the end with a smile on your face and without looking back. ANNA AND THE FRENCH KISS is the second kind.

The boy. Okay, so take all of the characteristics you would possibly want in a fictional love interest. Good hair? Check. Foreign? Check. British accent? Check. Likes to read? Check. Add them all together and what you get is Étienne St. Clair. But luckily, Étienne isn't just a mashup of different things girls like. The whole is greater than the sum of the parts. That's what's great about him. Even though I never caught myself swooning over his character while reading, I could appreciate that he was a real person who did frustratingly annoying things that pissed me off and could win my forgiveness in the next few pages. He is a great example of how an author can create a love interest that isn't a typical one-dimensional smoldering, mysterious boy. I hate smoldering, mysterious boys because in real life, they translate into being creepy stalkers. Étienne is nice. He is deserving of the main character's adoration. Nice boys don't get enough credit these days.

The girl. Anna, Anna, Anna. She is the perfect girl I would want to follow for an adventure like this. She is awesome. She has life goals! She hates things! She loves things! The best thing about Anna Oliphant is every girl can see a little bit of herself in Anna, but not because Anna's personality is a blank slate. She crackles to life on the page. It's so great to read. I admit, I found myself getting annoyed when she overanalyzes everything about Étienne and Toph. Really, I thought. Do we spend that much time thinking about what one particular boy says? Oh wait ... um, YES. I couldn't be mad at her after that because she was basically doing exactly what I do. All of her thoughts absolutely aligned with what I think on a daily basis in response to boys. She's a little insecure, and yeah, she does stuff that doesn't make sense. She is definitely in the wrong at some points. But like I would a friend, I forgave her. Because she is only being human and real, and that's what being seventeen is all about.

The story. Stephanie Perkins made a relatable high school story and then put it in Paris. That's all I have to say. The scenes ring perfectly true. The dialogue is excellent without trying too hard to be "hip." I could sympathize with all of the situations. Getting tired of being home while on break. Taking care of incoherent drunk boys (luckily, nobody has ever thrown up ON me). Stupid love triangles between friends. Being an asshole. Having someone be an asshole to me. I think Stephanie is secretly a teenage girl masquerading as a married 29-year-old. Or maybe she is just very young at heart.

The place. Like Anna, I fell in love with the streets of Paris, all those vintage book stores, historical cathedrals, and delicious crêperies. I mean, you couldn't find a better setting to place your story in. I loved it. The setting was practically its own character here and I was just as thrilled to explore it as I was the relationships and actual story. And when Anna went home for winter break and found herself wishing she were back in Paris, I was wishing right there with her.

So ultimately, this isn't a book that makes you think much, but why should it? ANNA AND THE FRENCH KISS took me out of central Illinois and a crappy, busy schedule, and dropped me in the city of love for a delightful romp that I was sad to see end. That's all you can really ask for in a book.

LiLa Hits The Town

2011-03-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

Today is March 1. You know what's up.

Lisa and Laura Roecker's new book, THE LIAR SOCIETY, hits bookshelves today. Champagne and twizzlers all around! Get yourself a copy now.

Seriously. I'll wait.

Check out this review from Kirkus:

Secret societies dominate a posh co-educational private school in this suspenseful, possibly supernatural mystery. One or both of those societies may be responsible for the death of a girl, or so 15-year-old Kate believes. Kate's best friend, Grace, was killed in a fire under mysterious circumstances a year earlier. When she gets an e-mail from her dead friend, Kate believes Grace is asking for justice and begins to investigate what really happened. The Roeckers populate the school with the standard drop-dead handsome rich guys and a few supermodel-style girls, but Kate finds herself more attracted to dangerous, scruffy Liam. Then there's her annoying next-door neighbor, nerdy Seth, who has an obvious crush on her. Despite the difficulties they cause, the two help her so much that at last she enlists them in her quest. Tension mounts when the trio finds secret areas in the school and starts to track down who was really responsible on the night of the fire. A final confrontation solves the mystery, but can Kate really bring the culprit to justice? And is Grace's ghost really haunting her? The authors create lively and memorable characters and keep the action moving in their lengthy whodunit; Kate's interest in Latin adds an educational element. Clearly, the Roeckers had fun writing their story. Young mystery lovers may enjoy it just as much.

Kirkus likes it, and Kirkus almost never likes anything.

I should read this book instead of studying for my Latin test today, because Kate might be able to teach me better Latin than I am capable of teaching myself right now. If I'm going to fail, at least I should fail in style. As in, with pink hair.

Also, before I go all sentimental, Lisa and Laura were among the first people I started following when I started blogging TWO YEARS AGO and they're still here, writing funny things, giving back, and generally being awesome. I'm so happy and thrilled for their success. If you want to join the party, check out their blog, where I hear they are giving away some free copies? Who says no to free things, really. You should probably go. Like right now.

Happy debut day!

Pink hair means business, yo.

A Different Kind of Worldbuilding

2011-02-24T14:37:00.000-08:00

I'm reading about Anna's adventures in Paris, and what what I love this book so much (no overhyping, must not overhype before I get to the end). This book appeals to all of my secret or not-so-secret girly girl tendencies. Plus ... PARIS. I have a sneaking suspicion that Stephanie Perkins of the Blue Hair is actually a genius. Because what kind of girly girl doesn't want to read a book set in PARIS? Do I romanticize places I have never been to? You bet your bottom dollar I do. Plus, Etienne is an American with a British accent who speaks French? Really, Blue Hair? Please find a more pleasing combination of nationalities; really, I think you're slacking. Try harder.

I need to finish this book, like ASAP, before I ruin any reason to write a review.

But all of this talk of exotic places (aka Europe) is making me wonder about worldbuilding. Not the fantastical kind of worldbuilding, because that's fun and easy. What the hey, I am going to throw a dinosaur-and-lollipop-themed restaurant here because I'm the Creator and I want to. Bam. No, I'm talking about creating a setting that already exists. Like Paris. Did you know that Stephanie Perkins had never actually stepped foot in France before writing ANNA AND THE FRENCH KISS? However, she is so good at writing Paris that it's almost unfair.

Guess where I'm not right now? Here. Paris. I'm not here. Sadface.

Okay, so apparently, it is fair, because she did epic amounts of research for months on end, reading up on French history and architecture and basically anything and everything French Can you tell I have done a thorough job of stalking her blog?. Her work shows.

In the meantime, THE FOREVER CITY is set in Washington D.C. I have been there before. But I'm no native. I don't know where anything is, not without a map. Outside of the main city, I am totally clueless. So how important is it that I go all gung-ho and make my portrayal of D.C. convincing? Do I have to research like Stephanie Perkins? I don't think I have her work ethic. Is it okay if I just make up random places, or do I have to place the Wal-Mart on the right street? I have this semi-irrational fear that people will read what I write and be like, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, THIS IS NOT RIGHT, YOU FRAUD. And okay. D.C. is in the United States and Paris is French, so it obviously is much more different than your average American city.

What do you think? Have you ever written a story set in a real place that you've never been to before?

Guess what? I'm also not here. Moar sadface.

THIS SONG MAKES ME HAPPY. Besides the grammatical error in the title.

Likes and Gripes

2011-02-21T16:27:00.000-08:00

This was just going to be a post of gripes, but I decided that kind of negativity wasn't going to get me anywhere. So we have this.

LIKES

1) The idea of my senior thesis. Right now, I'm knee-deep in figuring out the logistics and research proposal. I'm also looking for my thesis adviser, which is a lot like looking for a literary agent if you think about it. I'm searching for someone who cares about me, is excited about my project, and is willing to give me good feedback. I want to find a professor who meshes with my personality and responds promptly. I mean, some people might be okay with having a professor who doesn't e-mail back for over a week, but I'm a needy person who wants a hands on adviser to tell me when I'm slacking, make me work hard, and be there when I need help.

So really, looking for an adviser is a lot like dating. I'm doing a blitz this week around the history department and seeing who's right for me. Although finding an adviser is a big, year-long commitment, I'm feeling optimistic because the history professors at my university are total sweethearts, every one of them. They make me feel so loved. Plus, this is the first time I actually get to write about whatever I want and not being forced to write about Africa (specifically the rise and fall of Pan-Africanism in the Gold Coast from 1940 — 1960; tell me that doesn't make your hair stand on end in excitement). I know people who love African history. I'm not that person.*

2) Coffee. The fuel that writers and students run on, and the only thing that is keeping me alive right now.

3) Winning at ICPA. That's right. We took home 29 awards, the most of any college newspaper there, and we were named 1st place in General Excellence the 2nd year in a row. I'm a part of a pretty sweet staff. Not to mention, awesome weekend. I love Chicago.

4) Pampering myself. I know the employees at Walgreens judge me when I go to the store to buy ice cream and fashion magazines, but you know what? Sometimes you need to reward yourself with Ben & Jerry's and trashy sex articles, okay. Especially after you do Serious Reading about UN Secretary Generals and spend your Sunday night/early Monday morning trying desperately to understand why the Annales school of history even exists.

GRIPES

1) Actually doing my senior thesis. You know, it sounds all sophisticated and great to be sitting in the library and reading giant volumes on Woodrow Wilson and Teddy Roosevelt, waxing eloquent about the dying moments of idealism and romanticism, while hoping that cute history major** with the glasses will come over to talk to you, maybe ask you out for a cup of coffee, and then you can be gloriously geeky together forever while traveling the Mediterranean and gathering artifacts for The Greatest Historical Breakthrough Ever. But really, this is all a very far off pipe dream. Having to write a research proposal is not fun. It is even less fun hoping your proposal isn't so unrealistic or dumb that you get laughed out of the department. It becomes downright depressing thinking about all of the time you have to spend in the Main Stacks, getting lost among the floors of socialist history that are all in Russian and getting smashed by the moving bookcases. When you think about the grants to apply for due in less than a month, the recommendations you need to get the grants, and the 60+ pages of history you need to turn out to be judged by professors -- well, that just makes you want to jump ship now to another major.

Except, the only thing that is less attractive than doing all this, is being a fifth year senior.

2) The money I spend on coffee. Why is it so expensive to stay awake?

3) Not writing. This makes me sad. One day when the weather gets warm, I'm going to give the world the middle finger for four hours and go to the public library where the walls are glass, the smoothies are delicious, and nobody talks to me for an entire afternoon. And I can just write.

4) The LSAT. This is going to be a gripe until June 6, 2011 at approximately 4 p.m.

5) Responsibility. I guess you can never really escape this. But it seems, at this point in my life, like everything I do has giant repercussions on my future. For once, I'd like to be truly, actually irresponsible, and not have it screw anything up. I'm not talking little things, like going out on weekends and waking up not remembering the night before. In the grand scheme of things, the most you lose in that scenario is some brain cells and a piece of your dignity (unless you did something in that memoryless span of time that will actually mess things up big time, like rob a bank or get pregnant). I am, on the whole, an extremely conscientious person who has ambitious goals, likes school and work, and looks toward the future. I have never felt like this was a bad thing. Most people would like to have already planned out their life to the extent I have. I don't know if it's a mid-college crisis or what, but I feel like it would be great if I could take advantage of the fact that I have no one dependent on me and do hugely stupid things just to do them. Instead of always doing things that will make the future better or easier.

And yes. This is a spoiled rich kid problem if I ever saw one.

*I learned a lot, despite working on something I didn't want to do. My senior thesis would be THAT MUCH harder if I didn't have to do this preliminary class on Africa, which required a 25-page research paper. And as always, my professor was super cool, and I adored him. So there are benefits to being forced upon academic projects.

**LOLOLOL those don't exist. Either major hipsters/socially incompetent/faux intellectuals or total bros who needed a course of study to set them on their life goals of being douchey lawyers. I can say this on good authority because I am a history major.

Self-Centered Word Vomit

2011-02-17T01:12:00.000-08:00

Otherwise known as, filler post where I talk about random things. Like Randomosity by Krispy, except I feel cheap just mooching that title from her. Things I need to tell you but cannot write an entire post on:

1) I finished THE AMBER SPYGLASS! It was spectacular. Really, some of the passages near the end made me weep enviously of their sheer beauty. And other times, I was weeping because it was sad and it broke my heart into itty, bitty pieces. I was sitting in my apartment in between classes just crying my eyes out. Dumb, because I had just put on makeup. I tend to put on makeup for the most inappropriate things like going to see Toy Story 3. Bad idea. Just. Really bad idea. So here is my warning to you. Don't read this book with makeup on. Also, I am in desperate need of talking about this book, but my friend who recommended the books "has exams to study for." Trololol college. what is college. I think my response was something remarkably caring and considerate like, "WELL TAKE THEM FASTER." Because he can do that, obviously.

2) I am really excited to start ANNA AND THE FRENCH KISS. Review upcoming. Promise. I'm trying not to overhype it for myself. You can tell that it's working well.

3) The fateful day has come. The Borders in my hometown is closing, the first casualty in the 30% cut corporate is making. I'm 99% sure that if the CEO of Borders saw my Facebook newsfeed and beheld the outpouring of grief from the citizens of Bloomington-Normal, he would reconsider his decision. The 1% of uncertainty I have is in the event the CEO is actually a raging asshole. So here's to you, Borders. I will always remember the times I spent inside your cozy walls. I love the random crap you sell during the holiday season, like chocolate covered bacon and bath products. I love the Seattle's Best Coffee you have. I loved that time you weren't poor and extended your holiday hours to 1 a.m. and you still had to kick me and my friends out at closing time. I love the sale racks in the front of the store and the giant shrine to Twilight in the YA section. I love how my friends and I made a parody video of "Christmas Shoes" on your front doorstep. I love how your lights are warmer and friendlier than Barnes and Noble's lights. I love your carpet. I love your patterned ceiling. I love the way your shelves are organized and how I know where my favorite books are. I love how you are basically home. I love you, Borders. I will drink to your memory. Not tequila, because you're way better than that. Something quality. And I will boycott any store that dares try to set up shop in your place once you close. Nothing deserves the hallowed ground on which you stand. You'll always be in my heart.

4) I'm going to ICPA (Illinois College Press Association) Conference this weekend in Chicago with the other editors of my paper. Hotel rooms covered and everything. Best group of people I can imagine going with. So thrilled, especially as I'm not a journo major; this is a definite treat for me. Here's to hoping we win stuff. Although even if we don't, I know I work for the best independent student newspaper in the state of Illinois, in the country, and in the world. Booyah.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend! [Edit: Just realized it's probably confusing to say that, but since production for the daily paper I work at is Sun-Thurs, that's how my internal clock runs. I consider Fri-Sat to be my weekend.] And I hope your Borders is not closing like mine is RIP MY SOUL OUT WHY DON'T YOU.

Advice To Young Writers

2011-02-14T21:52:00.000-08:00

This is to Nobody426 and all of the young people who have contacted me from fanfiction.net asking for a beta and writing advice. You guys are so amazing to ask for feedback and to message other writers. That's REALLY brave, and not something I ever did at that age. I don't consider myself an authority, and I'm pretty young myself, but here's my best attempt at a response.

1) Read. A lot. All of the time. Read everything from magazine articles to historical romances to science fiction to the classics. None of it is wasted, I promise. The first thing to being a writer is not writing. It's reading. You can hone your craft for as long as you want, but you will not get better unless you're reading widely, and you're reading with purpose. Read YA, read kidlit, read adult fiction. Read good fiction. Read bad fiction. Read the New Yorker. Read Joyce Carol Oates. Read C.S. Lewis. Read short stories! Don't stick to things you think you'd like. I never, ever read chick lit until last summer, and then I realized I was missing out on writing styles I wasn't familiar with. Read books by men. Read books by women. There are two things you need to do when you read. One, you need to read to understand the craft. Look at how the author breaks scenes. Look at how dialogue is written. Pay close attention to how emotions are conveyed. Why do reading certain parts make you feel happy or sad? How does the author do that? Notice the pacing. Two, you need to read for pleasure. Do both. Not always at the same time. But always, do both.

2) Learn the rules. Get some books on writing. For starters, I like ON WRITING WELL (Sol Stein), PLOT & STRUCTURE (James Scott Bell), WRITING THE BREAKOUT NOVEL (Donald Maass), and BIRD BY BIRD (Anne Lamott). That pretty much covers your bases on good books on the craft of writing. For people who struggle with writing in its technical aspects, definitely invest in THE ELEMENTS OF STYLE (Strunk & White). Read these books. Learn the rules. Always "said" for dialogue tags. Start with action. Don't do info dumps. Avoid adverbs. Concise as possible; don't describe things you don't need to. Don't use stupid similes. Inciting incident needs to be within the first fourth of the novel. Learn the rules.

3) Break them. But you are not allowed to break the rules until you learn them. If you're breaking them, there has to be good reason. There can't be good reason unless you know what the rules are.

4) There are going to be people who tell you they know how to write a novel. Write in the morning. Write in the afternoon. Write 500 words a day. Write 2,000. Character-driven is best. No, plot-driven. Write when you're inspired! Butt-in-chair method every day gets it done! Spit out your first draft; edit later. Take your time. Outline. Don't outline. The point is, nobody has a godforsaken clue how to write a novel. This is something you discover on your own, by yourself. Whatever gets it done for you is how to do it.

5) This is obvious: Write. When I was little, I used to write at dinner parties my parents dragged me to with nothing but a notebook and a pencil -- the old fashioned way, kids. I used to write until the skin on my fingers had grooves and my hands hurt so bad I couldn't even hold dining utensils. I'm not saying you should hurt yourself in the process. I'm just saying, anything worth doing is worth doing until it hurts.

6) A lot of what you write is not going to be very good. Open those old notebooks of mine. Everything in them is TOTAL JUNK. I have a harrypotterfanfiction.com account with stories from when I was in junior high. Barring being held at gunpoint, I will not ever reveal what my user name was. Because everything is embarrassingly bad. There's a lot of embarrassingly bad stuff on my fanfiction.net account. But I still use it, so I can't hide anything. C'est la vie. Just know, you have write mountains of unusable ugliness before you get anything remotely okay. I don't regret anything I've posted, because every story I wrote taught me something new.

7) Don't let anyone make you stop. People used to say I was "so cute" when I was constantly scribbling in a notebook. What they were really thinking was, wow, this kid is a nutcase. She's probably going to end up wearing beanies, unemployed, smoking weed on street corners, and reciting shitty poetry to homeless people in New York. Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Writing is about you and who you are writing for. You are not writing for the cynics. The cynics don't deserve your awesomeness anyway. Someone once told me teenagers didn't have enough life experience to write. Someone was an idiot. Don't listen to someone. You are never too young to start writing. America could use a lot more kids who want to write. Don't be that kid in college who can't even string together a decent sentence for a Letter to the Editor. Seriously, don't be that kid or I'll be the one sitting behind the computer screen, making sure you don't sound like a dumbass to the public, and judging you.

You should hang out at Write On Teens and read Ten Rules For Writing Fiction (from various authors). You should check out the blogs of authors you love. I suggest Gail Carson Levine, because she has lovely writing advice. And because she's lovely. I also like Maureen Johnson, because she's hilarious and one day I will be her best friend (meaning, one day I will be Libba Bray, the coolest woman I have never met). Probably Stephanie Perkins, whose book I have not read yet, but I've already decided she must be a pretty cool lady too because she has the best blue hair dye job I have ever seen.

Finally, I know it's not "hip" or whatever to write or tell people you're an unpublished writer. But a) your real friends will think you're cool no matter how actually strange you are and b) anyone else is not your friend. You will learn that people who are not your friends are not worth your time.

Thank you for reading, reviewing, and favoriting. You are -- wherever and whoever you are -- always welcome to message me. No matter where you go or who you meet, I hope you keep writing.

Hey, I Read

2011-02-08T21:23:00.000-08:00

Since Borders is going bankrupt soon,* and I have a full year of Borders plus membership left, I have been splurging on books lately. I have found that reading is a good warm-up for writing. I like to establish a routine that gets me ready to write, because opening up the word document and starting right away is hard. So usually, I will read a chapter or two of a novel before I start writing. And voila! Forty-five minutes of wasted time on Facebook and various blogs have been eliminated. (Usually; this is no guarantee because I have zero self-control.) I HAVE to do this. I have no time to be screwing around. I'm snatching writing time in between classes and work and LSAT practice and homework and being social, so it's not like I have those nice four hour blocks of time I did freshman year.

These are the books I am currently working on/are in line to be read.

[THE AMBER SPYGLASS] If you have been paying attention, I've had this book on my nightstand for a while, but that is because this book is SO GOOD I am actually having pre-withdrawal symptoms. I'm avoiding finishing it for that reason. This is super pathetic, I'm aware. Anyway, I'm rationing chapters so that I can drag it out for as long as possible. I know this will only last until page 300 or so, and then I will be so consumed with curiosity that I'll probably end up barreling through it in an hour. This is what happens most of the time. I will try to keep my thoughts to myself and not bombard people with texts as I go through it. When I get excited about books, I stream-of-consciousness anyone in my contact list who has even vaguely heard of the book I'm reading. Trust me. Everyone hated me when THE LAST OLYMPIAN came out, because I stopped after every two chapters to text things like, "why is percy so awesome, omgomgomg" like a hormonal, pre-pubescent girl to my friends.

The cover. It has spoilers. I disapprove of this edition, but it looks pretty.

[ANNA AND THE FRENCH KISS] I don't like chick lit, most of the time. But I have on good authority that this book is awesome from many, many different sources, so I am really excited to give it a try. Seriously, everyone loves this book. This is the book that is supposed to keep my heart from breaking into a million pieces when I finish THE AMBER SPYGLASS. The author of ANNA, Stephanie Perkins (whose writing blog I stalked for about two hours last week, nbd nbd), has blue hair. Like, good blue hair. I'm-cool blue hair, not I'm-trying-hard-to-be-hipster blue hair. She loves, "swashbuckling adventures, mocha lattes, fairy tales, loud music, neighborhood walks, jasmine tea, and afternoon naps. And kissing." Wow, no way, I love all of those things too! We can be friends, Stephanie Perkins. After I finish reading your book, so that my blog-creeping is no longer considered stalking, but fangirling. That's more socially acceptable.

I can't see the face of the guy (Etienne St. Clair), but I bet he's hot.

What a sexy shoulder/exposed wrist.

[TWENTY BOY SUMMER] I am on a chick lit roll! I never planned on buying or reading this book, but -- no exaggeration -- I've come across this book at least five times in the last three months. It shows up in my Amazon recommendations (why?!), and I see it in different places every time I go to Borders. I am forced to conclude that either God wants me to read this book or Sarah Ockler has an incredibly stealthy/pushy ~~ninja~~ marketing team. Fate has foisted this book into my lap, and thus, I shall read it. Plus check out that cover!

It looks like a heart made out of melted blue jolly ranchers!

How do I know what those look like?

THAT'S HOW. My friends and I made these for New Years.

Melted blue jolly ranchers, ftw.

Let's be honest. If a boy made a heart out of melted blue jolly ranchers for me, I would be his for life. Don't judge my low standards. Also, I like books about boys and death, which is what this book is about, apparently. No, it is not about killing twenty boys in one summer, although that would be kind of a cool premise too.

Books you are reading? More suggestions welcome!

