My Worst Fear

I am a fearful person. I have a list of fears that is like a hundred bullet points and growing. There are a bunch of stupid, irrational fears:

• Sharks. Even though I don't live remotely near the ocean.
  
• Bees and wasps. Anything that could sting me.
  
• Dragonflies. They used to be called the Devil's Darning Needle in the past! Plus, those buggy little eyes freak me out.
  
• Butterflies. I am afraid of anything that is insect-like with wings, regardless of how benign they might be.
  
• Lightning. Taking a class on Severe and Hazardous Weather did not soothe those fears.
  
• Illness. I am basically a hypochondriac, okay. I diagnose myself with everything.
  
• The dark. I know I'm almost twenty. I still bury myself under the blankets and refuse to leave the closet door open/look under the bed.
  
• Mirrors. Bloody Mary? Still afraid.

Then I have more rational fears:

• Loneliness.
  
• Being forgotten.
  
• Being disliked.
  
• Failure.

Let me also add to that list:

• Burial. My internship has convinced me that I want to be cremated. Once you know the exact processes of how a body rots (putrefaction sets in after 2-3 days, you turn green, then black, then your skin swells up and bursts, then your internal organs liquefy and leak out through your butt and don't even get me started on the chronological order of bugs that come to eat you), you decide that you would rather not go through that process.

But I am not talking about those fears. I'm talking about a more harmless fear. I always fear getting my hopes up for a book that starts out with so much promise and has such a disappointing ending. This applies to both reading and writing. But more reading, as of late. People keep coming to me to ask for reading recommendations (I guess this is maybe because they think that since I write, I must know lots of good books to recommend), but I am very shy with recommendations because I've read a whole ton of books this summer with great beginnings and poor endings. I have this fear, especially when I buy books prior to reading them, because I am always so sad when it ends up being something I probably won't reread.*

So I'm opening up the floor. Do you have any recommendations that are great from start to finish?

I just bought If I Stay by Gayle Forman. I've wanted to read it for a long time. I hate the new cover. The title and plot are already too similar to Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver (Forman's book was published first) and now the cover ALSO looks like Oliver's book. Plus, I also hate how the new book has the blurb, "Will appeal to fans of Twilight." You know how I feel about blurbs that compare books to Twilight. The popularity and wide audience of Twilight has pretty much made it a meaningless statement to compare another book to it. Plus, it is an obvious money/audience grab. Dislike. Anyway, here's to hoping that the ending will be good.

*I would just like to say I would still recommend The Memory Keeper's Daughter upon finishing it, but the middle is definitely not up to par with the beginning or end. It's repetitive and the plot moves more slowly than I would like. Also, all of the characters are highly unlikeable, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It makes them more "real," but given the extent that I thoroughly despise some of the characters, I would almost prefer the author to err on the more fictional side of things.