Making Yourself Happy

I think I need to address this issue, because writing sometimes counteracts it.  Well, actually because I just "read" Lady Glam's post.  By "read" I mean, I skimmed the first two paragraphs. I should be studying physics right now, but blogging is MORE IMPORTANT on my list of priorities.

So, who really knows what Lady Glam's post is?  I will when I read it later.  But the point is, it provided a good springboard for my own post.  Isn't how they all come about?  I am the opposite of creativity.  I suck the creativity out of everything.

There are a lot of writers who are depressed.  Like Emily Dickinson.  I don't know; I guess creative people need that negative energy to a certain extent.  I mean, not to a suicidal extent, but for purposes of channeling things.  When I was younger, I tried numerous times to keep a diary.  I have four or five of them, each filled to maybe ten pages if I was ambitious, less if I was impatient/forgetful.  Going back and reading them, you know what they sound like? ANGST.  "Blah blah, I hate my brother, blah blah, my mom is ruining my life, blah blah, why is everything so DRAMATIC?"  I don't know about you guys, but my diaries (which I don't try to keep anymore, since my brother is super good at using them to blackmail me) were canvasses upon which to vent the woes of my complicated pre-teen life.  I only wrote when I was emotionally disturbed.

But I think there's a point to which you have to understand that writing is not actually about being depressed.  If writing is not making you happy overall (so I admit, writing pisses me off a lot, but I am happy OVERALL with it), then a reevaluation is necessary.  Don't do something that ruins your life, for obvious reasons.  It's not worth it.

If publication is ruining your life, then don't think about it.  I definitely get sucked into thinking about publication a lot, but I try not to.  Writing should be about enjoying whatever stage you're in.  I tell myself that I would write even if I never, ever get published.  And that makes the climb a lot better.

Some of my happiest, most fulfilling moments have been when I wrote a fanfiction piece I was particularly proud of.  I don't even need a lot of validation--but you know, because I am egotistical like that, I save every single review I get in a folder.  So maybe not everything I write is a jewel.  Maybe it's a piece of coal.  It doesn't matter to me as long as it's something I spent time on and slaved over.

Anyway, it's time for me to write another fanfiction piece (or two, but probably not) for the battle, and I was thinking about how it wasn't adding to my novel.  But sometimes, it's best to do what makes you happy.  Learn to be selfish for the moments that matter.

Except for school.  If school makes you unhappy, that's too bad.  You have to do it anyway.