*If Borders goes bankrupt, I will be homeless. Fact. Taking donations now.

Teaser Day-That-Does-Not-Alliterate

2011-02-04T23:05:00.000-08:00

I must keep up my goal of blogging twice a week! Unfortunately, I am sick, uncreative, and have approximately 258 tons of homework. And I watched Letters to Juliet instead of attempting to start it.* So even though I practically never share excerpts from my WIPs on my blog (idk, it's kind of intimidating when it's just a first draft), I will today. New Years Resolutions still a go!

Below is part of a scene from THE FOREVER CITY. Quick recap: Clare's mother dies in the beginning, and her half-sister Emma (30 years old, from her father's previous marriage) helps around the house following the funeral until the family can transition back to a state of normalcy. Clare and her sister Bree got two weeks off school after the funeral, and now they are preparing to return. Okay, go.

Tomorrow is school. It’s weird. As mad as Clare has been about Dad keeping them away from school, tonight her stomach is doing somersaults at the thought of going back. By now, everyone will know what’s happened. She’s had her cell phone off since Mama’s funeral. But she has to face it sooner or later.

She tells herself this as she and Emma take turns reading pages from Mystical Creatures. Reading to Bree is another way Emma tries to feel useful. Even though Clare was thinking this would be a nice two-sister bonding activity, she can’t begrudge Emma her need for usefulness. Clare has been feeling useless the past few days too. Maybe school will make her feel useful again.

When they shut the door behind them softly, after doing all of the goodnight kisses and tucking in, Emma exhales as if she were holding her breath the whole time in Bree’s room and says, “Too young.” Clare says nothing. Go away, she thinks. The pity crawls up and down her skin, almost makes her sick. At that moment, she hates Emma. Then Emma turns around and pats her on the arm. The anger clunks to a halt and evaporates immediately, and Clare feels cold and tired. She’s mad at her father for being empty and mad at Emma for being sympathetic. Unreasonable.

“So are you ready for school tomorrow?” Emma asks.

Clare thinks about her backpack that she already filled with notebooks. There are freshly sharpened pencils and a new pack of pens in the side pockets. This afternoon, she tucked the explanation for absence her father wrote in his scrawling, unmistakable handwriting in the front flap. She had folded it in half and in half again. Everything is in the right place. “No,” she replies bluntly.

“I thought not. Do you want to talk about it?”

While Clare can be appreciative of Emma’s gung-ho attitude about being the responsible adult, there are times when it gets annoying. Like now. Do I want to shove splinters under my fingernails, is really the question this amounts to. Talking is what people do when they go to therapists, and Clare imagines a therapist might have better things to say than a half-sister who has been gone for seventeen-odd years of her life. “Um, no,” she says. “Not really.”

Emma sits down at the dinner table. Reluctantly, Clare sits down across from her. “If you are really stressed out about school tomorrow, I can tell Dad about it and…”

“No thanks,” Clare says quickly. She has to go back, whether tomorrow or a month from now. Tomorrow will be bad, but a month from now would be infinitely worse. Clare has learned that things are best dealt with quickly. Procrastination is just not her style. She quells the shaking in her throat. “I just have to do it, you know? Get it over with. Move on.” God, could she sound any stupider?

Emma looks at her, the shadows accentuating the hollows of her eyes and making her look much older. “Okay,” she says finally. “You’ve been very brave this whole time. I just want you to know”—she looks up at the ceiling and Clare thinks incredulously, holy cow, is she crying?—“I feel horrible for not trying to contact you before. Before everything, I mean. I’m a bad sister, I know.”

“You’re – you’re not a bad sister,” Clare says, but she sounds unconvincing, even in to her own ears. “It’s just the way things happen.” Stop, please stop, she pleads silently. Stop crying. She has never been equipped to deal with a situation like this, when older people cry. Regardless of the alarming frequency of times it’s happened since Mama’s accident, she’s never gotten better at handling weeping adults. It makes her want to crawl out of her bones and escape.

It’s a good thing when Emma reaches her hand across the table and grabs Clare’s hand, squeezes it briefly and lets go. “I want you to know if you need someone to talk to, I’m going to be here. I’m going to be a better sister from now on. I want to be helpful and I at least want to be here. You might not want to talk to me now, and I understand completely if you don’t, but when you’re ready, I will be too.”

Clare stares at the chandelier – has it always hung that low? She shakes off the discomfort. “You are being helpful,” she says.

“Can I at least drive you to school? Just for tomorrow?” Emma sounds like she’s begging. Clare wonders just exactly who is doing the favor for whom; she can drive, after all. But refusing this offer seems like it would seriously hurt Emma’s feelings, as backward as that is.

“That’s fine. Yeah.” Emma wipes her eyes on her sleeve and relaxes into a watery smile. “I’ll pick you up at seven-thirty?”

She thinks about how Mama used to drive her to school before she got her license and is sure she’s not going to enjoy the ride over. She doesn’t have to do this, another way to let Emma feel useful. She’s on the verge of saying this out loud.

“Sure,” is what she actually says.

Another thing to dread on top of school itself.

*It was worth it. As are all of my endeavors to procrastinate in college.

**I need to point out that it took me half an hour to correctly format this post. Technology = +10000, XiXi = 0, maybe even -5.

***Now I ACTUALLY have to go write my paper on Thomas Paine and political history now. Rahhhhhhhhh. Facebook stalking can only waste so much time.

Black History Month! And Stuff.

2011-02-01T14:38:00.000-08:00

Today is February 1st. As you may have heard in the news, it is SNOWPOCALYPSING outside here and I attend the Only Major University In Illinois to not declare a snow day. Thanks, administration; keep up the fail. Look, I'm an Illinoisan for life, so I can deal with shitty, inclement weather. But it's not just snowing outside. It's snowhailwintrymixing -- small pebble-like pellets of Midwestern winter defecating on your life. And windy. So when you go outside, it literally feels like glass is being thrown in your face. I almost starting crying on the way home from class. Ouch.

More importantly, it is the kickoff of Black History Month, so I'm going to take this opportunity to talk a bit about African-Americans in literature. That segue. It was great, I know. This is brief and the issues of people of color (POC) in fiction are long and complicated, but I'm not African-American and don't feel completely qualified to give expert opinions on this topic. (In May, when it's Asian-Pacific-American Heritage Month, I'll be doing a weekly post on Asian-Americans in literature and society.)

POC are clearly underrepresented in fiction, and I have to admit, the list I came up with this post of books I've read in this area is sadly limited. That's my fault. But I don't think it would be too much of a false accusation to say YA publishers are not eager to put out books with POC. There have been many recent incidents of cover white-washing, the most publicized being LIAR by Justine Larbalestier, and now, even complaints of ACROSS THE UNIVERSE by Beth Ravis is getting buzz for its subtly photoshopped cover (the ARC apparently featured a more ethnic-looking profile). Cover white-washing is unacceptable.* It makes me sick. The prevailing reason for it -- POC books don't sell/bad economics -- is 100% shit. The old South said they couldn't get rid of slavery because their economy would crumble without it. Sorry, racism can't be justified by the economy; couldn't be back then and can't be now.

So without further ado, these are books I've read and enjoyed with POC.

1) UNCLE TOM'S CABIN by Harriet Beecher Stowe. "The little lady who started the great war" has written an enduring classic, my favorite classic, actually. I read it when I was ten. The vocabulary and colloquialisms were tough, but it was SO worth it. This is the only classic to date that has brought me to laughter and tears. It's masterfully written and should be required reading for everyone. I honestly can't believe Pride and Prejudice is more required than this book. Travesty, I say. It's a splendid, moving read, full of devastating historical momentum and emotion. Please, if you only read one more book in your life, go read this one. You won't regret it.

2) BLACK ANGELS by Rita Murphy. An older book, this is set in the summer of 1961 in Georgia. Historical, with perfect touches of magic realism, this is a book about discovering your roots, having the courage to stand up for something when everyone else disagrees, and what happens when you are not who you thought you were. The main character, Celia, is wonderful, and her struggle with learning about a side of the family she didn't know is real and affecting. I highly recommend it. It's beautiful to read, all around.

3) ALLIGATOR BAYOU by Donna Jo Napoli. My favorite author makes an appearance on this list. The main character, Calogero, is Sicilian and not black. But this is a book set in the Deep South, and it tells a story about race, what makes someone "not white" and the multi-faceted tensions between races in the post-slavery South. It's based on a true, horrifyingly unspeakable event, which is what makes the ending even more unforgettable. The second I turned the last page, I immediately went to find out more about the circumstances this book is based on. So will you. I love this book, from every loaded scene to every carefully considered word.

Others, equally awesome:

DAY OF TEARS Julius Lester

OTHELLO Julius Lester

LIAR Justine Larbalestier

THEIR EYES WERE WATCHING GOD Zora Neale Hurston

BELOVED Toni Morrison

ROLL OF THUNDER, HEAR MY CRY Mildred D. Taylor

Anything by Toni Morrison, Zora Neale Hurston (some excellent short stories, definitely check those out), or Maya Angelou is recommended. This is a nice link for more authors of color. Look around the Internet. There are plenty more links where that came from.

And YOU. The world is full of different colors, and books should be too! Don't write your stories monochromatic.

*99.99999999999% of the time, the cover!fails are not the author's fault. It's the marketing department or whoever decided to make the cover. As we all know, authors get little to no input in their own covers. Just to clarify. Not faulting any of the authors listed for cover scandals.

On Boys, Love, and Sex

2011-01-25T22:29:00.000-08:00

[Okay, big kid mature topics coming up. Also, this post is extremely heterosexual-centric, but that's because I am currently not writing any gay characters, so I'm focusing this strictly on the work I'm doing with my WIP.]

Last week, I sent the first 12,000 words of THE FOREVER CITY to a beta reader for a critique, just so I could get a feel of whether the story was starting off on the right foot. Was it appealing? Did it have potential? I got the critique back yesterday, and I am completely awesome-ed out by it. I purposely sent it to someone I don't know personally, because I wanted a brutal, honest evaluation. The beta sent back plenty of comments, and of course, it needs work in some areas. But overall? Looks like a definite thumbs up, so I'm thrilled about that. Best areas: world building (always a concern of mine), characterization, emotional impact (Clare's mother dies at the very beginning, so the fact that the reader can feel Clare's grief is important), and voice. Yay, all good things.

One thing that stuck out to me the most about the criticism was that Clare gets the reader right away, but Adrien, the boy MC who tells half of the story, didn't trigger the beta's interest until several thousand words later. I mulled this over in my head all day, and I think I know why.

I don't get boys.

First off, please read this if you ever intend on writing YA boy characters. I recently finished AFTER THE MOMENT by Garret Freymann-Weyr, which features a boy MC. The author is a woman. And as you can see from her post, she did a little research before she delved into this character. I highly recommend AFTER THE MOMENT for anyone who appreciates beautiful writing and doesn't mind a slower plot. [Genre: literary.] This is the author of STAY WITH ME, easily the best book I read in 2010 and possibly one of the best books I've ever read. She does a fantastic portrayal of a teenaged boy. He is neither an idiot nor a girl's chick lit fantasy. He is real. This is my own opinion, of course, and I'm a girl. Maybe a boy would read this and be like, wtf, this is not how boys are at all. But I enjoyed it. I liked reading about a boy who seems authentic, uncensored, rather than one who is hell-bent on tossing romantic gestures left and right and being the knight in shining armor.

Adrien doesn't click at once, possibly because I'm writing my idea of a boy instead of what boys are really like. I intrinsically know Clare, know how she thinks, what she feels, what she is afraid of, what she loves, what she hates, the way she responds to situations. I am always trying to figure out Adrien.

I don't get boys.

I haven't grown up in a convent or anything. ~~Personal information HO! Here it comes~~ I've dated boys, although I've never had what I'd consider a serious relationship. I have friends who are boys, although they probably sanitize their behavior and words around me. I am not friends with jackass boys, of which there are plenty in college. I do have some measure of self-esteem. If a boy treats me like shit, he is BAM out of my life in two seconds flat. I don't fall for "bad boys" or whatever is the hot thing in YA paranormal chick lit nowadays. Being mysteriously douchey is not attractive to me. Be intelligent; treat me with admiration and respect. Do not try to make out with me drunkenly on dance floor of a reeking bar. No means no, guys! That is my baseline consideration for boys. All in all, this is what I believe I deserve, but not necessarily how all boys are at this age. Or ever.

But. The big but. I can't say I've fallen in love. In order to fall in love, I generally think it's a prerequisite to be in a stable relationship with someone. So that too, makes it hard to understand boys. I've read so many books about girls falling in love. Yet I rarely read books with boys falling in love. What do boys think about love? About girls? About sex? On one hand, I have this impression that all boys think about is getting in your pants. You live on a college campus, this is not a hard conclusion to come to. This is also what 90% of people* will tell you about boys. They're go-getters. They're aggressive. They're highly sexualized and can't control their impulses (which is bullshit, by the way; stop making excuses for rapists). They Just Want Sex, Okay?

I am trying to reconcile this belief with the real boys I know. Who are not assholes. Who don't try to coerce you into doing things you are uncomfortable with. Who act like girls are people and not pieces of ass. But yes, it must be possible that they are also just thinking about getting into another girl's pants. I suppose I am lucky that I know many of the thoughtful boys, Freymann-Weyr refers to in her post. And I do have very high opinions of all of the boys I know. Otherwise I wouldn't associate myself with them. Obviously. You can probably tell from my post that I have high standards, and that is not always a positive thing. It means I'm frequently demanding and probably also high-maintenance, as much as I'd like to think I'm not. But anyway, "thoughtful" does not mean "asexual," and who am I to know what is going on inside a boy's head at all times? And well -- girls think about sex too. So there's that.

I DON'T GET BOYS.

Mainly, I think it's hard these days to write a book with a boy who is a boy without being the boy that girls want him to be. Still, the rewards of writing a real boy who makes mistakes, isn't a genius and isn't an idiot but somewhere in between, are great. Just like all girls are different, boys need to be defined by themselves and not by the girls around them.

The beta reader added that the novel kicks off with Clare battling for emotional survival, while Adrien is really having an existential crisis about his existence -- probably not as immediately gripping as Clare's storyline, although his half picks up quickly. Perhaps this is an issue of starting a scene too early when I need to cut to when the action starts Right Away. In any case, I still don't get boys, and this is probably something I should figure out before I can convincingly put a boy on a page and expect him to grab readers.

On the other hand, I think I can count the male readers of this blog on one hand, so this is not helping my case either.

PS I hit 15,000 words today on the manuscript. Am pleased and excited. I genuinely think this novel might be The One. And even if it's not, it's a pleasure to read and a pleasure to write. So that makes me happy. IF ONLY my job/school/LSAT weren't giving me the finger every other second, I'd be able to get more writing done.

*I hope you know that every percentage I will ever use in my posts are all random and made up.

The Most Important Thing I've Learned About Writing

2011-01-24T00:04:00.001-08:00

This is based on the post Weronika did about a week ago. And hers is much better than mine, so this is really an excuse for me to link to her post. Given that I've learned so much in the time between starting this blog (Feb. 09) and now, I can still say there is one thing that is the most important.

As a technical thing. Not as an existential writing-made-me-discover-my-true-self thing.

[Write in scenes.] Highlight. Underline. Italicize. Bold. Put it in Helvetica and tattoo it on your forehead. Backwards, so you can read it in the mirror in the morning.

I don't know why I was such an idiot that this took me so long to figure out, but this should be the first thing new writers learn. I wasn't even a new writer; I was just incredibly slow on the uptake. I wrote in chapters. To an outsider, this may seem like a logical thing to do; after all, most books are divided into chapters. People don't just straight shoot all the way through a novel without dividers (well -- now, I write in one document without chapter dividers because I don't write in chapters anymore). I used to wonder what the word count should be for a novel. This all seems ridiculous to me now, because a) who cares, it's not like the reader is keeping a mental tally of words per chapter and b) they're all different in every book anyway. Just looking at what's on my nightstand -- Her Fearful Symmetry has super short chapters. The Subtle Knife has really long chapters comparatively.

Because it used to be extremely difficult for me to imagine writing an entire novel, each chapter was like a benchmark, and I used it to measure my progress. I also didn't read like a writer. If I had done that, I would've noticed that writers don't mark out the passage of time in explicit words. Repeat: It is unnecessary to document every single waking moment of the MC.

If JK Rowling did that, each Harry Potter book would be unmanageable. None of us give a flying fuck about the days Harry wakes up, fails to brush his teeth, falls asleep in Potions, and then lounges around procrastinating on homework for the rest of the day. Replace Potions with Political Science, and you're basically living my life (Except, I brush my teeth, guise. I'm hygienic, I swear.) We care about the days he gets detention and has to go to the Forbidden Forest and see unicorns murdered and stuff. Other days? NOT IMPORTANT. And we're not massive dimwits. We don't need Jo writing in commentary like, "Then, two weeks and three days passed before this thing happened in Harry's life." No, we get it. This is fiction. We're not going to wonder what Harry was doing for those two weeks and three days. We're going to assume he spent it doing stupid, boring things. Even Chosen Ones have stupid, boring, bad hair days.

Not writing in scenes made me pack my novels with horrible filler. I was so afraid I wouldn't fill a scary word quota I created in my head. But you know what? Hannah Moskowitz writes first drafts that are 20,000 words. What the hell is a word quota? What gives me the idea that novels have to be exactly this--------long? And why are chapters going to get me there?

Scenes force you to be concise. You have to know why each scene is important. The scene has to have a beginning, middle, and end. It has to have a climax. It has to change something. If it doesn't do that, it has no right to exist. If you can write a great scene, consistently write great scenes, then you can write a good novel.

It's only unfortunate that it took me over a year to learn this simple thing.

When Life Decides To Punch You In The Eye

2011-01-19T14:04:00.000-08:00

I have an eye infection. Which would normally not be that big of a deal, but I don't have backup glasses right now and my prescription is -5.00 in one eye and -5.25 in the other, both with astigmatism. I'm using medicated eye drops, but I can't put in contacts. My glasses aren't coming in until next Tuesday. PROBLEM.

My right eye. I am also seeking The One Ring.

I am blind. My face is about six inches away from the screen typing this.

And this really irks me because I wanted to get my 2,000 words in this week, but there's no way I can stare at a computer screen for a prolonged amount of time without corrective lenses of some sort. I KNOW; I have great priorities. Cannot see = CANNOT WRITE. (I did get 1,100 already this week, so I guess it's not a total loss.) I finished The Subtle Knife as well, because let's face it, I can't do anything except cook and read -- holding the book right up to my face -- at my apartment.

But also, I'm going to have a hell of a time going to class and taking notes. Plus, I still have to work, and I do feel bad about this actually, because it means I can't help out a whole lot with copy editing. I can only supervise. And try not to run into anybody. Going to work in T minus one hour.

Okay, so maybe the first picture was a SLIGHT exaggeration.

This is pretty realistic, though. The facial expression as well.

Taking Breaks

2011-01-16T12:38:00.000-08:00

I'm kind of mad that I stopped writing last semester for a couple of months. Everyone needs a break once in a while, but it is so hard getting back into writing after having quit cold turkey for a while. It's like you forget how to sit there and tell your brain to shut up and let the characters talk. You feel mildly stupid staring at a blank document, waiting for the words to come forth. So that's where I am right now, trying to get back into the flow of looking past the words on the page and spinning a story.

I started The Fetching and realized it doesn't have the potential The Forever City does. It's too generic, and it doesn't allow me to explore the deeper themes I want. I reread TFC. It's amazing what you can see after putting something aside for a while. It's good. I mean, it may be one of the best things I've written, and I completely credit it to the fact that I approached it differently (well, also, it is the culmination of two years of intensive writing). I wrote slowly, not quickly. And I edited as I went; I wasn't spewing out words without direction, hoping to clean it up later. It's just too good for me to put aside. I do still feel passionate about this story. The more I think about it, the more ideas I get for it, and the more I think it has external and internal climax possibilities. It's really everything I've ever wanted in a novel to write. It's contemporary, it's urban fantasy, and it deals with the implications of immortality. It allows for world-building and creature-creation, but it is also deeply rooted in reality: the death of a loved one, generational differences, cultural struggles (the main character is half-Chinese), and choosing what's best for yourself versus choosing what's best for your family.

While I believe in the merits of going for a slower first draft (better quality), it's obvious that not maintaining some level of word count as progress doesn't work. Without a word count goal, I'm not planning ahead what days I can set aside for writing. When you're in college, studying for the LSAT, and working 20-30 hours a week, planning ahead is crucial if you want to get ANYTHING done. The 2,000 a week seems to be fairly reasonable right now. It's important for me to remember even if I don't accomplish the 2k/week goal every week (like I didn't this week, but it was editor training week, so eh), not to freak out about it. The main idea of the word count goal is to help me stay on track. Next week is a new week to up the word count, and last week will be past.

The Forever City

You Mean There Are Other Freaks Like Me?

2011-01-11T20:44:00.000-08:00

As of now, I have been fairly successful in my New Years Resolutions. I've thus far written 2,000 words per week. I'm blogging twice a week. I'm keeping up with my goal of 35 books this year. This may all change soon as I recently read this New York Times article, which is basically telling me my future consists of being overqualified, underemployed, and knee-deep in ~~shit~~ debt they are pretty interchangeable at this point. Better get working on that six-figure advance, eh? Jkjk, my life is one giant unattainable dream, trololol. Thanks, economy.

It is clear that I have not done a life confession lately, so it is high time I embarrass myself again on the blogosphere. Really, I need somewhere to spew my innermost dark secrets and I have to maintain somewhat of a facade of normality in real life because otherwise I would have no friends. And I like friends. Since I have never met most of you in real life, it's okay. Nothing to lose!

When I was younger, I used to fictionalize everything around me. I'd make people in my every day life characters in a fairy tale. In a royal court. Of course, that would mean I used to cast myself as the princess. I am aware this is unsalvageably weird. I would make up stories revolving around the court. I don't why. Life was just so much more interesting as a novel, with a beginning, a middle, and an end. And once I finished one story, I'd re-cast everyone and imagine something else. True story, pretending to be a princess got me out of my habit of slouching. It was the only way I could remind myself to stand straight, because princesses always had good posture. I used to have horrendous posture, and my mother would criticize me all the time.

Not this kind of princess. That would be too normal.

THIS kind of princess. Historical ones with lengthy titles.

I was a history major, even at a young age, I was.

Did I mention I used to think I was white too? Confession for another day.

So recently, I finished The Beautiful Between by Alyssa B. Sheinmel, and the recurring theme throughout the book is how the main character, Connelly, frames her high school as a royal court. And I was like, NO FUCKING WAY, I did that too! I don't know, maybe other people will read this book and think, wow, that girl is a complete freak, but I connected with her freakish ways. Sometimes, when you're sitting in class, you need to give your brain something to do to pass the time. And I was always obsessed with royalty.

Thanks for validating my life, Alyssa B. Sheinmel.

Sidenote: I have spent so much time trying to figure out why the f and e are italicized. Damn you, enigmatic cover designer.

