Wednesday, June 30, 2010

My Worst Fear

I am a fearful person. I have a list of fears that is like a hundred bullet points and growing. There are a bunch of stupid, irrational fears:
  • Sharks. Even though I don't live remotely near the ocean.
  • Bees and wasps. Anything that could sting me.
  • Dragonflies. They used to be called the Devil's Darning Needle in the past! Plus, those buggy little eyes freak me out.
  • Butterflies. I am afraid of anything that is insect-like with wings, regardless of how benign they might be.
  • Lightning. Taking a class on Severe and Hazardous Weather did not soothe those fears.
  • Illness. I am basically a hypochondriac, okay. I diagnose myself with everything.
  • The dark. I know I'm almost twenty. I still bury myself under the blankets and refuse to leave the closet door open/look under the bed.
  • Mirrors. Bloody Mary? Still afraid.
Then I have more rational fears:
  • Loneliness.
  • Being forgotten.
  • Being disliked.
  • Failure.
Let me also add to that list:
  • Burial. My internship has convinced me that I want to be cremated. Once you know the exact processes of how a body rots (putrefaction sets in after 2-3 days, you turn green, then black, then your skin swells up and bursts, then your internal organs liquefy and leak out through your butt and don't even get me started on the chronological order of bugs that come to eat you), you decide that you would rather not go through that process.
But I am not talking about those fears. I'm talking about a more harmless fear. I always fear getting my hopes up for a book that starts out with so much promise and has such a disappointing ending. This applies to both reading and writing. But more reading, as of late. People keep coming to me to ask for reading recommendations (I guess this is maybe because they think that since I write, I must know lots of good books to recommend), but I am very shy with recommendations because I've read a whole ton of books this summer with great beginnings and poor endings. I have this fear, especially when I buy books prior to reading them, because I am always so sad when it ends up being something I probably won't reread.*

So I'm opening up the floor. Do you have any recommendations that are great from start to finish?

I just bought If I Stay by Gayle Forman. I've wanted to read it for a long time. I hate the new cover. The title and plot are already too similar to Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver (Forman's book was published first) and now the cover ALSO looks like Oliver's book. Plus, I also hate how the new book has the blurb, "Will appeal to fans of Twilight." You know how I feel about blurbs that compare books to Twilight. The popularity and wide audience of Twilight has pretty much made it a meaningless statement to compare another book to it. Plus, it is an obvious money/audience grab. Dislike. Anyway, here's to hoping that the ending will be good.

*I would just like to say I would still recommend The Memory Keeper's Daughter upon finishing it, but the middle is definitely not up to par with the beginning or end. It's repetitive and the plot moves more slowly than I would like. Also, all of the characters are highly unlikeable, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It makes them more "real," but given the extent that I thoroughly despise some of the characters, I would almost prefer the author to err on the more fictional side of things. 


  1. I really enjoyed If I Stay. It's funny that it's getting popular all of a sudden. It has been around for awhile, I think, hasn't it? I hate the new cover, too. And I don't see why it would appeal to fans of Twilight? That's really odd. Marketing. Gotta love it.

  2. I don't have one to recommend. :( I'll admit that I'm finding more and more the same as you ~ that a story has so much potential and then ... nothing.

  3. I'm so with you on cremation. Back in high school, I read an article on how bodies are prepped for funerals and burial...Did you know that they stick little spiked caps under your eyelids so your eyes stay closed?

    They will also break your jaw (or neck? I can't remember) to make your head sit juuuuust right on the pillow.

    Comforting, isn't it?

  4. I hate when book covers try to mimic others, or compare to high-selling books. Especially when the style of the author is so different. My mother bought me a book in seventh grade that 'was the next harry potter', which of course was nothing like HP. I loved the book anyway, it's still one of my favorites, but there's absolutely NOTHING in the book that would make me recommend it to HP fans, other than that it's fiction. I would much prefer books, if they're compared to another book on the cover, to be valid comparisons.
    I could rant on this, I could also daydream hours about what comparisons I would put on my favorite book covers. :) Anyway, great post! I hate promising beginnings that turn to bad endings. It's really very depressing.

  5. You're so right about that particular comparison being completely meaningless. If someone wanted to put that on my book, I'd throw an EPIC tantrum.

    Actually, now that you bring it up, that's officially my new biggest fear. Thanks ever so much. ;)

  6. I am with you on the cremation thing. Watching Supernatural only cemented the idea that burial is maybe not so desirable. Speaking of SPN, the Bloody Mary episode in season 1 is one of the flippin' scariest episodes of the series. Bloody Mary is a LEGITIMATE FEAR. I was terrified of mirrors in dark rooms for A LONG TIME, then blissfully forgot about Bloody Mary for a year or two, and then somehow got reminded of it and it's never gone away since. -__-'

    The original If I Stay cover is beautiful, the new one typical. I was going to buy a copy at the LA Times Book Festival, but they only had the new cover version, so I didn't. FAIL. I really enjoyed the book though, so it hopefully won't disappoint you. READ INCARCERON. ;)