I don't know how I've gone for so long without reading anything by John Green. People are always talking about him. It's like he's the secret dorky celebrity of the writing world, and you know me. If something is popular, I resist it with all of my willpower,* but then in the end I eventually jump on that bandwagon and pretend like I was always into it.
It's how I am.
Okay, well, I read LOOKING FOR ALASKA,** and my mind was blown. Like, blown into smithereens. Seriously, why do the rest of us even try when people like John Green are out there? I will write a sentence, but he will write a better one. It'll be a bestselling sentence. Does that exist? It probably does if John Green wants it to.
I mean, I Wikipedia-ed him the other day, and his writing bio was like this:
1) Write novel.
2) Publish it.
3) EVERYONE LOVES IT, AND IT SELLS LIKE HOTCAKES. (I don't know what hotcakes are, but apparently they sell quite well.)
4) ALL THE CRITICS LOVE YOU.
5) YOU WIN EVERY AWARD OF ALL TIME.
6) HOLLYWOOD-ESQUE PEOPLES PURCHASE THE RIGHTS TO YOUR BOOK FOR FUTURE MOVIES.
Of the writers out there, they fall into a few categories. Some of them excel at writing. Some of them excel at storytelling. Some of them are decent at both. John Green is EQUALLY EXCELLENT at writing and storytelling, which has most likely ripped the space-time continuum as a result, but then, he probably patched it up. With more writing.
I'm going to go to the library, and check out all of his books now. His books are like drugs. Possibly, he has learned how to incorporate his chapters with cocaine. I wouldn't doubt it.
*I am evidently a very weak-willed person.
**See, if you click on the Amazon link, the title of LOOKING FOR ALASKA is actually LOOKING FOR ALASKA PRINTZ AWARD WINNER. John Green's books are just badass like that.
***This is literally the process every John Green novel has gone through. It should be a patented method.