This fairy-tale/princess concept definitely an interesting way of setting the book apart from other books set in high school. Although, it's no light-hearted read. It's one of those books about illness and death (don't want to spoil the specifics). Not super memorable for the ever-popular death genre; in fact, I'll probably forget all about it in a month, but it was a nice read, nonetheless. Something sober to curl up with on a snowy day.

The Lost Hero

2011-01-06T21:18:00.000-08:00

[Regularly scheduled posts to resume after lengthy, emotional rant.]

I am months late to this party. No, seriously, the book came out October 12, 2010 ahhh it's 2011 now, how weird is that?. I finally finished the book on Monday, so I've had a few days to mull it over and solidify my opinion. I held off on my reaction post on purpose so that it wouldn't look like a whole lot of senseless capslocking, flailing, and HULKSMASH. Well. I mean, there's still going to be a lot of that, but it'll be comprehensible, hopefully. But no guarantees.

The Heroes of Olympus!!1!1!!!!11

So yadda yadda yadda, this is not a review, and you should probably LOOK AWAY if you haven't read The Lost Hero and ever intend to in your life. Because everything from here on out is spoilery spoilery. Don't say I didn't warn you.

My feelings about TLH are complicated. I didn't love it, which is saying a lot, because I practically worship the PJO series. I think the first series is delightfully conceived and near-perfectly paced with some of the most engaging and likeable characters to ever appear on a page. TLH is not even close to that caliber of storytelling. No way. What was fresh in the first series is now vaguely formulaic and repetitive and wow, I could drive a truck each and every one of the plot holes. So yeah, there are a lot of issues. But the one thing I think is the single largest problem in TLH is the hardcore lack of Percy Jackson. I don't even think this statement is biased based on the fact that I have an enduring love affair with him. Giving us zero Percy page time was easily the biggest mistake.

You don't just casually mention, OH BTW, Percy has been missing for days, and then build a plot that does not involve looking for him. Oh, there are people looking for him (aka all of the old crew and the people we care about), but unfortunately, we the readers have to follow some other dumbshit plot about rescuing Hera, and GOD, Rsquared, I could really not give a flying fuck about Hera. The plot involving the old characters looking for him, seemed infinitely more interesting than bonding with Jason, Leo, and Piper. I am sitting there, frothing in rage, being like wtf, why are there not BATTLE SQUADRONS of demigods being sent out to find Percy?

Sidenote, I was super irritated that every time anyone brought up Percy's name, some new character would chime in, OH YOU MEAN THAT KID ANNABETH IS LOOKING FOR? I literally wanted to punch the wall. YEAH THAT KID. NO CLUE. I MEAN, I HEARD HE SAVED THE WORLD THREE MONTHS AGO. WHAT A HAS-BEEN.

There are two ways RR could've solved this problem. He could've written a book that was set more into the future so the old characters wouldn't figure into the plot. They'd be safely out of the way, IDK, having lots of sex and babies or whatever, and the readers could then concentrate on what was happening in front of them. Or, he could've incorporated the old characters into the main plot. But no. He took the third way, which was, create an entirely separate subplot for the old characters, have it happen simultaneously to the main plot, but not show us any of it. So the two plots are linked, but we don't get that until the end of the book.

Basically, I did not care for the plot until about 300 pages in, which is pretty bad. There was a lot of infodump going on, but since we readers already went through the whole WELCOME TO CAMP HALF-BLOOD part in The Lightning Thief, it was not particularly interesting.

Can I take a moment, also, to RAEG about Jason and Piper? This pretty much sums up how I feel about them and their relationship:

The number of times Piper talked about how omghawt Jason was bordered on how often Bella talks about how *perfect* Edward is. That is Not Okay. I honestly cannot tell you why Jason and Piper like each other. I could give you 100 reasons why Percy likes Annabeth and vice versa. Because they have personalities outside of their relationships. Because we watched them fall in love, we were not TOLD they were in love. Jason/Piper violates the cardinal principle of show, don't tell. We are constantly being told they have feelings for each other, but we don't see it happen.

I didn't like the 3 POVs (too many) and third person (too distant). I still don't feel like I really connect with the main characters. The slang was super forced. The pop culture references ran rampant. Just very inorganic-sounding.

Okay, so that was all very negative. I did like the plot once it picked up, way too much later than I would've liked. I think the Roman aspect is something RR can run with for five books and come up with lots of interesting twists. Leo came into his own as a character, much more than Piper and Jason did. I loved returning to the world of Camp Half-Blood. The new antagonists were awesome. Medea and Midas? You know my heart, Rick, you do. Loved Annabeth's cameo. Love Thalia. The backstory was cool and I think I kind of love Hephaestus? I always liked him, though. The Roman camp is going to give me the opportunity for endless lulz, because I feel like the Romans perceive themselves as Hot Shits, when really, they just got the Greeks' sloppy seconds during the Titan War.

Son of Neptune (coming October 2011!) is the book I really want to read. I am going to assume, DO NOT BE MISLEADING ME HERE, RSQUARED, that it's about Percy at Roman Camp. No, for srs, RR, if you are jerking with my emotions, I will not be pleased.

So that's me. 3 out of 5 stars, even though I spent a majority of this post bitching.

The Bygone Books

2011-01-02T19:20:00.000-08:00

SEE LOOK AT ME KEEPING MY NEW YEARS GOALS. If Lawrence Dai can blog daily about Julia & Julia, then I can blog twice a week. Today, I am thinking about those book serieses (this is not a word, I'm sure, but not pluralizing it sounds more awkward) that were popular when we were younger. Big literary influences for me and hopefully books you will recognize and think, "Oh yeah, whatever happened to that?" Let the nostalgia fest begin!

The Claidi Journals by Tanith Lee. I believe I incorrectly referred to them as the Wolf Tower series in my last post, but they are actually collectively called the Claidi Journals. Probably one of the first series I remember with a female main character who basically kicks ass and takes names for the duration of the story. I loved Claidi! I tried and failed multiple times throughout my angsty pre-teen and teen years to keep a diary and I wrote them in the style of the Claidi Journals. Except badly, because I'm no Tanith Lee.

This is high fantasy with touches of science fiction. The science fiction part kind of takes over and consumes everything in the fourth book, which I disliked, but as a whole, this series is still a winner. The writing is lush and believable and the setting is amazingly detailed. I used to pretend IKEA was Peshamba (one of the cities featured in the books; I had an active imagination, guise) Many books succeed or fall with their main characters and Claidi is one of those characters who can sustain a story even after it starts to go sour.

Just holding my journal and leaning casually to the side, BEING AWESOME.

The Silverwing series by Kenneth Oppel. Okay, just first off. Did you know this guy was pen pals with Roald Dahl and got published at fifteen?! He's like Christopher Paolini, except good! Just kidding, Chris P., you know I admire you, I just can't get into Eragon.

Silverwing was a great fucking series, excuse my language. It was. It was perfect for a voracious junior high reader. Also, I may have been madly in love with Shade, the main character, who is ... a bat. A bat who saves the world! Hey, true love transcends all boundaries, even SPECIES and FICTIONALITY. The action starts from the first chapter, and it Does. Not. Stop.

There are three books in this series: Silverwing, Sunwing, and Firewing. I'm going to be honest. You should stop after the second, because I hated the third. The third book focuses on Shade's son, Griffin, and I just did not love Griffin the way I loved his father. Because a lot of the time, books that focus on "the next generation" tend to put a new spin on the main character by giving him/her a hardcore inferiority complex, for whatever reason. Whiny, weak, "I can't measure up to [insert earlier awesome main character here]" MCs piss me off like no other. Also, the ending was just unforgivable. Don't want to spoil it, but I cried for days afterward. On the whole, a memorable series, and worth revisiting. I reread Firewing the other day. Don't know why. Still made me mad, but Oppel's writing has an addictive quality to it.

A very sexy bat.

The Redwall series by Brian Jacques. This may be cheating, as I did not actually finish this series. But let's cut me a break here, shall we? Because Redwall is the SERIES THAT NEVER ENDS. Seriously, at last count (by the numbers on Wikipedia), Redwall is up to 21 books, with the 22nd on its way. Each book is a stand-alone, however, so don't hang back from the land of friendly talking rodents just because you don't want to commit to 20+ books. Redwall is amazing. Brian Jacques is amazing for being able to write solely in this one universe for years. You think he'd get sick of it, but apparently, he has many stories left in his brain yet.

The stories are well-plotted and action-packed, and the characters are lovable, and not only because they are cuddly and cute. Sword-wielding vermin? COUNT ME IN. In all seriousness, though, there's a reason this is an enduring series for children. It might not be epicly unforgettable like Narnia or Harry Potter, but it's got all the makings of a thrilling adventure for kids. Yeah, I've kind of outgrown it. This isn't to say it's not an enjoyable read at any age. If you don't read anything else in Redwall, you should at least try Mossflower, the second one in the series. Toe-curlingly evil villain? Check. Noble hero? Check. Trickery and battles? Check and check. Of course, I do admit, the reason I stopped was because the plots and characters get kind of repetitive after a while. There are only so many mice you can take before you call it quits. Also, just so you're warned, Redwall is straight-up food porn. I mean, there are pages and pages of description on the food. Apparently, moles can bake a mean pie, and otters have a taste for spicy soups. Like ... what? I don't even know, but I can tell you, the food sounds strangely appetizing. And then I get grossed out that I'm drooling over fictional small-furry-mammal food. Damn you, Brian Jacques. Damn you and your Great Feasts.

Is that Martin or Matthias or Mattimeo?

IDK because there are 21 books holy shit.

Ringing In The New Year

2011-01-01T13:05:00.000-08:00

Back from vacationing in San Diego, and this is my first post of 2011. Woo hoo! Four things, because I've gotten excessively good at lists and excessively bad at everything else.

First book recs of the new year:

1) The Golden Compass! Read it on my flights and it was amazing. Where have I been my whole life? IDEK. The last half of the book totally blew me out of the water. Few books rarely have me connecting so well with the main character, but I was on the same page as Lyra through everything. Definitely an exhilarating ride. I have to say, this series reminds me a lot of The Wolf Tower series by Tanith Lee. Remember when that was popular? Remember? The science fiction and human experimentation stuff draws some parallels. Plus, I think Lyra and Claidi resemble each other strongly in personality, although Lyra is a more universally reader-friendly character. Looking forward to digging into The Subtle Knife and I'll have to order The Amber Spyglass, but NO PROBLEM because I am now a Borders Plus Member (free shipping with orders!). Yeah, I just fell into a new category of lame.

2) Not The End Of The World by Geraldine McCaughrean. This was pubbed in 2004, so not a new release. I discovered it in the good old library. I think the title is sort of childish and stupid, but whatever. It's a retelling of Noah's Ark and the flood. I am a huge fan of multiple POVs, and this book does it fantastically without overdoing it and giving Every Single Character a voice. Much, much love. It's beautifully written too. Short read. Something you could easily finish in several hours. Check it out!

Disclaimer: Completely unintentional, but both of my first 2011 recs are ... how do I put it ... a little blasphemous if you're easily offended by that sort of thing. I'm sure you're all familiar with why His Dark Materials is sacreligious blah blah. Not The End of The World is putting a new spin on a Bible story and it is not a flattering retelling. I personally do not find fiction offensive most of the time, because it's fiction. It's really hard for me to get riled up about something that was created imaginatively. Buuuut, I thought I'd warn you, in case it wasn't already obvious.

Onto other things.

3) I am making a New Years Resolution to be a better blogger this year. Two posts a week, I'mma try REALLY HARD. Especially since I am nearing the two-year anniversary of the start of this blog (I might treat myself to some delicious, expensive, otherwise-unjustifiable food as a celebration and maybe some clothes because I can always find an excuse to buy new clothes) and I want to hit the two-year on a good blogging note. I have gotten loads better since then, which is great, and the whole reason I started blogging, so that I wouldn't slack off on my writing. Which leads me to point number four.

4) I'm starting over on The Forever City. By which I mean, I'm totally dumping it and rewriting from scratch with new characters and a new setting and a new plot, but it is still a retelling of The Water Horse of Barra. I had about 15,000 words on TFC -- utterly pathetic, I know -- and I am very happy with what I have. It's great. But I got a better idea and I think I could do more with it. I'm not upset, and I certainly don't feel like I wasted my time. I never feel like anything I write is a waste of time, which is probably why I have over half a million words saved in various places on my computer. I mean, I have at least 50,000 of just fan fiction extras that I never posted. But everything is a learning experience, and that's why I save everything.

The only thing I am unhappy about is the sparse amount of writing that I ended up getting done the second half of 2010. Writing, while being painful and time-consuming and utterly UN-FUN while it is happening, is evidently integral enough of a part of me that my life feels tragically incomplete when I'm not writing on a regular basis. So here. I'm going to make a goal to write at least 2,000 per week. That's not hard. I wrote 1,700 words per day for 30 days straight in November '09, and I used to write 1,000 words per day. Even though my life is much busier now than it was when I started blogging, I think 2,000 per week is a doable goal. And in the end, it will probably make me a much happier person. I remember when I used to walk 30 minutes to spend the day at the library writing on Saturdays. Now, that was probably because I had nothing else to do my freshman year because see below, my freshman year sucked. But I was happy as a clown on Saturdays. Now, I'm all, "Mehhh, it's too cold to haul my ass somewhere and write and I can't do it in my apartment because I'm distracted and I have homework mehhhh." I need to stop being LAZY and COMPLACENT.

So, let's make 2011 a good year, shall we? My horoscope tells me that 2011 is a great year to write a book. No, really, it says that for Leo, in those words. You funny, horoscope. You funny.

Happy New Year!

For You

2010-12-18T00:15:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I don't know how many of you this post will be relevant to. I don't think I have a whole lot of high school readers. But it's college decision time for some, and I think it's an appropriate time to share this story.

Exactly three years ago (give or take maybe a day or two), I was receiving all of the letters from my early decision/early action schools. It was, needless to say, the worst time of my life, because I got all rejections except for one. This wasn't because I was stupid or because I didn't try hard. I did try very hard. I had a 3.98 GPA and a 32 on the ACT. I was in mostly AP courses, and I got 4's or 5's in all of them. I was in many, many extracurricular activities. I spent my time making sure my application looked perfect. I won awards at my school. My teachers kept telling me I had so much potential, my parents kept saying I was Ivy League-bound, and because I trusted my teachers and parents -- I believed them.

But my tender, hoping heart was shattered in the middle of December 2007. In my life, two rejections have hurt the most:

1) Getting rejected by my dream school, which will not be named University of Chicago, I'm looking at you right now with your Uncommon Application blog that encourages students to love you with wide, adoring eyes and then coldly delivers rejections with all of the gentleness of a flying cactus.

2) Getting rejected from college marching band. Yeah, I cried for two hours in the Borders parking lot. Pathetic? Yes. I was really crushed, though. I mean, what other extracurricular was going to take up my free time? I was convinced I would have no friends (because let's be real, I was a band geek and that's how I made friends) and my life would be a black hole of despair and I would never find another interest that would mean as much to me again.

In a way, I made it a self-fulfilling prophecy. I didn't let myself love anything else. My first semester sucked. I was miserable. I cried all the time and lied when people asked me if I liked college. I mean, what kind of lame kid hates college? I didn't try to make friends or join other things. I went to football games and watched the marching band perform and then I would go back to my dorm room and cry. And maybe eat pints of ice cream. It was 10000x worse because my roommate was in marching band, so I had to watch her go to practice and prep for games and generally be happy as a clown. I was not Okay, even though I did a pretty good job of hiding it. I was hideously, awfully, dreadfully unhappy.

But it got better. Because after a while, I decided I was being a loser and needed to pull my head out of my ass. My dream school that will not be named ~~University of Chicago~~ was not going to come crawling to me saying they'd made a mistake and somehow overlooked my brilliance and how I was born to be their student. It basically came down to this: I could be miserable for four years or I could do something about it.

So I did do something. Well, actually, I think I was just a spectacularly lucky person and God decided I had suffered enough, so he sent wonderful people my way to shoehorn my head out of my ass and make me go try new things.

And you know what?

Things turned out better than Okay. Because these are things I did that I would not have done if I had gone to my dream school that will not be named ~~University of Chicago~~ because I would've been studying All The Time and because most of these things came out of my being miserable:

1) Participate in a fashion show and learn how to dance. Meet other Asians and stop being so white-washed. I have diverse friends!

2) Go to frat parties. And bars! (Legal age of entry in my collegetown is 19 years, which is not what it would've been in Chicago.)

3) Canvass for a political campaign in another state.

4) Go to all kinds of sports events.

5) Complete NaNoWriMo.

6) Write a novel. Or two. Or three.

7) Start working at a newspaper (Just to remind you, I had no interest in journalism in high school nor did I participate in anything journalist-y before this; I decided that it would be cool and glamorous to work at a paper, so I randomly got a job there. It is not cool or glamorous, but it is fantastic in other ways.). Do well there! Get promoted! Learn that I have decent people skills! Figure out I can improvise past crappy technology!

8) Realize that even in a school of 30,000 people, the professors and classes are still amazing. I have professors who are worldwide leaders in their fields, yet still stop me in the hallway to ask how I'm doing. They are happy to see me at office hours and teach me how to be better at writing. They bring cookies and coffee to class out of the sheer goodness of their hearts. Oh, and even though they have hundreds of students, they know my name anyway.

8) Meet the greatest people I will ever know.

9) Learn that I can move past failure and be successful wherever I go. Prove to myself that no matter what happens, I will be Okay. I might even be better than Okay.

I was studying with some of my friends in the newsroom at 2 a.m. the week before finals, and I told them that I had auditioned for marching band and been rejected. And you know what one of them said? She said, "But if you hadn't been rejected, you never would've started working here, and you wouldn't be my roommate next year. You never would have met us."

And she was right. (Incidentally, she designed the banner for my blog a year ago. Ain't it prettyyyy? So I also wouldn't have that banner.)

She also said, "Why would you even want to go a school that has the motto Where Fun Goes To Die?" That was the motto of my dream school ~~University of Chicago~~. The answer is, I don't. Funny how things work out. I'm even glad that the dream school rejected me. Because now I go to a place where fun decidedly does not go to die; fun is alive and well, thank you very much.

So if you ever think that being rejected from your dream college is the end of the world, know that it's not. Rejection is never the end of the world. There's a lot more world out there, just waiting for you to discover it, if only you will pull your head out of your ass so that you can see better.

Home For The Holidays

2010-12-16T21:25:00.000-08:00

Semester's over! I walked in to my house to discover cranberry sauce sitting in a dish on the counter and realized that life is good. My mama knows what I love. I have a freakishly unnatural love for cranberries. In any form. You know what else is great? The prospect of having hot showers at any hour of the day and not having to time the hot water. It is impossible to get a hot shower on Monday morning in my apartment. Yeah, I am really looking forward to my shower tomorrow morning. High standards of happiness. I haz them.

[I am actually kind of happy that I have showers in any capacity at school because I forgot to pay the water bill on time last month (whoops). They billed me the payment again on this month's bill, so I had to call the water company, which, notice is called ILLINOIS AMERICAN WATER. So I call the service guy and he's like, "So, what state are you calling from, ma'am?" ...Illinois? After putting me on hold for two minutes: "Did you say you were from Missouri?" Just to be clear, I checked the website as I was typing this and Illinois American Water definitely only serves consumers in Illinois. Which would make sense.]

Enough about water.

The real point: Books I want to read over break. I'm going to try and be ambitious, but let's face it, my family is going to San Diego/LA for a week, I have to study for those godforsaken LSATs, and I should probably get a start on those summer internship apps due in Feb. And I kind of want to write. That's maybe important a little bit somewhat.

1) HIS DARK MATERIALS YES I SWEAR I AM FINALLY GOING TO READ THEM (Philip Pullman). This is one of those series that everyone shames you over if you haven't read it. It's not as bad as say, not having read Harry Potter, but it's still pretty bad. It's like you say you haven't read them, and immediately, people get that look on their faces like, "Jebus, is this girl even literate?" I foraged around the multiple bookshelves in our house, and for some reason, we own The Subtle Knife but not the first book or the third book. Who buys the second book in a series, just the second book? No fucking clue. Us, I suppose. Anyway, I will power through The Golden Compass somehow. I will.

2) STARDUST (Neil Gaiman). I am a sucker for romantic adult fairy tales, it's true. And I am a sucker for Neil Gaiman. Why I have never read this, I have no idea. But I watched the movie recently (again), and it made me wonder where this book has been all my life. It's like tailor-made for me, you know? High fantasy that's romantic and almost Arthurian. I like, I like.

[I am in a mood for high fantasy right now. Probably because I am really sick of all the vampires and werewolves and dark angels and [insert other dark, smouldering creature here]. I'm sick of "edgy" fantasy, okay, especially as I find stalkerish otherworldly beings completely unsexy. I want a noble hero, not a tortured one. Bring on the fairies and unicorns and princes. I am so there.]

The first piece of fiction I wrote was about a unicorn princess. I was about eight at the time. Yeah, I was a cool kid.

So those books are for sure reads. And then, I have some, want-to reads, but may or may not get to, depending on if I'm distracted by books on the front display at Borders.

3) THE RED QUEEN (Philippa Gregory). Margaret Beauford, mother of Henry VII. What more could a history major want? I do feel like the newer Gregory books are somewhat more one-dimensional. My two favorites from her are The Other Boleyn Girl (Mary and Anne Boleyn) and The Constant Princess (Catherine of Aragon, the greatest queen ever don't try to tell me otherwise), but I don't think Gregory has hit that level of compelling storytelling since.

4) ROOM (Emma Donoghue) is told from the perspective of a 5-year-old boy named Jack, who lives in captivity with his mother. Kind of like that abduction case in Austria a couple of years ago when that guy locked his daughter in his basement for 20-odd years and got her pregnant so by the time the police found her, the daughter had raised a family in captivity. I read a preview of it and was completely blown away by the voice of Jack. This is a situation so horrifying to imagine being in that I feel like it may be too emotionally disturbing for me to get through, but in the end, the payoff will probably be worth it.

Final holiday confession: A couple of years ago, I saw a high fantasy children's book (don't be deceived; this children's book was at least 200 pages long) that was about St. Nicholas as the king of a fantasy land and his daughter, the Christmas princess. I have no idea what it's called, but around the holidays, I always secretly want to find it and read it. /amridiculouslylame.

My Favorite Unconventional Love Stories

2010-12-04T23:06:00.000-08:00

Something about snow and Christmas makes people think about love and want to do lovey things. Like watch chick flicks and read cutesy romantic novels. I do, anyway. I am also kind of pathetic, so maybe I am alone here. It snowed around 8 inches yesterday, and my roommate and I watched Love Actually. Correction: I put Love Actually into the DVD player and forced my roommate to watch it with me because I didn't want to watch it for the fourth time this semester by myself OMG MY LIFE IS SO SAD. So I thought it would be appropriate to post about my favorite unconventional love stories in books. Because conventional ones aren't memorable. I think unconventional love stories endure because everyone wishes they could be in one. The greater the obstacle, the greater the love, so they say.

