So, who really knows what Lady Glam's post is? I will when I read it later. But the point is, it provided a good springboard for my own post. Isn't how they all come about? I am the opposite of creativity. I suck the creativity out of everything.
There are a lot of writers who are depressed. Like Emily Dickinson. I don't know; I guess creative people need that negative energy to a certain extent. I mean, not to a suicidal extent, but for purposes of channeling things. When I was younger, I tried numerous times to keep a diary. I have four or five of them, each filled to maybe ten pages if I was ambitious, less if I was impatient/forgetful. Going back and reading them, you know what they sound like? ANGST. "Blah blah, I hate my brother, blah blah, my mom is ruining my life, blah blah, why is everything so DRAMATIC?" I don't know about you guys, but my diaries (which I don't try to keep anymore, since my brother is super good at using them to blackmail me) were canvasses upon which to vent the woes of my complicated pre-teen life. I only wrote when I was emotionally disturbed.
But I think there's a point to which you have to understand that writing is not actually about being depressed. If writing is not making you happy overall (so I admit, writing pisses me off a lot, but I am happy OVERALL with it), then a reevaluation is necessary. Don't do something that ruins your life, for obvious reasons. It's not worth it.
If publication is ruining your life, then don't think about it. I definitely get sucked into thinking about publication a lot, but I try not to. Writing should be about enjoying whatever stage you're in. I tell myself that I would write even if I never, ever get published. And that makes the climb a lot better.
Some of my happiest, most fulfilling moments have been when I wrote a fanfiction piece I was particularly proud of. I don't even need a lot of validation--but you know, because I am egotistical like that, I save every single review I get in a folder. So maybe not everything I write is a jewel. Maybe it's a piece of coal. It doesn't matter to me as long as it's something I spent time on and slaved over.
Anyway, it's time for me to write another fanfiction piece (or two, but probably not) for the battle, and I was thinking about how it wasn't adding to my novel. But sometimes, it's best to do what makes you happy. Learn to be selfish for the moments that matter.