1) The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger (I have the biggest, most embarrassing girl crush on her) is totally one of the greatest love stories ever. I jumped on that bandwagon, yeah. I reread it recently, actually, and I still adore it. It's always on my night stand. If you have resisted reading it thus far and somehow haven't heard of it yet, it's about Henry and Clare as they struggle through the travails of life. It is pretty much a conventional marriage, except for the fact that Henry time travels involuntarily. So the first time Clare meets him, she is six. The first time he meets her, he is twenty-eight. It's the ultimate hipster, indie book full of hipster, indie references, but I don't care. It's epic. The ending is one of the greatest things I've ever read. Alternative story-telling at its best. Plus, I've bought this book twice. I lost my first copy somehow, so I purchased another one this semester because I wanted to reread it that badly.

2) Elsewhere by Gabrielle Zevin is one of the most creative concepts ever executed. Fifteen-year-old Liz dies at the opening, and she finds herself in a curious place called Elsewhere. It's the afterlife, which is very much like normal life, except that everyone ages backwards. When you become a newborn, you are sent back to Earth to be reborn. YES it is as amazing as it sounds. Her love interest, Owen, died in his thirties, but of course, by the time they meet, he is seventeen. God, this concept is so cool I can't even get over it. It's one of those ideas where you're like, why didn't I think of that and write it? It's written as though it were directed toward children, but it really isn't. I mean, it has sex and cursing and all these deep, philosophical things in it, so maybe not for anyone younger than twelve, but it's great for adults as long as you don't get turned off by the simplistic narration.

3) Stay With Me by Garret Freymann-Weyr is not really a romance. It's a story about a girl trying to understand her half-sister's suicide, and yet somehow manages to be an amazingly uplifting story. It's about suicide, but it's not about suicide. The inside flap says, "Stay With Me is a story about how impossible and important love is." And that's exactly what this novel is about. The unconventional part is that seventeen-year-old Leila gets into a relationship with thirty-one-year-old Eamon. Yet, it is incredibly sweet and mature, not at all creepy. The way it's written so normally is phenomenal and really says a lot about how great of a writer Freymann-Weyr is. I think this is all-around a fantastic story about love and about being comfortable with yourself and your sexuality. As well as being devastatingly romantic. One of my all-time favorite books.

Speaking of age differences, anybody notice all of the headlines about GYLLENSWIFT? Yes, that is apparently the new couple name for Jake Gyllenhaal (29) and Taylor Swift (20). Nine-year age difference. Not huge, I think, but a lot of people are squicked out because Taylor's only 20. If one of them was 40 and the other was 49, it wouldn't be a big deal at all. But I am all for it. If it's successful, they'll put some super pretty babies into the world and if it's unsuccessful, Taylor will have another Number 1 hit. I'm predicting the song title to be Screw You, Jake (seeing as Hey, Stephen and Dear John have already been taken). It's gonna be a great song. So best wishes to you, Gyllenswift, but I kind of hope you break up just so the world can be gifted with another musical fuck-you from TSwift. I live for those.

Dear Writers

2010-12-01T17:45:00.000-08:00

Even though I haven't been around for a while, I think it's so cool that there are so many amazing writers on blogger.

I've seen so many people put "Write and publish a novel" on their bucket lists. Because it's fashionable? Because it's glamorous? I don't know. It makes me frustrated though, since most of these people are never going to lift a finger to make it happen. If you want to be an author, what better time to do it than now? Why wait? What are you waiting for? A time when it's going to be easier? A time when you're going to be better? I don't think you're ever going to find a more convenient time. Writing is never convenient and you're never going to be better unless you write.

Right?

So for all of you guys who are already writing that novel, you're awesome.

Congratulations to all of you who participated in NaNoWriMo. It doesn't matter if you won or not, because you tried. And I hope you had fun!

To NaNo or Not to NaNo?

2010-10-31T14:19:00.000-07:00

Hey hey hey. Tomorrow begins NaNoWriMo, one of the greatest months of the year for writers, and the blogosphere is blowing up with preparation for this event. I read that this year, there are supposed to be upwards of 175,000 participants (even more than last year!). Here is my archive of NaNo posts from last year. I seem pretty unhinged in most of them, unsurprisingly.

YES. I did just gratuituously insert my winning NaNo banner because I LIKE TO BRAG. Too bad this is as large as Blogger allows.

So here's the thing. I won't be doing NaNo this year because ... well, if you look at my record of blogging since this semester started, you can probably see why. I'm pretty sad about it because NaNo was definitely one of the best experiences I've put myself through. I encourage you all to do it if you have the time. I can tell you, it's not easy. Looking back on last November, I distinctly remember some crying in the early hours of the morning. I remember walking in the cold to various cafes because I couldn't complete the word count in my dorm room. I remember creeping on other people's blue progress bars in envy wondering how the hell they could get 5,000 in one day and I was coaxing 1,700 and a shitty 1,700 at that. Oh, and there was a lot of caffeine involved. Didn't become an alcoholic, luckily, but me and coffee became BFFs. Me and sleep had a messy breakup for a month.

BUT. Here are all of the reasons why you SHOULD do NaNoWriMo.

1) However many words you write, you're that many words into a manuscript you didn't have before the month started.

2) Your writing is going to get exponentially better. Maybe not immediately and not in a conscious way when you're reading what you've written, but the very act of producing a certain amount of words in a short time demands improvement.

3) Even if you don't plan on using the stuff you write (I haven't used it, but I like reading it from time to time), think of it as a giant writing exercise. It's good practice!

4) You get to meet other crazy people, and craziness is best shared and not suffered in silence alone.

5) It gives you a tangible, doable goal. It is very doable. If I can do it, you can do it.

6) It's fun! (Really. Even when it's not.)

7) Nobody will ever understand why you want to do this. If you're like me, you don't have any writer friends in real life. And everyone will just wonder why you've retreated into a corner for a month. People will question your sanity. They will probably approach you slowly with crackers in an attempt to keep you fed so you don't starve to death. When you get to 50,000 words, nobody will consider it an accomplishment. But the important thing is, YOU will know you completed something huge, and that's something that nobody can take away from you.

8) You are going to feel like a million bucks when you make it to 50,000 words. You did it. All by yourself. It's one of the few things in life you can accomplish with no help from others. I mean, people can be your support system, but those words are all yours. And I swear, it's the best feeling in the world.

Good luck, everybody! I wish I could compete with you. But I'll be writing as well. Just not in such large chunks. :)

BONUS REASON: NaNoWriMo is the only good activity you can participate in throughout the month of November. The only other thing I know of that's happening is No Shave November, which some guys I work with are going to do, and I just have to keep my mouth shut. But I still don't fully get the point of it. I mean, when guys do No Shave November, at the end of the month, they can be like OH HAHA I have testosterone YAY look at the hair on my face. However, being a girl, I don't think anyone who interacts with me at all would appreciate it if I participated in No Shave November, so I call bullshit on this event.

One Month Older And None The Wiser

2010-10-19T19:00:00.000-07:00

I would like to be able to tell you that the reason I fell off the face of the earth for a month was because I was insanely productive, went on a literary and psychological journey where I reached nirvana in my writing and have a brand spanking new manuscript to show for it.

I would be lying, of course. On Saturday, I wrote 1,500 words of fiction, and I think that's the grand total of what I've written since the beginning of September. What happened in the mean time:

1) I got hardcore addicted to coffee again.

2) I resumed my schedule of not getting enough sleep ever, and my body is starting to reward me by making it look like someone has punched me in both eyes when I wake up in the morning. The bags under my eyes can probably hold babies now. Yay for concealer!

3) My attention span has steadily deteriorated to the point where it is now comparable to that of a hyperactive hamster. My professors probably hate me because I behave as if I have intense Restless Leg Syndrome through all of my classes. And I check my cell phone every five minutes.

4) My professors also probably think I am two different people, because some mornings, I show up to class having showered, put on nice clothes and makeup, and some mornings I show up like I've been dragged through a dumpster and been addicted to crystal meth for several months.

5) I have to play adult and pay bills now (even though my parents are giving me money, it still feels weird to have bills on the table, waiting to be paid).

6) NEWSPAPER. (This is mostly what has happened in the past month.)

I decided I should probably get back to blogging because over a year and a half ago (whaaaa?) when I started this thing, it was supposed to keep me on top of my novels. And I am in desperate need of a hard and fast writing schedule right now. Also, because I am narcissistic, I feel bad that I have followers and I stopped saying things simply because "I don't have time" - what is that anyway? It's college. Who really even knows what "having time" means? I could blog instead of watching Jerry Springer, and my life would probably be better for it.

Most likely.

I mean, watching Jerry Springer does make me feel better about myself.

So watch out. I am back. And I have substantive things to say. (Maybe.) What's new with you? Fill me in, because not gonna lie, I've not been reading anyone's blogs. New deals? New agents? New manuscripts? Is anyone doing NaNoWriMo this year?

Winner!

2010-09-13T22:29:00.001-07:00

I am basically perpetually apologizing, but I'm training/dealing with new employees right now which is why I have no time to do anything.

But, I picked the winner randomly, and it's oneoffour111 (who I beta-read for, YAY). Congrats! E-mail me with your address, and I'll ship it to you soooooon.

Tomorrow is my night off. So unfortunate that I have homework and can't just veg out on the couch like a useless excuse for a human being.

CINDERS GIVEAWAY

2010-09-04T12:43:00.001-07:00

(Sorry for being late.)

I am giving away a free copy of CINDERS by Michelle Davidson Argyle. Reasons why you should sign up:

1) It's free. And who doesn't love free things, I mean seriously. Nobody ever refuses free things.

2) You don't have to fill out a survey or anything stupid and/or time consuming to receive this free thing like most things on the Internet.

3) It's about Cinderella, and WHO DOESN'T LOVE CINDERELLA? If you don't like Cinderella, then I can't like you. (Just kidding. Maybe.)

4) It's autographed! Everybody likes having autographed books. If you're a true book enthusiast, your autographed book collection is your pride and joy. Don't have an autographed book, you say? Well, here is your chance to start your own collection. Now go forth and stalk some authors until they file restraining orders against you or sign your books in hopes that you will leave them alone. Preferably the latter.

5) You have like a 75% chance of winning because you're not entering a book giveaway on someone famous' blog. LESS COMPETITION.

6) This review.

7) Along with #6: Because I said so.

Now that I have convinced you, how do you sign up, you ask with the desperation of a drowning soul? It's easy! Just leave a comment on this post. No need to be a follower or anything. You can tweet or blog about it if you wish, but I'm not awarding any extra points because I'm too lazy to tally all of that stuff up. CONTINENTAL U.S. ONLY; I am a poor college student who cannot afford to be shipping things to Timbuktu. You have a week. Winner will be picked by random selection next Sunday.

(I may finally be able to get back to blogging after that, but next week is going to be a nightmare for me. Hope to see your happy smiling faces again soon metaphorically speaking.)

CINDERS Review

2010-09-01T23:18:00.000-07:00

Cinderella's happily-ever-after isn't turning out the way she expected. With her fairy godmother imprisoned in the castle and a mysterious stranger haunting her dreams, Cinderella is on her own to discover true love untainted by magic.

In Michelle Davidson Argyle's retelling of the classic fairy tale, Cinderella has married her Prince Charming and is finding out the darker side of love and royalty.

This is definitely not the Ella Enchanted-style spin on Cinderella. From the first page, you can tell CINDERS is the kind of book that will send scary-shivers down your spine; it's not afraid to explore those dark alleys, pry deeper into the insecurities and ugly sides of the heroine. I love the role that magic plays here, how it doesn't always make things better, but quite often tends to make things much, much worse.

I was surprised by how Cinderella was portrayed here. She is not constantly chipper, perfectly sweet, or any of the characteristics she is often given. She is impatient, confused, a little heartless at times, curious, and strong. I can respect her decisions, even if I don't always agree with them. I felt that Prince Rowland (almost inevitably) fell short in terms of matching up with Cinderella, a bit blander and drier than our heroine, the kind of man who is easy to overlook and take for granted. Maybe that's exactly what Cinderella does.

I have to say, my favorite part of CINDERS is probably the setting. It has this Celtic-esque, medieval feel to it, which is intricate, ornate, and mysterious. It lacks the warmth I traditionally associate with Cinderella stories, but in a way, suits the purpose of the storytelling.

Critically, I do feel like it was hard to initially immerse myself in the story because Cinderella seems closed off to me in the beginning, and Rowland is consistently hard to decipher. But there were enough questions being raised to keep me pushing through the pages, and the ending stayed true to the rest of the book, which I appreciated very much.

This is one of those books you have to read more than once, because I think it's much easier to appreciate it and notice the little things the second time around. I actually believe this is one of the few books that becomes richer with the second reading, so I highly recommend you take it slowly and enjoy the atmosphere that is woven.

CINDERS is beautifully produced and bound. It's simply marvelous to hold in your hand and flip through the pages. Very professionally made. Definitely a gorgeous addition to any bookshelf. You really need to own a physical copy if you're going to purchase it. Seriously, as much as I know how convenient e-books are and how some people wax eloquent about the wonders of e-readers for hours, CINDERS is in its best form on paper. It's a stunning design. (I do wish there were hardcovers.)

I am doing a giveaway for this book in the next week, and I'll put up a separate post for that on Friday. It's a signed copy, so you know what, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO GO BREAK MY HEART BY GETTING THE ELECTRONIC VERSION, I will deliver the physical copy right into your eager, grabby hands. It has a lovely bookmark too, and I use it for everything, even my textbooks, because it looks so classy. (Also, Michelle has a super pretty signature, the kind that was made for autographs, and you will definitely feel inadequate about your own name-signing abilities when you see it.)

To find more information on CINDERS and Michelle Davidson Argyle, go to her official website, where you can read other reviews, read excerpts, and buy the book.

Getting Back Into the Swing of Things

2010-08-17T07:48:00.000-07:00

Back at school! Ahhhh, I missed this campus so much. I'm at Editor Training all week, working on putting out the first issues of the paper for the semester, moving in, seeing people, buying books, and trying to learn how to cook so I don't starve during the year. Therefore, I won't be blogging for probably two weeks until I stop to breathe. Also, you know, the novel. That's gotta take precedence before blogging.

But. Hopefully, I will be getting a copy of CINDERS by our own lovely Michelle Davidson Argyle from the blogosphere and I'll put up a review of that. To read more about CINDERS, click on the link to the right - The Innocent Flower.

I'll probably still be reading your blogs. Have to find some way to procrastinate, right?

Lots of love,

Me.

Week of Celebration/Countdown/Mindless Panic

2010-08-08T22:00:00.000-07:00

Several things on the agenda for this week.

1) WRITEONCON IS ON TUESDAY, YOU DON'T NEED AN EMAIL REMINDER, YOU HAVE ME. I'm so excited to absorb all of the wisdom that will come out of this event. I will be a happy, happy sponge. Preemptively thanking all of the organizers. This is the first "writing conference" I've attended. Reason #128290 why the Internet is made of awesome. I'm pumped beyond all reason to be surrounded by freaks like me. This is like the atmosphere of NaNoWriMo, except with more food and less angst.

2) 10k on the new manuscript, guise. And a good 10k. The kind that will cause me less distress when editing comes around. The characters are taking the story in different directions than I originally anticipated, and I am cautiously following their lead.

3) Less than a week before I move back to school. This brings me great joy but also great misery. Great joy because I get to return to the wild where I have no curfew and nobody can tell me what is an acceptable use of my Friday night. Plus I miss everybody like crazy. Sunday can't come fast enough, I swear. Great misery too because I have thus far done no packing or preparation whatsoever. And I'm moving into an apartment this time, which means I have fewer RAs and authority figures making sure I am fed and sober. More closet space, but this means I have more stuff to lug over there. Excluding death by sharks and paper shredders, moving in is about as horrible as it gets.

4) Along those same lines, I am in a state of MINDLESS PANIC right now, because next week is Editor Training Week for the newspaper, where we collectively decide to not crash and burn for the year and start putting out the first issues. And talk about goals. Stuff like that. I am trying to put together the schedule for my tiny staff (after the quitters and the graduates and the people who REALLY NEED TO CHECK THEIR EMAIL, yes, open letter to my copy editors: get on that), and at the moment, it looks like my future is going to involve work, work, and more work. Which means less writing and non-work friends. It is right about this time when I start to wonder who decided to spike my lemonade last year when I applied for copy chief, because I must've been as high as a kite on PCP when I took the job. Who possibly believes I can live up to the demands of this gig? NOT ME. /anxious

5) Being the lameass that I am, I finally read THE SKY IS EVERYWHERE by Jandy Nelson (took me long enough after the endless pimping on the blogosphere) and I'm officially joining the list of people whose brains have been broken by this masterpiece. Jandy, your writing completes my life, dear. Please never stop. Love, a poor writer who grovels at your feet.

6) In other news, the LSAT is kicking my sorry ass up and down Logic Lane and trouncing me in the game of intelligence. I can hear it laughing at me in my head, and it sounds like a mix between Lord Voldemort and Elmo. Carry on, everybody.

Pixar, I Want Your Babies

2010-08-03T21:18:00.000-07:00

(This has to do with writing at some point, I promise, and not just my ridiculous fangirl crush on Pixar.)

So I'm almost positive I have mentioned before that even though I'm planning on a career in law, I have several alternate futures where I pursue other careers that I would never realistically be able to do. One, Food Network chef. Two, ballerina. Three, journalist. I have a lot of interests. I appreciate that about myself, because I'm usually not bored with anything I do.

Number four is animator. Yes, I have always thought it would be really cool to be an animator. Most people probably would find this a baffling thing to find interesting. I mean, I'm sure the childhood dream of normal people is to be an actor/actress. Something glamorous. Being an animator is the opposite of glamorous. You work long hours, you don't get to spend a whole lot of time with your family, you stare at a computer screen for hours, you probably routinely cry into coffee-stained napkins at 3 in the morning. Caffeine pills are no doubt a sizable part of your food pyramid. Worst of all, you don't go to red carpet events and nobody will ever know your name.

I can probably count on one hand how many live-action films I've watched and felt a sense of real artistic wonder from. On the other hand, I walk out of most animated films wondering what the hell I'm doing with my life. I love watching the way the light is animated to fall in skin, the textures from hard plastic to soft fur looking as real as anything, and the way an animated character's face can express the range of feeling as well as - sometimes even better than - a real person. The people at animation studios are creating these stunning works of raw, emotional art, and what am I doing to make life a more beautiful thing?

I've always found animation to be the most similar thing I can think of to writing. At some level, you're creating a story and watching it unfold before your eyes. And no, live-action films don't come close, in my opinion. Actors help make live-action films. Animated films spring onto the screen from brains and hands, pretty much out of nothing. And people work on them for years! They probably fantasize about seeing it on screen for the first time the same way writers fantasize about seeing their freshly bound new books for the first time with the shiny covers.

There are a variety of reasons why I haven't seriously pursued the idea of being an animator, the greatest being that the amount of artistic talent I have fits comfortably into a shot glass, but that doesn't mean I can't call it my dream job. If I did have talent and drive, I would totally give my right arm (well, maybe not, that might be useful in animating, so a few toes might be better) to attend Cal Arts and work at Pixar. Also, this article about John Lasseter, which is long, but seriously worth the read because it tells a great lesson about perserverence. He went from getting fired at Disney to creating Pixar to being appointed the head of Disney's animation department. You go, John Lasseter! I will live my animation dreams vicariously through you.

Or maybe I can be your lawyer one day, whatever can get me creepily closer to you.

Any other careers you think are similar to being an author?

I Get An F- For Organization

2010-08-01T22:57:00.001-07:00

A lot of my novel is set in an urban backdrop (by a lot, I really mean all; Washington D.C. and the fantasy city) and this is obviously a manifestation of my desire to move out of Central Illinois to somewhere where there are more interesting things to do than a) go to Steak and Shake or b) go to Borders. I do a poor job of hiding my projection issues in my writing.

Anyway, one of the characters has a real city-fatigue problem, and I think I actually understood it for the first time this weekend. My friends and I were driving to the drive-in theater which is 45ish minutes away from where I live, and it was nearing sunset. And I realized that there is really nothing more beautiful than seeing endless rolling cornfields in late summer.* It's all golden and green and truly, a very pretty sight. I'm sure much nicer than skyscrapers. It does actually make me feel a little homesick when I'm somewhere that isn't flat (like San Francisco). D'awww, I am really a Midwestern girl at heart after all.

We were, by the way, going to see Despicable Me, which made me melt like butter in a microwave and Gru and the girls are now my official prototype for every functional father-daughter relationship in fiction. Okay? Okay.

The other thing is I was driving to Borders the other day (this is like every day of my life here; I've recently started branching out to Barnes & Noble too like the wild child I am) and next to me, I saw a couple riding on a motorcycle. That is not weird in itself. What was weird was the woman sitting behind the man was reading a book while they were flying down the street at 50 mph. Reading on the back of a motorcycle? She's officially awesome. So this made me think about where the most unconventional place is that I've read a book. I'm probably going to have to go with that time I was reading the sixth HP book ~~when Snape kills Dumbledore~~ and my mom, being the tactful person she is, interrupted me near the end. I immediately burst into tears, yelled at her, "Mom, I CAN'T TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW, Dumbledore's DEAD, and my life is ruined!" (or some variation thereof), ran out of the house and found refuge in my neighbor's gooseberry bushes. I finished HP6, sobbing into gooseberries.**

Top my story, please. I bet you can't.

*Keep in mind that my definition of "rolling" is not your definition of "rolling" unless you also live in Central Illinois. Rolling is primarily flat with maybe a few anthills scattered about.

**Dumbledore's death was really traumatizing, okay. Admit it. You cried. If you didn't, maybe you should go get yourself checked out to make sure you're really human.

Hey, Where Is My Letter From Hogwarts?

2010-07-29T15:59:00.001-07:00

This week, I reread The Deathly Hallows and have decided, on the whole, I like it much better. It is, to this date, the only Harry Potter book I have not reread countless numbers of times. The other ones, I practically have whole passages memorized. DH, I felt it was so anticlimactic upon finishing it at 6:30 am the day it was released (also feeling quite numb and dead from exhaustion and the fact I'd have to get up in two hours for traffic school), that I put it on my bookshelf and did not touch again until a few days ago.

But I have revised my opinion upon rereading it. And my conclusion to that is that HP is still the most rereadable books I've ever read. You can reread them endlessly, and they only get better. Also, by this time, three years gone after the release, it's impossible to read any of the books without an overarching emotional reaction to the whole series. The resonance of the series and my attachment to the characters is so strong that it's practically impossible to read anything HP without liking it to some degree. When I cracked open the first chapter to DH, man, the nostalgia hit me like a brick wall. Yes, it was much better the second time around than the first time, where I was trying to beat the clock and the rest of the world in finding out What Happens At The End.

But this all does not change how much I still love HP, guise. The world is so freaking real, you feel like the characters must exist somewhere on this good, green earth, if only you knew where to look. And I very much enjoyed revisiting them.

So in the spirit of that, I would like to celebrate Harry's birthday (July 31). It's too bad that we don't share one, because that would be pretty sweet, but unfortunately, mine is a day before. I'm fated to share a birthday with Arnold Schwarzenegger, who is, let's face it, marginally less cool than The Boy Who Lived.

Happy Birthday, Harry Potter!

~~Snape kills Dumbledore.~~ What?

Doin' It Wrong

2010-07-27T09:21:00.001-07:00

Even though there is no definitive "way" to write, everyone is different, it's hard not to feel like I'm not doin' it wrong for this latest manuscript. I've written for a long time, and I have a trunkload of unfinished manuscripts from when I was young and inexperienced (laugh now, that was like three-four years ago because I am SO OLD, you know). I knew I have a chronic problem with finishing things. I lose interest and I give up. It's a horrible waste of notebook. I render almost every notebook I buy completely useless because I'll fill it halfway and then forget about it.

So for my first novel, so afraid was I of not finishing, that I was mainly concerned with hitting a word count every day just so I could get everything on paper before my quitter-face came on. It worked. I banged out a novel. Not a really great one, but I finished, which was a big milestone. I even rewrote the whole thing from scratch - another 70k words - finished the second draft too. My second novel was during NaNo, so obviously I had to hit a word count every day. It's not good. Writing fast gets it completed, but "completed" is pretty much the only thing you can say about it.

For The Forever City, I've been writing excruciatingly slowly. Because I don't have a word count goal every day, and I edit as I go, which means deleting 500-1,000 words at a time when I feel like a scene is badly written or doesn't need to be there. This is not supposed to be the way you do first drafts, but this is the way it's happening for this one. I can't decide if this is going to be better or worse. We will see.

On another note, I'm turning twenty on Friday, which makes me not a teenager. In three days, I officially will have beaten teen pregnancy. WIN. Major accomplishment.

*ALSO, I realized that since I have a MacBook, my keyboard doesn't actually have a "backspace" key. Haha, picturefail.

Yay For the Y Chromosome

2010-07-21T12:53:00.000-07:00

Even though I have written boy characters before, The Forever City is the first book I've written with a boy-POV. In case you have not noticed by now, I am not a boy. So this is why I appreciate posts like this by Hannah Moskowitz, who is the coolest thing in the blogosphere I've seen this year. Maybe even last year. Maybe even ever. Therefore, I am shamelessly pimping her blog and I think you should all follow her, if only for the purpose of being listed as part of her magical school of gay fish (followers).

Also, she is my age and makes me feel like I've done nothing with my life. I feel that way a lot though. It's an inevitable feeling when I'm surrounded by awesome bloggers (not literally surrounded, like you're all breathing down my neck at B&N while I'm trying to drink my green tea latte).

Let's all go ahead and admit that at least 70% of YA literature right now is straight up directed at girls' fantasies about romance.* Not that I'm blaming a certain obnoxiously in-your-face vampire franchise (try avoiding it for a week, YOU CAN'T), but you have to agree that on some level, this particular franchise is responsible for the deluge of books about boys who exist in the book to do nothing but serve as a romantic interest for the female MC.** If you are a boy, would you be interested in this? Probably not. I can tell you, my brother hates YA. And since my brother is not exactly what you would call an advanced reader, he doesn't read a lot. It's not like he's going to venture to adult books, and he's not interested in romantic subplots (which 90% of YA books have).

I've honestly never thought hard about how stereotypical boy characters are before. And I will go ahead and admit to you all that the last book I read with a boy MC was Percy Jackson, authored by a guy, so it wasn't even really a problem (not to mention, that's MG, not YA). Maybe I should read more books with male MC's - REAL male MC's, not the I-live-to-make-a-girl's-dream-come-true male MC's. Yes. I will make that my goal for the next year. More boys.

Not only do boys deserve to read 3D boy characters, but girls do too. Let's not make boys what they are not - accessories. They make mistakes, they are stupid, they have interests other than that pretty girl down the street. Anyway, a kickass girl character deserves a fully-fleshed out boy, not a cookie cutter perfect one.

You can also follow the link on the side list of Blogs I Stalk. Hannah's blog (Invincible Summer) is there. All the blogs on that side, I read every single post, even if I don't comment. Go. NOW.

Oh, well for the disclaimer, if you are offended by cursing, you should still go. Just, IDK, wash out your eyes afterward or something. She writes the way I talk in real life, but I try to censor myself in writing. Ish.

*All of the statistics in this post are completely made up. By ___% I really mean, the majority.

**No doubt, these books existed before Twilight became the anchor of pop culture, but Twilight surely hasn't done anything to slow the trend. Also, I feel like it is necessary to include my 800000th disclaimer about how I don't really hate Twilight, it's just the easiest example to use because everyone knows about it.

Race in Fiction

2010-07-20T14:55:00.000-07:00

Okay, I promised I wouldn't endlessly revisit this topic after my last post, but this has been floating in the forefront of my thoughts for a while. Because one of my secondary characters, Terra, is African-American, but I am, quite clearly, not African-American in any way, shape, or form, and I'm pretty sure you'd never be able to trace any African-American ancestry in my blood ever. (I used to lie in elementary school when we did genealogy projects. I'd say I had Mongolian blood, which is a huge crock of shit, but I did it because I was jealous of the other kids who got to be Irish, German, English, French, Ukranian, Polish, Italian, Scottish, Celtic, Welsh, Norwegian, Finnish, ETC PLUS A BILLION and I just got to be Chinese. I wanted to be diverse, okay.)

So naturally, I have been thinking about portraying a character who is a different race than myself and also not white (this is the default race, no matter how you look at it). Ever since Zetta Elliott (African-American author of A Wish After Midnight) wrote a guest post for Justine Larbalestier's (author of Liar and How to Train Your Fairy) blog, which at some point included the sentence, "Mostly, I just wish white authors would leave people of color alone." I am taking this out of context massively, but no matter which way you slice it, this sentence was included. You can read the full post here if you so desire, and be aware, that I am not in complete agreement with the opinions expressed. Justine also said this: "I frequently wish non-Australians would not write about Australians or Australia because they so often get it wrong." This is only a wish. She's not for censorship, but nevertheless, her views on writing what you know have been verbalized.

Even though I think this is an unfortunate opinion to have, opinions like these make me worry about my inclusion of a character who is not of my own race. My book is not making any kind of political/moral/societal commentary on race. Terra happens to be black. That's the way she came out in my head, so what? Justine and Zetta would say that I should do some serious research to make sure I'm not "writing her wrong," but come on, seriously. How am I supposed to go about doing research on "mannerisms and culture of black people" without making that sound and BE essentially racist? Even if that wasn't clearly racist, if I did do research on that subject, I'd be writing a caricature of a black person and not a real, unique individual. I guess this means I'm going to write her like I'm going to write her. That's the best I can do.

Have you written a character outside of your race? Were you nervous about it?

This Will Blow Your Mind

2010-07-14T14:13:00.000-07:00

I read every book cover to cover. Really cover to cover. I read all the acknowledgments. If authors took the time to write them, then readers should take the time to read them, right? I read the copyright page from top to bottom.

One of the weirdest things I do when I read, which I'm pretty sure most people don't think of, is read what kind of font the text of the book is set in. It's not always written. I think Penguin Group doesn't put down the font (yeah, I am just that obsessive about it).* But the reason I look to see what font is used is because it often seems to be some sort of inside joke for clever readers who bother to look.

Fun facts:

Percy Jackson and the Olympians, a book series with Greek mythology, is set in Centaur font.

The Kings Are Already Here, a book about analyzing what you want in life, is set in Filosofia font.

Stay With Me, a book with lots of references to foreign cities, is set in Venetian.

Eat Pray Love, with settings in Italy, India, and Bali, is set in Italian Garamond.

Cybele's Secret, a book that takes place in Istanbul, is set in Antiqua Turkish.

Of course, lots of books don't have cool, metaphoric fonts, but I still like seeing what they are (Time Traveler's Wife is set in Minion font; Her Fearful Symmetry does not have a font listed). Plus, it makes you feel somehow accomplished when you come across a book that DOES have cool, metaphoric fonts.

Now, I'm letting you into this secret so you can feel included in the inside joke as well. Go look inside your favorite books and see what the font is!

*No, it is just very rare for Penguin Group books to have the font listed. I have noticed Simon & Schuster seems to be the best bet.

**I am almost certainly reading too deeply into this. I am like a conspiracy theorist.

Her Fearful Symmetry

2010-07-12T12:27:00.000-07:00

Would like to recommend!

I'm so pleased to have read the first book of the summer that I can guiltlessly recommend. I have read a lot of enjoyably mediocre books this summer, and I'm so happy to finally be able to tell you: I read something awesome!

I always intended on buying this book, but I forgot about it until I saw the new softcover at B&N a couple of days ago (this is the old cover displayed on the left). Her Fearful Symmetry was published in 2009, Audrey Niffenegger's second book that sold for an advance of $4 million.

Regardless of how you felt about The Time Traveler's Wife (I loved it immensely), you should try Her Fearful Symmetry. For one, it doesn't resemble the first book at all. If you covered up the author's name on both, you probably wouldn't even be able to tell the same person wrote them.

It's a delightfully quirky ghost story for people who don't normally like ghost stories. A pair of twin sisters, Julia and Valentina, have been bequeathed their late Aunt Elspeth's flat in London, and the stipulations are, they must live there for a year before selling it and their parents are not allowed to enter.

The characters are wonderfully drawn. There's Martin, the upstairs neighbor, who has crippling OCD and cannot leave his flat. There's Robert, Elspeth's past lover who does research on cemeteries (LIKE ME!). And there's Elspeth, who is less dead than you might think she is. I loved how everyone retained a kind of magical, fantastical quality to them, even when their flaws made them seem very real.

The mood is unbelievably creepy and good. The creepiness just hovers around the edges, making you think something scary and horrible is going to happen throughout the whole book and the climax/twist is perfect. The ending is perfect. This is an example of excellent storytelling. I can't think of anything I'd do to improve it. In fact, the minute I finished it, I flipped it back to page one and started to reread. It's that good, guys.

Important: To be fair, I would add that the reviews on Amazon are not particularly positive, but the criticism mostly seems to be, "This is not as good as The Time Traveler's Wife." To which, I would disagree. If you are looking for something that is LIKE TTTW, you are going to be disappointed. Also, if you don't like reading literary fiction and are more of a BANG GIVE ME QUICK-ACTION PLOT NOW person, you will also probably be disappointed.

The other criticism is that people cannot seem to suspend their disbelief when it comes to the twins' strange habits and their decisions towards the end. I find this particularly strange as criticism, because hello, Audrey Niffenegger is the person who wrote a graphic novel called The Three Incestuous sisters; if you're not expecting lurid, weird, social-norm breaking, and magical realism, then honestly, Audrey is probably not the author for you.

So, take what you will from that, pro and con.

Things You Love and Hate

2010-07-09T19:00:00.000-07:00

I am notoriously good at having hypocritical relationships with things. Here are two things I almost always have when I'm writing, yet are TOTALLY BAD for my writing.

1) Internet. My family is in-between Internet companies, so we don't have Internet at home anymore. While this is driving me crazy, it's turned out to be crazy-good for my writing. Turns out 50% of the time I'm "writing," I'm actually on the Internet, pretending to do "research." Facebook counts as research, right? So without the Internet, I no longer have to do "research," which means I am mostly writing when I say I am writing.

2) Coffee. Coffee is to me the way Twizzlers are to LiLa. I have somehow convinced my brain that my best writing comes as a result of caffeine, which turns out to be a complete lie. Because recently, when I have caffeine, I start having heart palpitations. Yeah, I'm being serious. It does that weird fluttery thing and I feel like I can't breathe unless I loosen my clothes and go somewhere cool. This is, undoubtedly, bad for my health, and yet every time I go to a cafe (because I have also somehow convinced my brain that my best writing comes as a result of being in a cafe), I buy coffee. Not to mention the caffeine makes me really jumpy and practically unable to focus on one thing for more than 5 seconds. I don't know why this is happening. I used to drink coffee almost every morning during school. Hmmm. But honestly, I should probably stop because I don't want my heart to stop functioning.

Is there anything you use as a writing crutch? (I signed up for WriteOnCon today, and now I'm super excited.)

My Children

2010-07-07T16:21:00.000-07:00

No, this is not a post about how, SURPRISE, I secretly have four kids living in my closet.*

This is a post about how funny novels are. I love reading posts from authors about how their writing process goes. They usually have unique answers. My favorite is probably Libba Bray's, who famously said, "I drank lots and lots of coffee, and I cried a lot. Also, I've heard I didn't smell good." This is probably closer to truth than anything I've heard.

But the funny part is how no matter the number of novels you've written and how much you think you have a writing process figured out, it seems like every novel requires a different approach. Like children. Each novel has similarities in style and voice, but also enough differences to show that no, we are not being churned out of a machine.

Recently, I started working on a third novel, and it made me laugh how much different this one was than my last two. Better, for one. My favorite part of starting something new is how noticeably better than writing is, simply because there has been more writing before it. Practice makes perfect. Or improvement, at least.

My first novel swirled around in my head for at least a couple of years. I plotted it out and replotted it out on notecards. My second novel came in a dream. I wrote long character biographies just so I could get to know the characters better. The third one is the scariest for me. For one thing, it's only been around for couple of months in my head. Secondly, it came with a title (The Forever City), which almost none of what I write does. Thirdly, this novel fully encompasses what E. L. Doctorow said: "Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."

At least, I hope I can make the whole trip that way. Other than a bare, skeletal concept of what is going on, I have no idea what the next scene will entail. I've just been seeing as far ahead as the next couple of paragraphs and doing it that way. I would not consider myself a pantser. I don't like this method. It freaks me out not knowing where I'm going next. But the novel seems to know where it's going, so I guess I have to trust it.

PS I have also been reminded of how much I hate beginnings. They are so awkward and you feel like you have to kick off with something profound and beautiful, when you really know you're probably going to rewrite it four hundred times in the future, so whatever you're putting down doesn't even matter.

*Seriously, I don't have kids, I promise.

**Sorry if I haven't been following your blogs closely in recent days. My family's Internet has been spotty and we're switching companies, so yeah.

My Worst Fear

2010-06-30T14:44:00.000-07:00

I am a fearful person. I have a list of fears that is like a hundred bullet points and growing. There are a bunch of stupid, irrational fears:

Sharks. Even though I don't live remotely near the ocean.
Bees and wasps. Anything that could sting me.
Dragonflies. They used to be called the Devil's Darning Needle in the past! Plus, those buggy little eyes freak me out.
Butterflies. I am afraid of anything that is insect-like with wings, regardless of how benign they might be.
Lightning. Taking a class on Severe and Hazardous Weather did not soothe those fears.
Illness. I am basically a hypochondriac, okay. I diagnose myself with everything.
The dark. I know I'm almost twenty. I still bury myself under the blankets and refuse to leave the closet door open/look under the bed.
Mirrors. Bloody Mary? Still afraid.

Then I have more rational fears:

Loneliness.
Being forgotten.
Being disliked.
Failure.

Let me also add to that list:

Burial. My internship has convinced me that I want to be cremated. Once you know the exact processes of how a body rots (putrefaction sets in after 2-3 days, you turn green, then black, then your skin swells up and bursts, then your internal organs liquefy and leak out through your butt and don't even get me started on the chronological order of bugs that come to eat you), you decide that you would rather not go through that process.

But I am not talking about those fears. I'm talking about a more harmless fear. I always fear getting my hopes up for a book that starts out with so much promise and has such a disappointing ending. This applies to both reading and writing. But more reading, as of late. People keep coming to me to ask for reading recommendations (I guess this is maybe because they think that since I write, I must know lots of good books to recommend), but I am very shy with recommendations because I've read a whole ton of books this summer with great beginnings and poor endings. I have this fear, especially when I buy books prior to reading them, because I am always so sad when it ends up being something I probably won't reread.*

So I'm opening up the floor. Do you have any recommendations that are great from start to finish?

I just bought If I Stay by Gayle Forman. I've wanted to read it for a long time. I hate the new cover. The title and plot are already too similar to Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver (Forman's book was published first) and now the cover ALSO looks like Oliver's book. Plus, I also hate how the new book has the blurb, "Will appeal to fans of Twilight." You know how I feel about blurbs that compare books to Twilight. The popularity and wide audience of Twilight has pretty much made it a meaningless statement to compare another book to it. Plus, it is an obvious money/audience grab. Dislike. Anyway, here's to hoping that the ending will be good.

*I would just like to say I would still recommend The Memory Keeper's Daughter upon finishing it, but the middle is definitely not up to par with the beginning or end. It's repetitive and the plot moves more slowly than I would like. Also, all of the characters are highly unlikeable, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It makes them more "real," but given the extent that I thoroughly despise some of the characters, I would almost prefer the author to err on the more fictional side of things.

Two in One

2010-06-28T21:27:00.000-07:00

Yet again, late-comer to the bandwagon, I am reading The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards, published in 2005 and a NYT bestseller in 2006. The cover kind of reminds me of Number the Stars, the YA book by Lois Lowry - the negative photographic effect of it.

This book had a lot going against it in terms of my personal reading tastes. It is heavily contemporary, far too literary for the summer (you know I do a lot of chick lit, action/adventure in the summer), in the adult section, and also about morally uncomfortable topics, in this case, what is best for children with disabilities like Down Syndrome. On a blizzarding night, Dr. David Henry is forced to deliver his own twins. A boy is born healthy, but the girl is born with Down syndrome. In a split-second decision, he tells the nurse to take girl away to an institution, but the nurse keeps the baby to raise as her own. The doctor lies to his wife by telling her the girl died.

Now, you know this book is good because it was simply one of the books shelved in the cabin we stayed at in Tennessee. My dad picked it off the shelf, and I casually read the first chapter. It had me by the end of the first page. I wasn't planning on finishing it, but I saw it at Borders the other day and the compulsion was too great, so I bought it.

The story is essentially told in two parts: the story of David and Norah Henry and how their marriage slowly deteriorates from the strain of the ever-constant phantasm of the mysterious girl baby (Phoebe), and Caroline Gill, the nurse who raises Phoebe. I have read several books like this, books that are split-POV among two major characters. This is the advantage of third person, that you can flutter from one character to another and maybe give a genuinely interesting facet of the story you might otherwise lack. If I remember correctly, this is how Weronika's Where The Doves Fly was originally formatted in the early stages. However, I feel like this kind of story-telling often suffers from a great weakness. That is, one of the storylines is weaker than the other.

Sometimes, this can be a good thing because it keeps the audience in suspense. You can build the tension in the separate story lines and it is multiplied because the reader has to read each part in alternation. On the other hand, this can also get really annoying if you don't particularly care for one storyline. In The Memory Keeper's Daughter, I was far more interested in David and Norah's story. Caroline's started out very slowly in the beginning. The relationship between the married couple is pitch perfect and the slow worm that eats away at the marriage is painfully real and well-portrayed. Caroline and Phoebe just don't seem to be given the same thorough character treatment for a good quarter of the book until their story picks up.

So as of now, I am still on the fence about this method of story-telling. Opinions? Love it or hate it, the two in one technique? (Usually, by the end, these two storylines converge, and it is sometimes satisfying in itself just to see how the author pulls that together.)

By the way, I haven't finished it yet, so if you have read it, please don't spoil the end for me! I'm trying to read it as slowly as possible; I tend to rush things that are really good. The writing itself is delicate and beautiful - the kind of writing that has fellow writers gasping for delight at the sheer joy of digesting the words. Kim Edwards is a graduate of the Iowa Writers' Workshop, so THERE'S a surprise.

Things Learned This Week

2010-06-26T12:48:00.001-07:00

Just because I thought these things were important enough to merit a blog post.

1) Do not wear eye makeup to a Pixar movie. Ever. Yeah, I made that mistake when I went to Toy Story 3. I'm fairly sure my friend and I were the only people crying at the end, but I'm also fairly sure that everyone could hear us. Man, how the years go by, huh? We grew up with Andy!

2) Rubbing your ears helps you relax. Or so the radio told me yesterday. You are supposed to press your ears against your head 4-5 times and then rub the hard bony part on the backs of your ears for 20 seconds. I don't know if this actually works or if it's a placebo thing because now I expect it to happen. Oh, the funny things you learn on the radio.

3) The Hobbit is getting a new director. Remember how they were going to make The Hobbit into two movies and Guillermo del Toro was supposed to direct with Peter Jackson producing? Yeah, well, because I periodically Wikipedia Lord of the Rings, I found that del Toro apparently backed out in May. I was kind of sad until I read that Peter Jackson is now in negotiations to direct, which makes me very, very happy. I was feeling skeptical that anyone else could pull of a good book-to-movie adaptation, but I have no doubts that if Jackson does The Hobbit, it won't disappoint. Plus, lots of original cast members are coming, including Sir Ian McKellan (!!!!!!). To date, I don't believe anyone has made a movie adaptation that is equal or better than the original book, except for Lord of the Rings. I can enjoy Harry Potter and the Chronicles of Narnia movies, but they just don't measure up to the books in the slightest. Don't even get me started on Twilight.

Also, listen to this because it makes you happy (Concerning Hobbits):

Secret: You know how everyone always wants to be an elf because they're all pretty and can shoot arrows and stuff? I always wanted to be a hobbit.

Establishing A Writing Schedule

2010-06-21T21:06:00.000-07:00

Milwaukee was gorgeous and wonderful! One more city to add onto my list of places where I would like to live at some point in my life. Even if it is in Wisconsin, the land of cheeseheads and bad drivers. (I kid.) But now, I am back and it's time to get down to business again. Plus, I missed all of the corn and flatness that is Illinois, obviously.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm guessing that for a lot of up and coming writers, writing is not the only thing they have to do during the day. No matter where you are in life, your day is probably packed with other activities.

I think writers are such determined and brave people for doing what they do. I mean, check out this. It's been bookmarked in my computer for days when I feel like whining that I don't have enough time to write. I like to write. I want to write. But I like and want to do a lot of other things too. And my writing probably wouldn't be very interesting either if I sat around and did nothing except hammer words onto a page every day.

The question is, when do you write? I know some writers who write every day. I know some writers who write every other day. Some writers try for a couple times a week. Still other writers go on a dry spell for a couple of weeks and then have a burst of productivity and bang out 10,000 words at a time. Some writers write in the morning. Others, after everyone in the house has gone to bed.

I've tried both. I've written in the morning and when I've gotten inspired at 2 am. The hard part about summer is I don't have a set schedule of classes/work every day (my internship is very fluid with work times as long as I get a certain number of hours in) so I have different free time every day depending on when I decide to get up. It's hard to write at the same time every day, even though I've heard this is the best way to do it.

What do you think? When do you write every day? When is your favorite time to write? And if you had a choice in your schedule, when would you prefer to write?

Oh, also, because I am basically Rick Riordan's ~~professional book pimp~~ unpaid one-woman marketing department, check out the cover for The Lost Hero (out October 12)!

Breaking News

2010-06-17T21:41:00.001-07:00

So this is why I haven't been blog posting.

The night before:

11:00 pm. I'm totally going to bed early. I have THINGS to do tomorrow.* I need to wake up early. I am going to be proactive and go to bed at a decent hour. Hold on, I just have to do my cursory before-bed Facebook check, because you know, I might be missing something epicly important that is happening in the Facebook world.

1:30 am. Well, shit. Sometime between 11 and now I ended up on Youtube watching old Boy Meets World episodes. Whoops.

2:30 am. Actually go to bed.

Morning.

9:00 am. My alarm clock wakes me up. I deserve an extra ten minutes of sleep, I decide in my semi-conscious state. My semi-conscious state has a very different way of looking at the world and decision making process than my conscious state. Push snooze button.

9:10 am. Snooze.

9:20 am. Snooze.

10:30 am. Somehow, I pushed the snooze button through an hour and half of hazy bad decision making. Okay, I'm just going to sleep another ten minutes, I swear...

11:10 am. Shit. Get up. Brush my teeth. Shower.

11:30 am. DO RESEARCH, OMG, I HAVE A MEETING AT THE MUSEUM TODAY. (For the record, you never want/need to know how prevalent necrophilia is in this world. You really don't want/need to know what kind of nasty stuff happens at funeral homes sometimes. It is also really not helping out my case as a normal person that I know the various stages of human body decay now. It makes me not want to die in the near future. Or ever.)

12:30 pm. Time for lunch/Barefoot Contessa on Food Network.

1:00 pm. DO MORE RESEARCH, OMG.

1:30 pm. I'm not wearing publicly acceptable clothes! Change. Put on makeup. Straighten ridiculous, uncooperative hair.

1:50 pm. Drive, drive, drive to the museum.

2:10 pm. Am late for meeting like I always am. Talk about interesting things. Display my pretty outlines of things I am going to write. I am studious. I am organized. I am the picture of responsible intern.

3:10 pm. OMG FORGOT ABOUT LITTLE BROTHER. Must drive home and send him to tennis by 3:30. Am really late.

3:40 pm. Get my brother to tennis. Go to Borders and do LSAT problems out of my PowerScore Bible. Finish two logic games in the amount of time it is supposed to take to finish four. Miss three questions. Panic a little about my future and the state of my life. I am never going to get into law school. Elle Woods has fooled me with her breezy LSAT studying ways. I am not glamorous when I study. I resemble a drowning muskrat, perhaps.

4:45 pm. Mother calls. Go pick up your brother, she says. Drive, drive, drive to pick up brother.

5:15 pm. Get home. Straighten ridiculously uncooperative hair. Put on concert dress. Eat food.

6:10 pm. Drive to theater. Am late. Opening night for Once Upon A Mattress.

7:30 pm - 10:00 pm. Show. Fail a lot at playing coherently, but I'm a flutist so nobody can hear me anyway. It's all good.

10:30 pm. Go home. I'm so going to bed early. Really.

Repeat.

Notice how writing did not figure into this schedule. Also, blogging. But this time, I have something important to say. Elana Johnson, Lisa and Laura Roecker, Casey McCormick, Shannon Messenger, and Jamie Harrington are hosting the first ever WriteOnCon (August 10th-12th). What is that, you ask? It is the first ever online writers conference for kidlit writers (children, middle grade, and YA), and you can go here for more information. I'm sure you all know about this already, and I'm completely late to the game. As you can see, I'm late to a lot of things. I run on Asian time. But I think you should all register because there will be a lot of cool people in attendance (agents, authors, and more!) + me. And it's online and FREE, which is great! Because I don't have money and/or parental permission to go to an event somewhere.

Once in a lifetime chance, guys. Check it out, at least. And now I'm going to bed. No, really. I'm absolutely not watching Boy Meets World, what are you talking about.

*I'm roadtripping to Milwaukee this weekend to visit friends, which is why I'm trying to be more responsible before I go, otherwise I'd spend the whole day reading, watching empty TV like Phineas and Ferb, and eating.

Things Gleaned From Summer So Far

2010-06-08T15:48:00.000-07:00

1) I read a sci-fi book: THE ADORATION OF JENNA FOX. Which is totally breaking my boundaries because when I say, "I'm going to be more adventurous with my reading choices," what I really mean is, "I'm going to be more adventurous with my reading choices not including sci-fi." I suppose you could say it doesn't count because it's still YA, but I think it counts. Also, I am going to read LEVIATHAN by Scott Westerfeld next, which is...I don't even know how to classify it. Is it the ever-illusive steampunk? Somebody define steampunk for me. Okay, go.

2) I shadowed at my local newspaper last week. It was fun! It was sad because the place is so understaffed that it is mostly empty at night. But the people who were there were very cool. And it makes me kind of depressed because if the newspaper industry didn't have a dismal outlook and if my parents wouldn't completely disown me and if I hadn't already gone two years toward my current major and if I wouldn't basically be unemployed for long amounts of time in which I would be forced to ask for parental financial support, I would totally major in journalism. That's a lot of if's. In an alternate universe, though, journalism would be my life's calling. (On the other hand, in another alternate universe, Food Network Chef is my life's calling as well.)

3) I signed up for the summer musical pit again this year, because I am incapable of saying no to things. Last year, it was Beauty and the Beast and we got pictures with all of the costumed cast members. This year, it's Once Upon A Mattress, which is not nearly as fun to get dorky cast pictures with, but oh well.

Belle's father, Maurice, being a pimp with the pit girls.

4) The Bloomington Public Library hates me. No, it is absolutely true. I had the worst time trying to get a library card there. So, background. I live in twin cities, so there are two public libraries. I usually use my mom's Normal Public Library card, because either card applies to either library. But I go to the BPL because I think they might have some more stuff on my internship research topic. They say I have to register the Normal card (Normal definitely doesn't make you do this). I can't, because it's my mom's card. Okay, fine. I'll just get a card at Bloomington. But my driver's license has my old address, even though it's still a Bloomington address. So I have to drive home and get a piece of mail that has my current address. Then, when I FINALLY get my card, they tell me I have a 20 cent fine, which is impossible because I just got the card thirty seconds ago. It takes them ten minutes to finally clear it off my card and then some man elbows me on the way out without even apologizing. That was not a fun experience.

5) What also is not a fun experience is checking out a stack of books on cemeteries (I'm doing research on the history of cemeteries for a non-fiction book the museum is planning on publishing) and everybody gives me weird looks like I'm a creeper.

Shiny and New

2010-06-02T21:45:00.000-07:00

I just got back from my family vacation to the Smokies. We rented a summer house/cabin thing on the mountainside, and it was totally gorgeous. It was gorgeous, but I'm glad to be back because there are only so many days I can spend in the company of people 24/7, especially if they are all Asians, which you should know by now, have some of the most obnoxious mannerisms ever. They like to repeat things (jokes, advice, criticism, you name it). They also are horrible at ordering on menus because they are epicly indecisive and tend to squabble about dishes in their native language which only results in very confused waitresses. And, perhaps this is only a my-brother thing, but he is seriously the worst backseat driver I have ever encountered in my life. He can and will point out every single turn you have to make and when you need to change lanes, even with the presence of a GPS. No lie. I wanted to punch everyone in the face by the time I got home.

But I love them, really. Just not for extended periods of time.

Shiny and new things:

1) First 47 pages of The Lost Hero, the first book in Rick Riordan's second Camp Half-Blood series, which comes out OCTOBER 12 (mark that on your calendar, kids). I was so excited when greenconverses linked it to me that I seriously almost peed myself. Well, not seriously. But I was really, really excited. Because I am the PJO fan equivalent of rabid Twi-moms for Twilight. The new main character's name is Jason. I'm hopeful for his potential, judging by the pages, even if I am convinced nobody is ever going to measure up to Percy in terms of literary badassery. Still, characters from the old crew are definitely present in this new series, so I'm pumped to see where it goes. RR rocks my socks, but makes it super hard to get to October!

2) New novel. It's getting more fleshed out by the day. I feel like this is the one I will actually see to the point of agent-worthy. My goals are a little bit different than most people's, in that I am not in a rush to submit to agents, per se. I am happy with just writing and improving for a while before I take that next step, because I don't think I'm ready for it just yet, with my circumstances being what they are. Still, I've learned a lot in the past two novels and also by writing Three, so I think I'm going to take this new one to its logical end. I'm nervous, but also ready to get this show on the road.

3) The day has been long in coming, and some people now hate me for this, but I've read my first Sarah Dessen novel. I actually enjoyed it, despite my tendency to shy away from chick lit. I have been trying to be more adventurous with my reading tastes in my summer reading list, and I think it's paying off so far. I've read a lot of styles I might not have otherwise. Basically, I'm jumping on the Sarah Dessen bandwagon, and I'm most likely going to check out some of the other books in her rather large collection too.

Any shiny and new things for you?

Beginnings and Endings

2010-05-27T20:09:00.001-07:00

The second most exciting part about writing: starting a new story. Writing the beginning.

The most exciting part about writing: The End.

So yeah, since I have nothing important to say to you all, other than that I have been studiously reading, doing LSAT problems, hanging out way too long at Borders, drinking more much coffee than is acceptable for summertime, and generally loitering around my house and burning things on the stove, I will blog about this.

I am, as it is, writing The End for Three. I know, nobody cares except my fannish readers (and I know some of you creep on my blog even though you never comment because I am all-knowing* - you are allowed to comment, by the way, I love you readers). But it is so exciting to write the end of something, and I feel the obligatory need to do a post on it, just because most people do a post when they finish something, and I rarely finish things worth posting about. I value everything I write, because it is all part of the process of improving and learning what works best.

I am so excited that I can't even sit still long enough to actually write it. I sent this email to my writerly buddy who has seen me through nearly six months and 50,000 words of this fic:

"I am writing the last scene of Part Three. SO CLOSE. I AM ALMOST THERE. I feel like I've been giving birth and the baby has finally crowned."

Not asking you to celebrate with me or anything, because it's not like this fic is going to get extensive editing, but it has been doing a great job in getting me back to writing. I love summer and the ridiculous amount of time you can spend procrastinating but still end up writing more than you do during the year.

In other news, I think I forgot to blog about this a while back, but a squirrel attacked my leg (unprovoked), thus ending my love affair for chasing small, furry animals whenever I see them.

Tell me a funny story. About writing, being attacked by rodents, or otherwise.

Do not, I REPEAT, do not google-image "squirrel," because you'll get a picture of a man with a skinned squirrel in a pan with squirrel pie next to it. This picture was SO not worth it. Don't say I didn't warn you.

*AKA I have StatCounter.

Friday Favorites

2010-05-21T14:30:00.001-07:00

Taking a break.

Today, I went outside to take a walk. It was one of those hot, humid days where the smell of grass is heavier in the air than normal for some reason. It's been raining for the past three-ish days. We have a lake with a walking trail in our neighborhood and since the sun came out, I thought it would be a good idea to get some sun. I am pale like a vampire, a sallow-yellow Asian vampire. It was one of those perfect summer days where the sky is the deepest kind of blue with big, chunky white-gray clouds in the sky. Farther away, the darker cumulonimbus clouds were stacked on top of each other, heavy with rain, but they were moving away.

The water from the rain had pooled on the trail in some parts, the whole width, and I was wearing those flip flops that shouldn't really get wet. I think they're made of woven bamboo and cloth or something - something summery I got from American Eagle last summer. The grass on either side was wet too. So I decided to be spontaneous. I rolled up my skinny jeans and splashed across the puddles with bare feet, holding my shoes. Old people on bikes rode by and stared at me.

I tried to dry off my feet on drier grass later, but it didn't work very well, so I ended up giving up and putting my shoes back on. I smiled at everybody who walked by, even the ones who stared. I walked back home with muddy feet and muddy shoes and started to write.

Sometimes, splashing in puddles gives you inspiration.

Cut the Crap

2010-05-17T22:28:00.000-07:00

Okay, there are a lot of different parts of the writing process that I hate, but this is probably the part that I hate the most. You know the feeling you get when you're just cruising and the words come like water?

This is the opposite, when everything you come up with seems like the worst thing to ever be put in the written word. And it's frustrating because you can't get to the good stuff until you churn out at least five pages of crap. You try everything to skip this step, but you CAN'T. This happens a lot when I take a break from writing. I have to write a ton of crap before I start feeling satisfied with what is going on at my fingertips.

This is me, being frustrated. Except not a man. The facial expression is similar, though.

I had 27,000 words of the third part of Three (my fan fiction; bear with me, I am obligated to finish it because it's basically novel length and it would be lame to quit). I was just so unhappy with it that I knew I couldn't finish it unless I did editing. Hardcore editing. So I gritted my teeth and cut 5,000 words. That is a lot of words. Then I wrote 2,000 words just to get myself writing again. They were crap. Crap, I tell you. I basically created an argument between characters just so I could create dialogue. I saved it, went to bed, and realized that it was completely untrue to the characters. Why would they randomly get in an argument? I was making a cardinal mistake in telling my characters what to do because it was part of my master plan. Feeling like an idiot, I laid in bed and asked for the first time in a long time - for my characters to talk to me.

And this is why I have a blog. Because non-writers would think this is psycho. Who talks to people who aren't even real? What size straitjacket do you think they'll put me in if I ever casually remark on this in public?

It worked, though. Really, it did. (Thanks, Anne Lamott, for teaching me to turn off radio station KFKD.) Today, I cut those 2,000 words and wrote 2,000 words in replacement and I think - knock on wood - that I am past that churning out crap stage to the point where I can write things I can leave on the page.* And it makes me very, very happy.

But I still hate the crap stage. Why does it have to exist?

*I am really paranoid that I will wake up tomorrow morning and be ragingly unhappy with what I wrote, just because I typed up this post.

Summer Days

2010-05-15T16:36:00.000-07:00

Got through finals week and now I'm home and the summer begins! Hopefully, I'll be blogging more regularly now that I have more time. I'm a planner kind of person, so here's my list of summer goals:

1) Reading list! I went to the library today and checked out CYBELE'S SECRET (Juliet Marillier) and DEVILISH (Maureen Johnson) on my booklist. Now, I can legitimately stalk Maureen's blog without feeling like a creeper, because I'll actually have read her stuff. For my "unknown" book, I picked up MIDNIGHT BLUE (Pauline Fisk). Checked out FOLLOW THE BLUE (Brigid Lowry) for a reread. I'm trying to make sure each time I go, I come back with at least two different genres for some variety.

Conveniently, I have THE RED PYRAMID (Rick Riordan) at home. You see, he is the only author, and I mean the only author, that my brother and I both like. My brother doesn't even like Harry Potter. And luckily, this time, he texted me and told me he bought it. We have learned our lesson, folks. We have two copies of THE LAST OLYMPIAN because we didn't coordinate last time. Rick Riordan, we are bringing you serious business, my brother and I.

2) I have a for-credit internship at my local history museum, doing research on American cemetaries and cemetary walks (I know this sounds really morbid, but I think cemetaries have a lot of cool history). Also, possibly working in the archives. This will give me a good leg-up when I have to continue doing research junior and senior year for my major.

3) LSAAAAAT.* It's that time of my life. I bought the Powerscore Bibles today and I'm planning on studying in the mornings (so it doesn't get in the way of the rest of my life). I'm trying to be as positive about this as possible. The end goal is a Tier 1 law school. My GPA is pretty kickin' so if I can get a good test score, I'll be good to go.

4) Write. I barely had time to write this semester at all, mainly because I had to spend a majority of my afternoons and nights at the newspaper. I really want to get back in the swing of things, maybe start a new novel if I can, and if I can't, well - writing a page a day seems like a decent goal to get the juices flowing. The most important thing is that I just remember to write, so it becomes a habit again.

5) HEADS YOU WIN! and THE CONCISE GUIDE TO COPY-EDITING (Paul LaRocque). Also, AP STYLEBOOK. As copy chief, I want to improve my headline-writing and my familiarity with AP style. I think it's important for me to set a good example to the copy-editors, so therefore, it's time to brush up my own skills. Especially since I'm at a disadvantage not being a journalism major and have little exposure with AP style in class. So lots of newspaper reading and perusing the AP stylebook in my free time. It's dorky, whatever. But you should know that I'm a super competitive person; when I have a task or a job or anything, I like to be the best.

6) Do more exercise. I am super lazy and unfit. I get away with it because I am a petite Asian and since I'm not epicly obese, everybody thinks I'm healthy. It's a total lie, though. I eat whatever and whenever I want. I'm going to take advantage of the summer and start an exercise regimen because I never exercise at school.

I'm also planning on going to Chicago several times, because luckily for me, my college friends pretty much all live there. And before you ask, YES THERE ARE OTHER CITIES IN ILLINOIS. On my high school band trip, we went to San Antonio, Texas, and one of the ranchers on the dude ranch asked, "So...do you have to go to Chicago to buy your groceries every week? It's two hours away."

And this coming from someone who lived on a ranch in the middle of nowhere. We do, in fact, have businesses and living places larger than a village outside of the Chicagoland area, thanks.

Long post. Summer plans, anyone?

PS I googled "summer midwest" for a picture, and I got a bunch of photos of people holding up fish. *facepalm*

*Meant to be said out loud in the tone that is a mixture between bone-crunching pain and my-house-just-burned-down-because-the-poptart-in-my-toaster-set-it-on-fire despair.

**Totally unrelated: My mom told me last night that she was worried because we don't have earthquake insurance. I told her we don't live on any fault lines. "But there are a lot of earthquakes in the world right now!" Mom, you have a Ph.D in statistics, HOW DOES YOUR BRAIN WORK SOMETIMES? *more facepalm*

Friday Favorites

2010-05-07T11:09:00.000-07:00

Fierce heroines!

What is the definition of a fierce heroine? I think it's a girl who can do what the boys do, who has a multi-faceted personality, and matures and learns over the course of a novel. A tough question for the industry today: why are books always marketed toward a particular demographic? You've all seen those headless girls on pink covers that immediately mean: CHICK LIT ALERT. Why is it that "boy" novels have crossover potential for gender and girl novels almost never do?

If girls can like reading books about boys, then why can't boys like reading books about girls?

I don't know the answers to these questions, but I think it's definitely important that books continue being written about independent female characters who are not defined by their love interests or anyone else in their lives. They define themselves. What is your definition of a fierce heroine?

My friend, greenconverses, is starting a blog about fierce heroines and keeping up a discussion about girls in YA literature. Check it out here and join the conversation!

Funny Things My Mom Says

2010-05-04T21:47:00.000-07:00

This is a triple whammy post. Firstly, because May is Asian-American Heritage Month, and my mom is Chinese. Secondly, because it's almost my mom's birthday. And thirdly, because it is also almost Mother's Day. Conveniently, this year, my mom's birthday and Mother's Day fall on the same day - May 9. So this post is for all of you non-Asians who have truly missed out on the hilarities of life - because your mom probably isn't as inadvertently funny as mine (probably also isn't as controlling, but eh, it's a give-and-take situation).

My mom likes to add random extra endings to words.

1) Instead of saying "olives," she says "olivers." No matter how many times I correct her, I cannot disabuse her of this pronunciation. I've stopped trying. Her English is what it is.

2) Instead of saying "Harry Potter," she says "Harry Pottery."

Or she just distorts words beyond recognition:

3) She says "War-Mart" instead of "Wal-Mart."

4) Ever since I was little, she used to tell me I was going to go to Harvard. (That turned out well, as you can see.) Except she pronounced it "Hah-Full." So until I went to high school, I thought that was how the number one university in our country was pronounced. Hah-Full.

My mom is really bad at being racially sensitive. Sorry for being offensive, in advance.

5) "I think Obama is good-looking. But I think it's because he looks like his white grandpa, except he's black." ---Errrr, okay.

6) Sometimes, my family watches Family Guy together, minus my mom, because she doesn't get it. Once, she walked into the room, saw Cleveland (the black character) on TV, pointed and said, "Is that supposed to be Obama?" ---No, Mom. Not everyone who is black on TV is Obama. And yes, she was serious.

And my favorite thing of all:

7) Once, when my mom and I got in a fight, I started rolling my eyes at her and apparently being disrespectful* and she yelled back at me, "Stop using your stupid American sarcasm! I don't understand it! I'm Chinese!"

Love you, Mom, even if you can't understand British accents. Even if you don't "get" dishwashers and have to rinse out cups in hot tea at restaurants and even if you don't like modern medicine and believe that peanut butter and cucumbers in combination causes cancer. Even if you call me to ask me to creep on Facebook for you and have everyone in the community's ACT score memorized. Even if you ask me to help you fill out employee performance reports. Even if you yell into phones like that is effective if you are talking to someone far away. I still wouldn't have it any other way.

Picture from 2002 at Niagara Falls. My brother and I look really thrilled. Because we are Asian, we have to document every life experience ever. Hence, the camera around my mom's neck and the camcorder around my dad's. This, thankfully, was before I got braces and decided to grow my hair out to inhuman lengths.

*That is so debatable. WHEN AM I EVER DISRESPECTFUL, COME ON.

The Official Summer Reading List

2010-05-02T00:06:00.000-07:00

OSRL. Here it is. I waited until May to make it more legit. Two more weeks, and then I'll be able to read all of the books I want that don't have to do with any of the following topics: Reconstruction, Ghana, Kwame Nkrumah, Oliver Cromwell, or the Stuarts. Hooray! The following books are in no particular reading order. Some are recycled from earlier lists because I never got to them. My goal is to finish all of them, plus the Summer Challenge. This list is a living document; I will be adding to it as the summer goes on.

1) The Wager. Donna Jo Napoli.

2) The Red Pyramid. Rick Riordan.

3) When I Was Older. Garret Freymann-Weyr.

4) After the Moment. Garret Freymann-Weyr.

5) If I Stay. Gayle Forman.

6) The Hunger Games, etc. Suzanne Collins.

7) Leviathan. Scott Westerfeld.

8) Devilish. Maureen Johnson.

9) Queen of Camelot. Nancy McKenzie.

10) The White Queen. Philippa Gregory.

11) Graceling. Kristin Cashore.

12) Cybele's Secret. Juliet Marillier.

13) Sisters Red. Jackson Pearce.

14) His Dark Materials. Philip Pullman.

15) Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet. Jamie Ford.

16) Shiver. Maggie Stiefvater.

17) The Great Gatsby. F. Scott Fitzgerald.

18) Elsewhere. Gabrielle Zevin.

19) The Truth About Forever. Sarah Dessen.

20) Things You Either Hate or Love. Brigid Lowry.

21) Avalon High. Meg Cabot.

22) After. Amy Efaw.

23) Psych Major Syndrome. Alicia Thompson.

24) The Sevenwaters Trilogy. Juliet Marillier.

25) A Blue So Dark. Holly Schindler.

Thanks to greenconverses for staying up until 3 am* with me to help me come up with books on my list (and also to keep me company while I write 4 billion essays for school). This is how our conversation degenerated in the early hours of the morning (keep in mind that I had two Hot Pockets today):

Me: You are right; I'm starting to regret that Hot Pocket. From that overly bloated feeling you get when it starts to digest.

Her: Hahaha. But it was delicious while you had it.

Me: Meh. Lol. The ham and cheese one was better this morning.

Her: ...did you have a breakfast pocket?

Me: I did...

Her: I'd judge you hardcore right now, but my breakfast consisted of Burger King soooo...

And what you have learned now is that college students eat about one step above homeless people. Maybe not even. The night before I had beer and Ramen noodles. So there you go. There is going to be a day when even my Asian metabolism can't handle my eating habits.

*Nope, just kidding. It's 5 am, and we're still on AIM. This right here is true friendship of the writerly kind.

Summer Challenge

2010-04-28T21:55:00.000-07:00

Let me ask you a question. How do you decide what books to read? I'm serious. Do you spin around and point at a random book in a bookstore? Do you look on Amazon for good reviews? Do you read every NYT bestseller? I'm compiling a summer reading list (yup, it's that time of year again). How do books get on my list? They're recommendations or they're authors that I stay loyal to. Once an author gets a good fan base, things are kickin'. They can usually count on the same people to buy their books, providing they stay within their genre. And that's great news.

But that's not such great news if you're a debut author and nobody knows who you are. There are plenty of books that sit on the shelf of Borders, spines out, which makes it really hard for even the cover to catch anyone's attention. Being a debut author can be a hard life that involves a lot of promotion and hoping that word-of-mouth will pick up.

How many books by debut authors do you pick up every year? My bet is not a lot. And that is a pretty sad thing, because I will admit that I'm not a big new-author-reader either. This past year, I picked up a couple new books just because they caught my eye in the library and you know what? They were awesome! My favorite new find is Garret Freymann-Weyr. She has herself a new loyal reader and her other books are definitely on my summer list. It can be a fun thing to try something out of your usual reading circle.

So I'm setting a goal for this summer: for every two books on my Official Summer Reading List (OSRL), I will pick up one book that I've never seen or heard of before. Hopefully, by the end of the summer, I'll have a lot of new favorite authors and a whole crop of talent whose work I can look forward to for their entire careers.

Want to join me in my summer challenge? It's easy and pain-free! Let's do it.

In A Dry Spell

2010-04-26T11:29:00.000-07:00

It's probably not a secret that I haven't written in a month. (Oh, to be back in the throes of NaNoWriMo, when good or bad, at least I wrote every day). It's probably not a secret because if you've noticed, I've only blogged four times in April. I've said before that I don't believe in writer's block, and I still think that's true. Writer's block is just something your brain creates to give you an excuse to not write. So if you acknowledge it's real, then you're putting the blame on your lack of writing on something other than yourself.

It's absolutely my fault that I haven't written in a while. So what do you think I should do to fix this problem? I'm asking you for ideas to get out of this dry spell (other than, of course, "letting my brain rest for a day" because my brain's done plenty of resting in the past month, trust me). Help a sister out, will you?

Two more things:

My friend Jill made a banner for my blog so I changed the template to match it (she is the best). We spend way too much time at work, and we are running out of fashion magazines to read in our down time, apparently. The end of the month is hardest - come on, new issue of Cosmo; we are waiting for you!

Tomorrow. Yes, April 27, 2010. Donna Jo Napoli's new book, The Wager, will be released in bookstores and online. As a general rule, I read all of her YA publications, regardless of whether I think they look interesting or not, because the world may end tomorrow, but Donna's (we are going to be on a first-name basis now) writing will still be reliably perfect. However, The Wager actually does sound pretty cool. I can't wait to read her characterization of the devil. I'm sure it will be brilliant and I will have a new favorite from her collection. Check it out!

Is Writing Fun?

2010-04-19T18:55:00.000-07:00

Rachelle Gardner did a post on this recently, and I think it's never a bad time to revisit this question. I find that many writers have universal experiences which makes it so easy for us to relate to each other.

I have this theory, see, that writers are the whiniest people ever. We whine when we have to sit for hours on end and the final result is about 500 words, and 500 bad words that we're probably going to end up cutting out later anyway. We whine when the plot doesn't go our way. We whine when our characters decide to not do what we planned for them to do in the beginning and RUIN OUR WHOLE GRAND MASTER PLAN, DAMN THEM. Just who is in charge here? Then we glumly admit that we are not in charge at all and whine about that. We whine about the unwieldiness of first drafts, and we whine about the tediousness of editing. When we're doing one, we always say it's the worst part of the process and reminisce wistfully about the other. We must be thoroughly unpleasant people to be around when we're in one of our "writer moods," which is probably why we hang around each other on the Internet. If anyone listened in our our conversations to our writerly friends, they'd probably think we were bitter people who hate what we do (or maybe mentally unstable people who hate what we do). I mean, we're never happy with what we have! Or very rarely anyway. One minute, your project can be the most wonderful thing ever, the thing you carried in your head for nine months and birthed in glory like some kind of postmodern delivery of Athena, the thing that brings you joy and light to your eyes, and you would never ever EVER part with it, and the next minute, you're about to throw that shit out the window and maybe rip it into pieces and burn it for good measure just so if you kicked the bucket in the next 24 hours, it wouldn't be able to tarnish your name after death.

Admit it. We are whiny. Do we even enjoy writing? It's like being in labor, except being in labor ALL THE TIME. Without drugs. Well, I guess you could do it with drugs and some authors did.* I think sitting in front of a computer screen staring at a blank document and not being able to come up with anything is the worst feeling in the world. It makes me cranky and irritable and gives me headaches and I am thoroughly miserable when it takes me so long to come up with 500 crappy words.

But I also don't think I've ever thought about giving up writing for good. It doesn't even cross my mind. Why would it? I've just spent the last two weeks without writing because my schedule doesn't permit it and it's not a good feeling. It's like there's always something niggling at me to get back on track. I think for most writers, it is this way. You can try to run away from it, but it will follow you everywhere, like a stalker. Into your bed before you go to sleep. Into the shower. Maybe it hangs from the light fixtures when you go shopping for junk food at Meijer. So you know what? I think it is a universal truth that not writing makes a writer more miserable than writing ever could. For all of our whining, we know it to be true.

Besides, I think it is also a universal truth that when you get those moments when everything flows (you know what I'm talking about), you feel like you just flew so high you found yourself orbiting the moon. When you finally write "the end," it's even better.

And that's pretty fun, I'd say.

*I do not recommend easing the pain of writing with drugs. You could end up famous, but you could also end up dying in a gutter with your brain swelling into your skull wearing someone else's clothes and drunkenly calling out random, cryptic names (like how Edgar Allan Poe was found). Also, much worse things could happen nowadays. Imagine if Edgar Allan Poe had Twitter or a BlackBerry when he was drunk. He'd probably drunk-text everybody and it would be all much more embarrassing than even dying in someone else's clothes in a gutter, which is pretty embarrassing in and of itself. He'd probably end up on Texts From Last Night and his publicity would be so bad that his agent and publisher would drop him and he wouldn't even be famous.

So really. in this day and age, you can't afford to be a drugged up author wearing a beret and writing in cursive with pens, no matter how misleading my picture is.

Unless you're J.K. Rowling. Then, as Maureen Johnson said, you could write everything on paper napkins and toss them into the sea one by one and your publisher would send out people to go fetch them and blow dry them and transcribe your priceless words onto a Microsoft document.

But. You are not J.K. Rowling.

Blurbs

2010-04-11T13:40:00.000-07:00

Blurbs are the things on the inside flap or on the back of a book that provides one-sentence or more praise for the book, generally by popular authors. Because I don't want to single out any authors or blurbs or books, an example would be like, "The book Awesomesauce is a paranormal romance with a twist for the ages at the end. I fasted for three days because I was so enraptured by the gorgeous prose that I couldn't put down the book to eat." -Author McAuthorFace, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Schmarry Schmotter and the Schmampires of Schmilight.

For publishers and up and coming authors, it can be a big deal to get a nice blurb from a well-known, well-respected author with a hefty fan base. But I wonder if it is a big deal for readers? I mean, I don't go out of the way to find books my favorite authors have blurbed. I tend, much more, to read books that my friends (bloggy and RL) recommend. Their opinions are more valued to me than those of a person I've never met who may or may not have been paid or owed a debt or felt obligated in some way to write a blurb.

Note that, I'm not saying that blurbs aren't sincere, but I've certainly noticed books with blurbs from people who are quite publicly friends with the author of the book. I've also noticed books with blurbs from husband and wife authors, which I mean, REALLY? The average joe reader might not notice this, but I did, and it kind of cheapened the book for me because the marketing team did a sloppy job with that one.

So my question is, do blurbs make a difference to you when you're looking for a new book to read?

PS I don't know about you, but I'm a little tired of blurbs that say things like, "THIS IS THE NEW TWILIGHT," or "THIS IS A TWILIGHT-ESQUE ROMANCE." Please stop comparing everything that is paranormal with Twilight. I actually read a book that said on the cover that it was just that (Twilight-esque romance) and was mildly annoyed to realize at the end of the book that romance was not the main focus AT ALL because the main love interest dies halfway through and is pretty much never mentioned again. Dear blurber, please actually read the book before you compare it to Twilight.

Oh Sister, Where Art Thou?

2010-04-06T17:39:00.000-07:00

Today, I'm going to tell you a ~~tragic~~ funny story. Once upon a time, when I was a wee child of six, I lived in a fairy tale land. I was an only child. At the time, I was an idiot and didn't appreciate this fact. No, I wanted a sibling. So when my mom got pregnant for a couple months, I didn't believe her, kept telling her she was just getting fat - which trust me, is EXACTLY what your pregnant mother wants to hear, so TRY IT because I guarantee it'll be fun for the whole family I got very, very excited this is, of course, after I stopped calling her fat and accepted her pregnancy. I really wanted a baby sister. We could share clothes and share makeup (hypothetically, one day; I didn't wear makeup at the age of six like ~~Suri Cruise~~ some people) and be BFFs forever, just like all of the sisters on TV. I was so set on having a baby sister that I bet my dad ten bucks (my dad taught me awesome skills in my formative years like making bets you will never win) that it was going to be a girl rather than a boy. No big deal, except for that fact that I stuck to my guns after the ultrasound that clearly indicated it was going to be a boy.

I was not the brightest crayon in the box, with the "mom you're fat" and then the "it's a girl, I swear!"

Anyway, of course, the sibling gods were against me and I was ~~cursed~~ gifted with a baby brother instead. This was very devastating, not least because my dad kept rubbing it in that he had a son now and he won the bet, but also because COME ON, who was I supposed to have my stereotypical sister camaraderie with? I mean, come to think of it, the sibling gods were against me, ultrasound or no. If we had stayed in China, I would've not had a sibling at all because of the One Child Law, and my parents were set on having a boy because they wanted "one of each." Overrated, I say.

But wait! All of my childhood woes can be erased by this wonderful contest, set by Lisa and Laura Roecker to celebrate 500 followers. One of the possible gifts is a t-shirt that would officially christen me the winner, the fourth Roecker sister. And I know all of you care about my emotional well-being, so you know it is necessary for me to win this t-shirt so I can officially move on with my sister-less life.

~~Also, I would be able to use them to get to Libba Bray.~~ Sisters share makeup and clothes and friends and famous author connections, yes?

Go check out the contest! Lisa and Laura are totally amazing, and their book LIAR SOCIETY is coming out Spring 2011.

Encouragement For Wednesdays

2010-03-30T18:04:00.000-07:00

Since everyone else is doing some kind of positivity week, and my Monday post started the week out on an uplifting note, I thought I'd just carry it through to the end of the week. So instead of saying something that I'd no doubt botch up and wouldn't be very inspirational at all, I'll leave it to a very wise hobbit, who said something once that I always remember.

"It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were; and sometimes you didn't want to know the end, because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it'll shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances to turn back only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding onto something."

-Samwise Gamgee

PS Everyone seems to really hate on Frodo, so I'm going to clarify my position on everyone's favorite hobbit to hate. EVERYONE IS WRONG. The end. Frodo is awesome, and I am always reduced to a human hosepipe at the end when Frodo goes to Valinor, every time without fail. Also, the part (in the movie) when he talks about how he can't remember the taste of strawberries. I'm basically watering plants out of my eyes. I think this is a good time to confess (in small print, notice, in hopes that you won't read it) that a few summers ago, I decided to become proficient in Elvish (Quenya, to be specific, because there are two Elvish languages: Quenya and Sindarin). And I did. I was so good that I could translate songs and write in ancient Elvish script and conjugate verbs in every tense 'til the cows came home. I haven't practiced at all, so I don't remember much. But I remember some. Humiliating confession #85. I can see my coolness factor dropping in your eyes. I appear so normal in real life. DON'T LET MY NORMALCY DECEIVE YOU. Beneath this socially acceptable veneer, lies a nerd, just waiting to break free in post scripts on the Internet.

PPS Frodo is still the hobbit love of my life. Sorry, Sam. Your inspirational speeches are brilliant, but alas, you're still second place in my heart.

Little Happinesses on a Monday (In Writing and Life)

2010-03-28T23:51:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, you just have to stop and remember them.*

1) The smell of coffee after you haven't had any for a week.

2) Getting a really nice review in your inbox first thing in the morning.

3) Reading a funny book (Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott).

4) Reading a really sad book that touches you so much you have nightmares about it (Alligator Bayou, Donna Jo Napoli).

5) Bringing a long story to a close.

6) Realizing as you research that your final paper isn't as boring or hard as you thought.

7) The good salad is available in the dining hall (with craisins and raspberry dressing).

8) Seeing friends again after spring break.

9) Wearing shorts.

10) Wearing sunglasses.

11) Seeing your name for the first time in the newspaper next to "copy chief."

12) Coming back to sleep in your twin sized bed where you can't get lost in the blankets (I prefer a smaller bed, call me crazy).

13) Listening to music and drinking tea.

14) Deciding to reread Harry Potter from start to finish after three years of letting the books collect dust on a bookshelf.

15) Meeting someone new.

16) Going into the main stacks of the library and actually knowing where the Africa section is this time (it's on floor nine and a half; who'd have thunk?)

17) Having just one class and having the lecture be on black holes in outer space.

18) Sleeping in.

19) Smiling.

*Make your own list! (I needed one - I have a gigantic outline for my final paper due on Wednesday and I might be pulling close to an all-nighter tonight because I work the rest of the week so I am firmly determined and equipped to be cheerful and relaxed about it all day. Stress is completely unconducive to anything, and I firmly believe you can choose to let yourself be stressed or take it all, as Anne Lamott says, bird by bird.)

Friday Favorites

2010-03-25T21:11:00.001-07:00

Covers/Titles.

The things that grab you before you even read the inside flap. You can say you don't judge a book by its cover until you're blue in the face, but nobody can maintain that as truth. There's a reason publishers spend time (and money!) figuring out exactly what is going to catch the eye of the casual bookstore browser. Here are some of my favorites. I'll admit, this is skewed toward books I've read more recently because I can remember them better.

1) Stay With Me by Garret Freymann-Weyr. The things that catch my attention the most are simple covers, and this one really does the trick. Plus, the title is gorgeous. You just want to read it. (And you should. This book didn't disappoint on the stuff inside either!)

2) Before I Die by Jenny Downham. Cover is black and white with semi-headless girl, so it's not super exciting, but the title stood out. Again, this book is wonderfully evocative, about the bucket list of a teenage girl with leukemia, but her list is not what you might expect. The story is uplifting and sad at the same time, and it had resonance.

3) The Ever After by Amy Huntley. The title looks like a photographic negative with orchids, but I liked the title. I haven't read it. It's about the afterlife, but the title evokes the idea of what happens post- happily ever after. The book, I suppose, was successful, because I did pick it up and read the inside at the bookstore, although I didn't buy it.

4) Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson. I adore the cover and the title. The whole effect is really beautiful, regardless of what I actually thought about the story (it wasn't my cup of tea, although I didn't hate it).

Other titles I liked:

Gossamer by Lois Lowry

The Last Summer (of You and Me) by Ann Brashares

When Dad Killed Mom by Julius Lester

If I Stay by Gayle Forman

A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray

Life As We Knew It by Susan Beth Pfeifer

The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan

Un Lun Dun by China Mieville

Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Jamie Ford

Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri

Guitar Highway Rose by Brigid Lowry

Yes, I think we can all agree that titles and covers are important. But you know what's more important? The content. Two anecdotes to remember and take away from this post:

I received the first Harry Potter book as a gift from my mother's friend, and I didn't read it for two years because the title and cover were hideously boring. The inside flap sucked too. I finally read it when my mother's friend was coming for a visit, and I figured I couldn't BS my way out of a conversation it ever came up (this was before Wikipedia was available and before I knew how to use the Internet). I think we all know what happened from there. For the record, the Harry Potter series is awesome, and even if I didn't think so, the rest of the world does.

Secondly, it took Twilight one month after publication to reach #5 on the NYT Bestsellers list. Sol Stein's book On Writing, which came out before the Twilight series did, says explicitly in one of the chapters that titles are important because they grab attention. Do you know what example he used as a bad title? He drew on a random word that he claimed was not flashy enough: Twilight. He said, and I remember, that the title Twilight would be bland and nobody would pick it up and it would never sell.

Ain't it funny how things work out?

Resonance

2010-03-23T18:43:00.000-07:00

I think I should start each one of my posts with a weird confession about my writing habits, but then you might all think I was psycho. But here is one: Sometimes when I write, I listen to epic instrumental (movie) music because it makes me feel like my writing might turn out more epic.

Okay, I got that out of the way. Isn't it true, though? Putting an epic soundtrack behind anything makes it sound epic. I could make putting in contacts sound epic if I put Lord of the Rings music behind it. (Sometimes, it takes me so long to put in contacts, that it really could be considered an epic task once I finally shove those buggers into my small, Asian eyes).

So I finished reading Stay With Me (Garret Freymann-Weyr) and you know when you read the ending of a book, and suddenly it feels like there should be some terrifically epic trumpet music behind it because you get that "ah ha!" moment? That is how I felt when I finished that book. Because it had resonance. I felt like that book was going to stay with me (edit: wow, that was a totally unintentional pun), that I was going to continue giving it thought later. I think that's when you can say a book officially had a successful ending, when it gives you reason to reflect on it.

It seems like an illusive quality, this resonance. Have you found a common thread in books with resonance? Or is it just something that happens when the writing is good?

(PS you know what is epic music is the soundtrack for Dragonheart, and I know this is like a 90's era film, but dammit people, if I didn't cry my freakin' eyes out when I watched it at the age of eight or whatever. I haven't seen it since, but I found the music on Youtube, and I am not lying to you when I say I was bawling by the end. Music can do that, I guess. Also, dying dragons do that.)

POV and YA

2010-03-21T21:39:00.000-07:00

It's spring break for me! Which means I have consumed almost an entire box of cookies today, slept thirteen hours in one night (to be fair, I pulled an all-nighter the night before I left college, but don't worry - it wasn't for homework; it was because my friends and I are idiots), and am being forced to confront my final paper on Pan-Africanism and decolonization in Ghana and the veritable mountain of primary sources in my bag. The horror!

It also means I can sing everywhere and all the time, which I can't do in a dorm room because it's embarrassing.

But it also means I can do more reading for fun! Right now, I've checked out Stay With Me (Garret Freymann-Weyr), Alligator Bayou (Donna Jo Napoli), and Cybele's Secret (Juliet Marillier). I have a new project being rolled around in the back of my head. The main character's name is Clare. She is half-Asian. It's an urban fantasy and has Irish/Celtic mythological influences. I haven't fully decided what POV and tense it's going to be in (sorry for the acronym-happy blog title).

It seems to me like a lot of people hate present tense. With a passion. Well, let me rephrase that. It's one of those extreme things. You either love it (like I do) or hate it to the point where you will literally put the book away because you can't handle a whole novel written in that style. It also seems like one of those things that could potentially kill your novel for publication if done badly (which is often, supposedly).

I've also noticed that progressively more people enjoy YA. I, for one, definitely read more YA than any other category. But do you think that YA has stylistic differences that set it apart from other fiction? For instance, it is not abnormal for a YA novel to be in present tense. Actually, there are a lot of novels that are in present tense. It brings the narrator and the events more directly to the reader, and I think it connects better with teens. Maybe. And maybe it's a newer movement, so it reads strangely to older readers, but not to younger ones? I've noticed a trend to present tense, especially if the author wants to talk about "serious" subjects, like present tense makes a book more "literary" and "deep." I think this way too, actually, so the quotes aren't meant to be ironic.

The point is, do you think present tense is more acceptable in the YA genre than in other ones?

Friday Favorites

2010-03-11T21:39:00.000-08:00

Teams. There are a lot of stories that involve a main character and his closest friends, going on quests, figuring out life, you know. The most obvious is probably the Golden Trio from Harry Potter: Harry, Ron, and Hermione. I'm not going to include them, because that would be unoriginal of me.

1) The Pevensies (from the Chronicles of Narnia). They're siblings, it's pretty stereotypical, but I like them anyway. They end up becoming kings and queens together, and I think I like them even better when they're grown up than when they're little kids. The Horse and His Boy is my favorite in the series, and they have great chemistry there. It's rare to see siblings crowned beside each other, so I liked that.

2) Gemma Doyle, Felicity Worthington, Ann Bradshaw, and Pippa Cross (from the Great and Terrible Beauty series, Libba Bray, ILU). Unlike a lot of main characters, I spend a lot of time ridiculing them and being ticked off at how annoying they are sometimes. This might not sound like a positive, but I do this because each character is incredibly and uniquely flawed. They could be a real group of friends. They have fallouts over stupid things and power struggles and other things teenage girls fight about, except with more magic and death. Very realistic characters and they have good chemistry together, even though they all hate each other in the beginning.

And, short post again, but I'm brain-dead and hopefully, you guys have better examples than me. Happy Friday!

Time Management, Otherwise Known As Procrastination

2010-03-09T14:37:00.001-08:00

I'm sure in the past I've had a post on this before, but this topic becomes increasingly relevant as the semester goes on. Firstly, let me just let you in a little secret that is going to make you feel better about your life. This week, I've been trying to wean myself off Facebook by using it as a reward for doing homework and timing myself when I'm on it. Did you catch that? Yeah, I am just that lame and addicted.

My life just became a lot more busy because I got promoted to copy chief for the newspaper I work at. I'm a boss in-training of people now! Theoretically, I could even FIRE people, but of course, I'm not that mean (and I'd probably need a semi-legitimate reason to fire anyone, but you know. MINOR DETAILS in the larger scheme of my AWESOME AUTHORITY). I even get to hire an assistant this week. I am so legit. I have underlings! Anyway, I thought that I would be taking over next semester, after I get training and stuff, right? Well, obviously I thought wrong. The new desk editors take over after spring break, which means I have a grand total of two and a half weeks to get my shit together and learn my new (time consuming!) job. So when we come back, all of us will be running around "like chickens with our heads cut off"* trying to figure out how to not make the paper tank.

Did I mention that I'm not even a journalism major? Apparently, I am a glutton for extra hours and responsibility and getting yelled at for failures.

Also, I joined another fashion show. Because I'm an addict and all my friends are doing it, and I fall quickly to peer pressure like that. Plus, I have all of these pretty new clothes! More excuses to wear them!

What I'm wondering now, is how am I supposed to write with all of this stuff I'm juggling? The answer is I haven't in nearly two weeks now, and I promised at least a fan fiction update yesterday. Whoops. I don't know when that's going to happen. I have two midterms coming up. I want to start a new project, but I don't know how I'm going to dedicate any serious time to it with the way my schedule is running at the moment.

I'm sure many of you are busy people too, with jobs and children and a whole host of responsibilities that I don't even want to contemplate. How do you do it? The first thing I'm starting with is trying to not be on Facebook as much, if that counts as a step. I'm trying and kind of failing!

*quote by my friend, the news editor, and I think it appropriately sums up how well I'm going to handle it when I take over.

Friday Favorites

2010-03-04T23:48:00.000-08:00

Today: Villains.

I'm going to go over the top three scariest literary villains ever. The top three scariest that I can come up with at 2:00 am when I'm supposed to be reading The Iliad, anyway. Here we go!

1) Lord Voldemort. Super obvious, but who would disagree? The guy is so scary that people don't even use his real name out loud. He is terrifying because he's pure evil, no redeeming qualities. He doesn't understand love, so he doesn't understand positive emotions at all. He is like the ultimate definition of sociopath, except with magic, so that makes it even worse.

2) The Other Mother from Coraline. She really terrifies me, probably because she takes something familiar (ie your family) and changes them into something that can hurt you. But she does it under the guise of love. And she has BUTTONS for eyes, besides wanting to sew them into yours too! Plus, she can lock you in a mirror indefinitely. I think that's pretty scary.

3) Roger Chillingsworth from The Scarlet Letter. There are a lot of characters in that book that scare me, Pearl among them. I guess I can't explain this one, but I read this book under my covers with the lights on because was so afraid.

Who are your favorite/scariest villains? Sorry for the short post, guys. My forearms hurt, for some strange reason, and I hope it's not something serious, but I should probably lay off hardcore typing for a while.

March Is Here

2010-03-01T22:57:00.000-08:00

I've been sick (again!) the past week, so I disappeared for a while. But I'm much better now, and it's officially March. Let the welcome for spring begin.

Good things about March:

1) Improving weather! During February, you can't even pretend like the weather is getting better. You get one good day and you get all excited about spring coming back and then you remember, right, it's February. Nothing good comes out of February, ever, except false alarms for warm weather and Can't Get Enough of Gump Week on AMC (yes, it was last week, and YES, I watched Forrest Gump like four times, but don't judge me; IT IS INFINITELY REWATCHABLE - especially since I had nothing to do but hold tissues up to my nose and hide under my covers).

2) Trips to the library! And I don't mean the school library where there are only nasty old non-fiction books for papers. I mean the Champaign Public Library. If you know me at all, you know that I plan out trips to the library somewhere like a week in advance. It's thirty minutes walk. I could take the bus, but I like taking walks. This library is made of all glass, surrounded by pretty trees and brick roads, plus it has a cute cafe called Latte Da and all the books you ever want to read EVER EVER and it smells deliciously of them. I only go occasionally, but when I do, I spend the whole afternoon there relaxing, and it's better than a spa, seriously. (Wow, I think I just out-dorked myself there.)

3) Fashion show! It's this Saturday, and I'm a model. It's going to be fun! Also, this is the only time I'm ever going to be a model for anything in my life. I'm 5'1". I buy jeans from the kids section, which earns me strange looks from store employees who evidently can't see how abnormally short my legs are. Not that I'm bitter or anything. Nope.

4) New novel! Probably towards the end of March, when I catch my breath. I'm trying my hand at something more modern (my last two are set in the past). I have been contemplating dabbling in different genres for a while now. Trying to find my voice, that illusive voice, darn it. Also, I'm going to write this one slower, more thoroughly. There are plenty of people who swear by just writing the first draft and then fixing it later. I, however, am not the world's greatest revisionist, and it might do me some good to be a little more discerning with my first draft. Like I said, trying out a lot of new things, which should help me grow as a writer.

Bonus: this is a really stupid one, but ever since I got contacts at the beginning of the year, I've been obsessed with sunglasses (because I've never been able to wear them before). A quick shopping trip to the mall to finalize my outfits for the fashion show turned into a THREE HOUR extravaganza because I got side-tracked by every display of sunglasses I passed. You can bet March is going to involve the purchasing of sunglasses. And I will wear them every time it's sunny, yes I will. So, Illinois, please for once hold back your lame penchant for sucky, epic-rain spring weather and bring on the sunshine!

Writing and Race (Part 2)

2010-02-22T13:05:00.000-08:00

Regarding this topic, the author Zetta Elliott wrote a guest post on Justine's blog. You can read it here.

I don't agree. This is pretty much the opposite of what I had to say earlier. And that's all I have to say. You can read through the comments to see the varying opinions, and in the end, Justine herself chimes in, and I still don't agree. This is all I have to say on this matter, because I don't want to get sucked in on something that I'm probably going to be accused of having no authority on, because I'm young, because don't brush against the publishing industry much - all of which are valid points.

Preemptively speaking, I know I'm going to get accused of being an idiotic, un-worldly American (and sometimes I deserve this epithet, when I am severely crippled about knowing non-Western cultures, and sometimes it is simply unfounded America-hate), but I will say this anyway. I don't ever have a problem, vocally or in my head, when someone from another country writes about Americans, for the fear of "getting us wrong." Perhaps it is because the U.S. is a very diverse place, and heck, who am I to have the authority to know whether one portrayal is right or wrong? The point is, there is no way to pigeonhole "the American lifestyle," because I'm fairly sure my life does not vaguely resemble someone who lives in Florida, or Mississippi, or New Jersey, or Oregon.

Therefore, I would assume it is difficult to say that someone is "writing Australians wrong" unless Australia is a shockingly homogenous place, which I doubt it is.

Just to clarify, I am aware everyone is entitled to have their own opinion, and J.S. Mill did say that in a free, uncensored society, it is impossible not to be offended by anyone. I guess the question is, drawing the line where offense because intolerable (ie racism) or when offense is simply over-PC-ness.

(Also, post-script: you rock, US hockey! Sorry, Canadians who are reading. Gotta support my homeboys. :D)

Friday Ideas and Silliness

2010-02-18T22:33:00.000-08:00

Mrrhajskd, I have a test tomorrow morning, by which I mean, in eight hours. So, I'm pondering here tonight before I hit the sack, about ideas.

Before you write a novel, you have to have an idea. Some people get ideas easily, and for some people, it takes a while. Sometimes ideas fly toward you randomly during the day, and sometimes, you have to actively think about it. But once you've gotten these ideas, what makes you put them on paper? What makes you decide which idea you want to commit? There is one thing I know about myself, and that is I am a huge commitment-phobe, in all aspects of life, so it stands to reason that I would be one as a writer too.

Tell me what you think!

Also, I answered all of the questions Sarah threw at me, and here they are:

What is your favorite book you've read recently? What song do you wish wasn't ever invented? What song do you wish you invented? How many hours procrastinating do you spend a day? If Estee Lauder bottled up the essense of Johnny Depp, what would it include?

I cut out a lot of rambling, but the end still sounds like I inhaled laughing gas. I like to think my writing is a lot more articulate than my speaking, hah.

Writing and Race

2010-02-16T17:43:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: I'm trying really hard not to offend anybody in this post. I apologize beforehand if someone feels uncomfortable about this topic.

The YA author Justine Larbalestier often posts on her blog about the subject of race in fiction. I used to follow it a lot, but I only drop by occasionally now, because the greater emphasis on ethnic politics rather than craft is not my cup of tea (but everyone is entitled to write whatever they want on their blog, obviously). This is a pretty touchy subject, but since I am a minority and I write, I figured I should address it.

Now, I guess I would be what you considered a pretty white-washed Asian. I've been told by people who are Asian and people who are white that I am not very...ethnic? I've always found this kind of funny since I can speak Chinese fluently and my reading is not half-bad. When I go to China, people frequently don't know I'm foreign unless I specifically bring it up. I guess since I don't dress like an anime character and am not into Asian pop-culture, this makes me not very Asian. Okay, fine. I can accept that. I mean, when I was little I used to actually think I was white. You might think I'm lying, but I assure you, I am not. I was a racially confused child. I used to dream about having blonde-haired, blue-eyed babies, and it was a sad, sad day in my life when I realized this was genetically impossible (or at least very improbable).

My characters are primarily white people (Caucasian; sorry, I'm just going to use "white" because it's shorter; hopefully, that's not un-PC). I read fiction and imagine MC's to be white (unless specifically indicated otherwise - this probably says something about what society makes minorities think, but that would be delving into a whole different problem). There isn't a lot of fiction with people of color (abbr. POC) anyway, and errr, Justine's blog (through no fault of its own) sometimes makes me feel guilty that I am not one of those people who searches for fiction with people who "look like me." I never thought about not being able to relate to people who are not Asian. I mean, I sympathize with those people who are like unique combinations (ie Malaysian-Chinese or Muslim-Australian or something) who crave for fiction that "represents" them, but it honestly never occurred to me (until I read Justine's blog) to find a character who is racially me.

I realize that the lack of POC fiction is a problem. There are plenty of children who struggle with identity issues growing up because TV and books are full of white people. And I think that there should definitely be more people who write POC fiction, and it shouldn't be limited to POC authors - white people can equally write POC fiction (as Justine has proved). But I also

don't think that POC authors should be expected to write only people who look like them. Look, I really enjoy POC fiction. When I pick up a book about Chinese people that is good, I am thrilled. I do relate to it, very well. It's cool when they talk about Chinese food and Chinese customs and things where I can be like, "Wow, my parents said that when I was young too!" But at the same time, I have no problem relating to a Midwestern white girl from a small town. Because I share more experiences than just through race. For the same reason, I can enjoy a book about a Muslim girl discovering her identity. Or a French royal princess from the sixteenth century. Or a gnome. Or a bee. Or whatever.

Books shouldn't be marketed to a certain ethnic group; I refuse to believe a white person cannot relate to a book about a Chinese girl, and I ALSO refuse to believe there are minorities out there who cannot relate to MC's that are white. And authors shouldn't be expected to write based "on their own racial experience." I'm an Asian writer. And I write about white people. And Asian people. And fairies. Does it matter? Perhaps, it is narrow-minded for me to assume that just because I don't see the world through racial goggles, nobody does either. I like to be optimistic, though. And I like to think that everyone can choose to take off their racial goggles if they want to.

What do you think?

Percy Jackson: The Movie Vlog

2010-02-13T02:07:00.000-08:00

Otherwise known as, XiXi dies of a coughing fit on screen. Also, it took FOREVER to process this video, so I'm never, ever making a video this long again. It's so hideously late night that it's actually early morning. In the worst possible way, as in, the sun is probably going to wake me up the minute I go to bed.

Lame that I get even less sleep on weekends than I do on weekdays. Anyway, ignoring my personal insomniatic woes:

1 2 3 of Worldbuilding

2010-02-10T22:58:00.000-08:00

Thanks for the response on my first vlog! I am possibly one of the least photogenic people on the planet, but I think by the time you're in college, you accept how weird you look/sound on camera and in real life. Or you can de-tag yourself from all of your pictures on Facebook, but that probably takes a lot of effort. Also, you can't de-tag yourself from real life.

All right. So I was reading Gail Carson Levine's latest post, and it got me to thinking about worldbuilding in fiction. Don't turn off just because you're not a fantasy writer. Every story has worldbuilding, even if it's not as crazy as fantasy. Every character has a fictional world in which they live, and just because it's not full of magic and elves and exploding pixies, it's still a world that is not the *real* world. How do you prep for worldbuilding?

I will admit that I think I suck at worldbuilding. That's why I like fan fiction. I don't have to worldbuild! We all have flaws, okay? Here are three points I try to think about when worldbuilding.

Disclaimer: This is coming from the girl who hates this part of writing. Really. So I mean...this isn't expert advice or anything.

1) The best worldbuilding creates a setting that comes alive. I don't mean come alive like it's going to grow a conscience and start eating your MC. But it creates a mood. It sets the tone of your story. It *matches* the tone of your story. (Don't write a horror story with cheerful unicorns in the background and rainbows and singing flowers). It becomes a character. Don't let your world be an awkward extra to fade aside. Be vibrant. Be there.

2) Don't detail out every little tiny thing. I make this mistake all of the time. I overthink everything. You don't need to explain the tiniest things. The best ways to set the world is to create a descriptively loaded sentence. One good sentence can do more to flesh out your world than a paragraph of awkward rambling that only makes the empty parts stand out more. Besides, you need to give your readers some credit. They can fill in some of it without constant direction.

Above the couch is the apartment's only attempt at artwork; a mellow, lonely landscape painting of an island, hanging in a frame that gives it too much space. - antistar_e, a brilliant writer of fan fiction, among other things. (Excerpt from It's A No Regret Life)

3) Let your world tell the story as well. Don't put in description for the sake of description. It gives the reader a headache to imagine pointless details. Description should further the story. It should say something about the plot or the characters or the running emotions. Ideally. Empty details are not good. Not good for anyone, and it's probably going to be cut eventually anyway.

I don't even follow this advice all of the time. If I did, I would be a better writer, probably by a lot. I try, though. Now, in my opinion, the novels with the best worldbuilding EVAR:

1) Lord of the Rings (J.R.R. Tolkien)- it's timeless, ya'll, and you basically want to live there/believe it's real.

2) Chronicles of Narnia (C.S. Lewis) - obligatory mention, since I spent half my childhood trying to enter wardrobes, you know it's real, somewhere beyond the divide -

3) Harry Potter (J.K. Rowling)- ditto; I waited for my letter, yo.

4) Spindle's End (Robin McKinley) - first chapter = the best worldbuilding I've ever read.

5) Un Lun Dun (China Mieville) - it's so weird it's real; his imagination is full of crazy goodness.

6) The Smile (Donna Jo Napoli) - brilliantly sets you right in the middle of Medici Florence, down to the culture, the smells, the colors, and the taste of pasta sauce in your mouth.

There are many more examples, of course. I would consider Robin McKinley a surefire in any of her novels. The plot and characters might be weaker with different stories, but she never, ever disappoints in her luscious worlds. Also, it occurs to me that everyone who is awesome uses their initials instead of first-middle names. The moral of the story is initials = better worldbuilding. Fact.

On Friday, after my friends and I get back from the Percy Jackson movie, I'll be doing a reaction vlog. It will be epic. Stay tuned!

(Almost) Anniversary and VLOG

2010-02-09T16:48:00.000-08:00

Yes, I totally copied this from Weronika, but for real, I actually only just figured out how to use iMovie...today. Since I like watching other people's vlogs (because I can hear their voices IRL!), I thought I would celebrate my blog's (almost) one year anniversary (Feb. 11th!) with revealing what my voice REALLY sounds like. You're curious, right? Right? Let me pretend.

The lighting is kind of dark, but meh. It's snowy and gross outside and I had nothing to do ~~except productive things like homework~~. The video is a pseudo-tour of my dorm room and a show-and-tell of the books I have on my desk. Enjoy.

Ignore my awkward rambling at the end. I have no idea what I was saying. Maybe I was on drugs. Maybe that baggie you saw on my desk was actually ecstasy. Also, I fail at making eye contact with the camera.

Where Do I Belong?

2010-02-08T02:18:00.000-08:00

*anguished look*

What is your favorite genre to read? Mystery? Chick lit? Fantasy? Sci-fi? Romance? Historical? YA? Adult? You tell me. Did you always like this genre or did you switch around? Or are you not picky about genres at all? Check the last five books you've read. What genres are they?

All right. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let me ask you, is what you write and what you read the same?

The most important question is: did you always write in the genre you write in now? I think I'm going to do some wandering about, because I don't know if I've found that genre that I click in, totally. Not that I don't like writing fantasy, but you know. I'm not ready for a committed relationship, okay? I'm dating around, being easy. You can judge me. I'm a genre slut. I mean, fantasy has nice eyes and all, but I think literary has all these deep thoughts that just sweep me off my feet. I swoon. And well, historical makes me laugh with all its funny jokes. Bah, it's complicated.

I'm trying to finish my fan fiction before I do any drastic original fiction lifestyle changes. It was kind of a New Year's resolution for me to update faster, but ah, you know how resolutions work. My novel and I are taking a break from our relationship. Probably mad because I'm flirting with other projects. It gets really jealous sometimes.

10 Ways A Real Book Is Better

2010-02-04T23:37:00.000-08:00

I had a real post, but I'll post it Monday because who needs substance when you can create LISTS? This is my semi-humorous (but TOTALLY SERIOUS) response to this whole e-book pricing debacle. 10 ways a real book is better than an e-book:

1. If you are short like me (5'1", Sarah, so I think I win in the self-pity department), you can use it as a cushion to prop you up when you drive so you can see over your steering wheel and not get pulled over by a cop for looking like you're a 9-year-old who ganked a car.

2. Doorstop. Obvious. Breaking Dawn works really well for this function.

3. You look smarter reading one. The thicker the better.

4. Reason to go to the bookstore and check out cute boys, HELLO.

5. Bookshelf filler. What are you going to put in your bookshelves without paper books? Think about how lame it would be if in Beauty and the Beast, instead of giving Belle a massive library (which is like, every girl's dream), Beast handed her a Kindle with 1500 titles. Totally not as impressive or swoon-worthy.

6. Real books don't run out of batteries.

7. You can attempt to read real books while taking a bath (yes I have done this, and also considered laminating books so I could read them in the shower; don't lie, you have definitely thought about it at least once), while I don't really think you'd want to attempt taking an electronic device in the bathtub with you.

8. If you are stranded on a desert island, you can use it as a pillow. Or eat it. I bet it's more nourishing than a plastic e-reader. Paper has fiber, right?

9. If a thief breaks into your house, you can beat him senseless with it (hardcover preferred). I bet you can't do that with a Kindle!

10. You can burn them if you're really mad at something. Or throw them. Or rip them up! The therapeudic uses are ENDLESS.

I want the Shamwow guy to make a commercial of this.

Bonus: Real books smell better. Fact. Don't even try to dispute this.

Well, I'm Back Part Two (Really, Probably)

2010-02-01T11:51:00.001-08:00

It's good to be back. Here. With you. And not gallivanting about elsewhere.

It's already February, and suffice to say, this is why I should never, ever make New Year's Resolutions ever again. I obviously have been following through on those well. I have to apologize for being gone so long, but I hope from now on, I'll be posting on a semi-regular basis. I haven't been posting in so long, I don't know anything to write about anymore!

So I'm going to leave you with the picture I got when I googled "awkward LOLcat." Ah, memories. Hopefully, I'll come up with something better next time.

This is awkward.

Home

2010-01-24T12:26:00.000-08:00

Since coming back to America, I haven't seen a sunny day yet. It's been foggy or rainy every single day in Central Illinois. I'm starting to wonder if the sun is ever going to come out.

You see, I think I have a pretty bad case of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). I already have problems getting through January and February, and this year might prove to be the hardest.

I really miss China. This is strange, because I've gone back four times, and I'm always very happy to come back to America. I'm happy to sleep on a spring mattress instead of a wooden one. I'm happy to be able to read signs in English and eat greasy food and be with my friends. I don't know what has made this time different.

But it's gotten bad. Sometimes, I wake up in the morning, and I can't even find the motivation to get out of bed, to say nothing of writing. I can't even find the motivation to move. It scares me. I hate being in my room because the pale, watery light from the windows makes me depressed. Lonely. It's not like I'm holing myself up or anything. I'm around people who make me laugh and make me happy all the time. All day, because I don't like being by myself. But the minute I'm sitting on my bed, it's like a sinking into a hole again. And I don't know how I'm supposed to explain this (except in writing) because it sounds stupid, doesn't it? I feel fine when I'm not by myself.

I dream about home. Not home, here, but home across the ocean. It may be a combination of my grandpa passing away (and finally seeing his ashes) and my maternal grandma undergoing chemo for her cancer. I miss them. I'm afraid of what changes might happen again by the next time I go back, which can only be a year at the soonest. I was the only grandchild my grandpa didn't get to see on his deathbed. I didn't cry when he died. I didn't cry until my grandma told me he asked for me before he died. By that time, he was delirious. He asked for me, but I wasn't there.

I think, maybe, that it didn't register until now, a delayed reaction kind of thing. And now, I just feel so very far away from home. I don't want to be here.

I know this post is all disjointed, but I needed to write it just to hash out some stuff in my head. I can't concentrate on anything right now. At some points, I can't even decide what I'm really sad about, because it's all clumped into one big ball of confusion. I wish I could write to take my mind off things. But I just can't be by myself for any length of time.

Hopefully, the sun comes out soon.

Well, I'm Back

2010-01-21T09:42:00.001-08:00

Actually, I've been back for several days now, but the beginning of the semester is a mess, as always. So I'm trying to figure out my schedule and how to not kill myself with all these 400-levels. In my honors class, I am the youngest, only one of three girls (the other two are seniors), and the only non-white person. I feel...a little bit out of place. And homework. I sure did enjoy not having homework for three and a half weeks.

I'm trying really hard to get over my jetlag. I am out of it by about eight o'clock at night, which as some of you might know, is not really acceptable to college life. I fell asleep at work yesterday, sitting up. That's how bad it is.

China is lovely, and I miss it now that I'm back. I miss the food and my family, most of all. I'll do a post on it all later, but I thought this was a little overdue. First post of 2010!

Catch You On the Flip Side

2009-12-30T20:58:00.000-08:00

Blog is going dark until January 18. Wish I could do one update in China, but I'm fairly sure it's blocked there. Can't have us expressing our opinions on the internet, no way.

I'll miss reading your blogs!

Love,

XiXi.

PS I finished the second draft of ATRS. Right on time. :-)

New Year's Resolutions

2009-12-29T21:39:00.000-08:00

For writing. Because those might actually come to pass. As for the normal life ones, I don't see the point of them. They're nice for about a week until I fail spectacularly and think, welp, I've always got next year. 11 months to go! So that's how successful my life is.

While you'll all undoubtedly be having lots of fun on New Year's Eve drinking champagne, getting kisses, and partying it up past midnight, I will be sitting on a plane, staring like a vagrant dog at the flight attendants for my next meal. Fact: I get hungry almost every two hours so sitting on a plane where they only give you four meals (ish) is absolute torture for me. I'm basically starving the entire trip. Sometimes, I feel like I'm pregnant because I'm so damn hungry all the time. I must be eating for two. Also, turbulence scares the crap out of me. Not to mention, that scary Detroit pseudo-terrorist thing a couple days ago doesn't make me feel good either, but at least I'm traveling out of the country instead of in. But positive, right? Think positive. I am thinking very positive.

Writing resolutions time.

1) FINISH ATRS, REALLY. I started this thing last January. It's time to clean it up, edit the crap out of it, and send it out. I have to test the waters sometime.

2) Not be so bad at doing updates on FFnet. Also linked with this, stop promising updates that I cannot follow through with. Whoops. I am getting better, kind of. ~~Lie.~~

3) Finish the NaNo book!

4) Start new, shiny urban fantasy project with water horses and selkies YAY (stop tempting me, you slutty new project, you).

That's all. It's not too ambitious, I guess. I'm starting small.

PS My mom is approving my suitcase right now YES PARENTS PLEASE FLIP THROUGH ALL OF MY CLOTHES TO SEE IF THEY SUIT YOUR STANDARDS guh. Fine, if you don't understand that I have to bring every single scarf I own; I can't part from my scarves! Packing is such an ordeal in the Tian household. Mom, I am wearing high-heeled boots to the airport. I don't care that they aren't practical. I am not a very practical human being. That's why I'm a writer.